Why Am I Always Just the Friend?

Question

I am a 20 yr old college student 5-11 210lbs who has been always looking for that special girl, but somehow I always end up just the friend. I'm not the most attractive guy in the world, but I'm not ugly...people say I look like Dallas Clark. Anyways I got a good job, brand new car, and I treat the girls I am friends with like gold. I'm pretty well educated, but I still go out drink, have fun, party, and all that normal 20 year old stuff. I'm never "fake" I'm always real. If someone talks to me I'm always truthful. It seems nowadays you have to have a gimmick to get the girl. Like "I'm a punk rocker, or I'm a drug dealer, or I'm a gambler". I don't fall into a category. I'm just me. Its been awhile since I had a girlfriend, about 2 years, and nothing changing. I feel like I got a huge void in my life...and it tears me apart...I rarely show that on the outside tho. Anyways just wanted some insight on why I have such bad luck w/ women, and ideas on things to change, do diff. etc.

Answer 1

Maybe you don't put yourself out there as available. You say that your nice to your friends that are girls, well if another girl sees that your nice to one girl or more they will never think that your interested in them. Pay attention to that one specific girl that you like and show her and tell her once the time is right. Its not always a good thing to be liked by all the girls and that could be your biggest threat to getting a girlfriend. They think either one of two things, he doesn't like me, or if he did there would be other girls that are friends involved and that might complicate things.

Also try to go for different types of girls instead of what you like. Maybe while your searching you will find that girl that you never knew was for you.

It has happened to me too. The guy I am with we are complete opposites, but our lifestyles that we have lived made us meet and now we are perfect for each other. I wasn't looking for him, he was defintely not looking for me, but now we are together. We have been together and we are really happy. It took awhile, but I found something that I wasn't looking for, because I was looking for something I thought I should have. And you want to know what. First impressions aren't everything. You have a lot that you can learn from someone in a long amount of time and thats what you want. Someone you always learn about.

Answer 2

Dating is like an interview. You have to have that something that a girl will remember that sets you apart from a crowd. The best friend is not a bad role. I am still confused about this "normal" people keep mentioning though. Maybe try being something different for a special girl. Normal is boring. Or maybe stop concentrating on getting a girl and focus more on having fun. Remember how attractive confidence looks on a face that stands out in a crowd.

Answer 3

well... as a woman 27.

It comes down to confidence. Dont pick up on one of your friends. Ask your friends to hook you up with someone.

Let the ladies know that you are interested in something more than friendship.. Let them also know that they are your friends and not to get the wrong idea.

Get yourself out there. Start flirting a little... That could be anything from just sparking a conversation to complimenting.

You are still 20. and you have a few more years to learn some stuff.

Good luck.

P.S. Woman like friends first then that can change into something more but the chemistry has to be perfect.

Answer 4

wow thats so sad.....
well this is what i think: its societys (girls) falts. what i mean is that girls are practically programmed to look and like cute guys that are in a category and stuff like that. Girls like Mr Muscles or Mr Hero but let me tell u thats not everyone! (not me at least) It could be the type of relationship you hold with the girl. Maybe they only want to be friends because thats how you met and treated them: as a friend not as a girlfriend. By the way when girls say that they just wanna be friends its only a nice way to dump them. anyway just when ur around a girl treat her like a girlfriend and be nice and all but dont take the relationship for granted as if u and her are only friends. Hope that helps and makes a little sences.....

Answer 5

Don't change for heavens sake, there is a girl just for you, that one you have been looking for. She's looking for you too believe me, she's heard all that fake stuff and she's looking for a real person. Don't settle for something less than what you are looking for, if you do chances are you'll be with the wrong one when the right one comes along. Enjoy being single and having friends, your 20 not 70, be proud of yourself and the values you have and Good Luck, I hope she's right around the corner!!!!!

Answer 6

Women and men alike almost always want what they think they can't have. Maybe you are rying too hard. Just sit back and go with the flow. It may not be the right time or the right girl for you. Being "the friend" is not a bad thing. The best relationships start off as friendships. Stop worrying so much about the outcome of the friendship and enjoy it.

Answer 7

I am a 20 yr old college student "5-11 210lbs"

-THAT is why you're always the friend, plus girls like to be treated badly, how else do you exlain all the hotties with the douche bags?

Answer 8

i am 26 yrs old and up until a month ago i felt the same way. in fact i had never had a boyfriend in my entire life until about 2 weeks ago. i felt like guys would like me because they were always calling me to hang out and just always wanted to be around me. when i was about your age i finally figured out that i am just friends with almost every guy in the universe. then i meet my current boyfriend. we are kind of opposite in this aspect though. we have been friends since high school and he was always popular and the girls were all over him. now we are together and i couldnt be happier.
the bottom line is that you will eventually find someone and it will be amazing. the fact that my boyfriend is my first boyfriend and the greatest man i have ever meet makes our relationship all the more special to me.

Answer 9

you know what I'm not going to lie I used to be the type that wanted a thug and one day I got him and I was so in love until he did me dirty and cheated on me lied to me over and over but I learned a valuable lesson had I not experienced that I wouldn't have ended up with someone who was just becoming a good friend instead he became more than just the nice guy who gave me advice...he became the man I now call my husband. had I not been through the bull s.h.i.t.it I wouldn't have known how to appreciate all he had to offer

so keep your head up and continue to be the wonderful human being you are it might take sometime but when you find your queen it will be something great I promise you

Answer 10

If you are who you say you are, I don't think the problem's you. Maybe the right girl hasn't stepped into your life yet, or maybe you need to approach someone at those parties you go to. I don't think it's easy for anyone to find the one they want to spend forever with. All I have to say is, wait and hope. She maybe right under your nose or coming soon. Don't reflect on why you're always just the friend anymore.. it's not good for you. You treat girls like gold, who wouldn't want you? Good luck, you. :]