i am in a begging of a serious realtionship with a girl who is very very regelious i like that actualy but i wanted to be honest with her so i told her that i had sex before so she got paniced ( its not so common for ppl like her or on her area )and she got so confused iam so afraid iam gonna lose her what should i do ?
2006-07-02 11:41:25 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
you might. her values are different than yours.
explain to her that if she loves you she will accept you for who you are now and your past shouldn't stop her from being with you. Also, don't pressure her into sex, and make her comfortable.
2006-07-02 11:44:29 · answer #1 · answered by truthyness 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give her some time. She may not be used to being around someone who has has premarital sex before. Be open and honest with her, and let her know that you are telling her this so that there are no secrets between you. Don't be afraid to lose her, if you do anything out of fear of her ending the relationship, she could see that as manipulation. Besides do you really want to be in a serious relationship with someone who doesn't accept you for who you are?
2006-07-02 18:47:35 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having sex before marriage is a sin, but if you want to be forgiven and will not have sex again then check out Psalm 53. It's the story of King David taking Bathsheba to bed and then asking for forgiveness. It's a second virginity. Also tell her that you don't want that from her, because trust me she's not going to give it up if she's serious as you say about her religion. God is more importiant than any man.
Just cont. being honest, trust me it will pay off in the long run.
Kay
2006-07-02 18:47:17 · answer #3 · answered by Kay Eliz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would think she would be happier that you were honest with her.
I would think she would value honesty over things you did before you met her.
If you lose her over this, she wasn't worth having. You deserve better than that. You deserve to be loved for who and what you are, not for what she wants or thinks you should be.
Most people aren't virgins when they get married. If she is REALLY still a virgin, then she just hasn't met the boy that will get her to throw her legs in the air yet.
Has it occurred to you that she might be upset because she isn't really a virgin and she felt stupid for not telling you the truth when you told her the truth? Perhaps she is using this issue as a control device to keep you on a string... until she finds somebody she likes better.
Bottom line is don't fret it. You can't change what you have done in your past and shouldn't feel bad because you told the truth. Tell her that if she loves you, she should get over it. If she doesn't, move on. You don't need that nonsense in your life.
2006-07-02 19:08:01 · answer #4 · answered by Dustin Lochart 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not your fault all of the sudden you are dating a religous person and you had sex before because you can't change the past. She should be happy you told her the truth and just talk to her about it and see if she forgives you because all people make mistakes. ANd this is a free country and ppl don't have the same belifs. If you still care for her try not to lose her!
2006-07-02 18:53:17 · answer #5 · answered by Big Fat Wrinkley Elbow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Little Brother, you did the most important thing you could hav done... you were honest with her, and told her something that she needed to know.
Now, the key to the whole evolution is to communicate... and that's BOTH of you. If you are expecting that she have sex with you, tyhen TELL HER, and if she is not ready, then you need to decide from there. If you DON'T want her to go against her beliefs, then TELL HER, and show her by not pressuring her or talking about it.
2006-07-02 18:49:22 · answer #6 · answered by Bradly S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like that you were honest with her up front. It shows commitment, love and respect for her. Once she's ready, you'll need to have another talk with her and assure her that you have no intention of compromising her values or taking her places she doesn't want to go. If she feels as you do that this relationship is worth continuing, you two can work through this and become stronger as a result. Best wishes.
2006-07-02 18:49:44 · answer #7 · answered by lotsayorks 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not much you can do. If she's that "freaked out" then I'd seriously wonder if she isn't a virgin either. After all, 65% of kids that go to these "save yourself for marriage" groups are there to pick up a member of the opposite sex, and score.
2006-07-02 19:03:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is probably just scared that you will expect more out of her, than she is willing to give, in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. Just go slow, and make sure she knows that she is calling the shots still, and won't be forced into anything.
2006-07-02 18:45:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you like the principles she lives by find out her whole belief system and pray abut it yourself. However depending on her age, I believe she might believe you could never become a true husband to her and would flit around flower garden. Would that be true?
2006-07-02 18:51:11 · answer #10 · answered by rapturefuture 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you also tell her that you don't expect her to have sex with you before marriage? Many religious folks can handle pre-marital sex as long as they don't have to be a part of it. Tell her that you can wait. This may reduce her panic.
2006-07-02 18:47:35 · answer #11 · answered by optionseeker1989 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋