well he said do you want me to propose to you on your birthday and i said yes and he sounded like he loved me at the time but i dont know any more he hasnt talked about it since april and i dont know what to do im scared to ask i dont want to sound stupid you know but he is the only guy i have ever felt this way about and i'm trying my hardest i just want him!!! please help me what do i do????
2006-07-02 10:58:25 · 33 answers · asked by nicole 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
i know i am young bu i have already had 5 boy friends in elementery school and three in jr high my brother died when i was 11 and my perents divorced at that time too so dont tell me im to young cuz i have lived a lot more life then most adults have
2006-07-02 11:21:34 · update #1
I am not judging you in the slightest. My husband and I dated from the time we were in Jr. High and we talked about marriage seriously at your age. We got engaged whn we were 19 and had a long engagement. We married last year when we were 22. Anyway, casually bring it up. After all, if he is going to be your husband you need to be confortable enough to talk about everything. Don't be pushy, just be honest and tell him how much you love him.
2006-07-02 15:09:15 · answer #1 · answered by danac210 5 · 3⤊ 4⤋
You say that you have been through a lot of very harsh things for a 15-16 year old to experience, but dont add divorce to this list. Marriage is a wonderful thing, and when you are ready, you will know this. High school loves can be great, but being an adult and being in love is so much better. Then next years of your life are going to be confusing, hurtful, and all will be learning experiences. This should be looked at as a test for the two of you. If you can make it through these trying times of you life together, then you should get married (after you are older). I dont want to tell you that you are not an adult and that you dont know what you are talking about, but we have all been through things in our lives, and you either chose to learn from them or dwell on them, but marriage should not be one of those things. So many people who have been married more than once will more than likely tell you that they wish that they had not. If nothing else, be selfish. What kind of ring can a sixteen year old boy buy you. Just think of it this way, if he loves you now the way that you love him, and you are meant for each other (which is possible), then that will not change over the next couple of years. Please dont become another statistic!
2006-07-02 16:34:50 · answer #2 · answered by twill_2518 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, I am going to try to be as nice about this as I can but this isn't easy. 16 is way too young to think about marriage. I realize you have been through a lot in recent years but getting married and starting a family is not the way to answer the problems. If you get engaged at 16, you will have kids by the time you are 18 which means you will never have any time to yourself and you'll never have a chance to grow and experience the wonderful things life has to offer. You will never travel, you will not get an education (if you even finish high school) and you will be at home for the rest of your life. There is so much to see and do in this world that settling down and getting married would be the worst thing possible for you at this stage in your life.
Another thing to think seriously about in all of this is having kids. I get the distinct impression that a family will start very shortly after you are married and your body is still developing. You will literally be a child having a child. Take your time and experience life before you settle down and get married. It's far too early for you.
2006-07-02 13:20:14 · answer #3 · answered by Patricia D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't look for security in another human being. You need to feel happy within before you can even consider adding someone else to your life....FOREVER. It's a big decision to make, getting married and all. There are so many options, and you should (in my opinion) just concentrate on finishing school right now, then make important decisions after you graduate. You shouldn't be thinking that long term yet. You have too much life to enjoy while you're single. I waited 'til I was 22 to get married, so age has nothing to do with how you feel, but, I can say I wish I'd waited a little longer. I was in love, but not with the right person. Things didn't work out, now we have a daughter together, it just makes it hard on the kids too if you decide to do things to early in life. I'd just forget the whole marriage thing. I know the ring and being engaged sounds like fun, but not while you're still in school. Enjoy your friends and hanging out, your freedom, your solitude, etc...all that goes away when you get married. It's a big decision, and it costs a lot more to get divorced (and takes longer) than it does to get married. Good luck in love and life!
2006-07-02 12:38:20 · answer #4 · answered by Shining Ray of Light 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You *are* too young. Having 5 boyfriends when you were 8 doesn't mean anything about love. Having your brother die, while sad, certainly doesn't prepare you for marriage. By the tone of your response and the reasoning behind your 'love', it really sounds like you just aren't there yet. I was incredibly grown up by 16, but ready for marriage, not even close.
You may want to talk to a therapist or counselor to try and figure out some of what you are feeling and work out your emotions. There are a ton of them floating around when you are 15 and talking to someone about it might help clear things up for you.
You need to live your life. Why would you even *want* to be married to someone at 16? You need to finish high school. You need to consider college. You need to have a shot at life on your own before you can seriously consider settling down.
Whatever you decide, good luck to you. : )
2006-07-03 09:38:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not trying to be mean but I'm sure you probably haven't lived more life than most adults. Wait awhile and I'm sure you'll realize that's not true also. Just reading your question it really sounds as though you're far too immature to be getting married; this is supposed to be something that will last forever, and I think that Britney Spears and many other celebrities are involved in relationships that are producing a very bad image and idea of what's right for young people like yourself. Wait- graduate, go to college, get a good job and establish yourself in life with a good place to live and so forth before you go and do something so serious. Marriage is a truly beautiful thing but not something to be taken lightly. I do wish you the best of luck.
2006-07-02 14:07:29 · answer #6 · answered by ntfd68 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey wait till your 18 to get married. You ain't the only one who's been threw hell. Experience in death doesn't give you experience in the real world. Sorry to say. I know how it is to be in love. But wait. Make sure you two are growing together right. Right now your too young to know that. That isn't anyway being mean to you. Don't make rash decision on marriage. Enjoy your youth. You are only young once. You are going to be a grown up in another 4 years for the rest of your life. Just because you are not engaged doesn't mean you don't love him any less. Nor him you. He might not talk about it cause he isn't sure. Start being a women now. Tell him you want to wait a little more. Guaranteed it will take a lot of stress off him. Your relationship will be better that way. Good luck girl.
2006-07-02 12:05:43 · answer #7 · answered by nay 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you feel like a grown up right now. I too had a very hard childhood and felt like a grown up at 16. I'm twice your age and can tell you that looking back I was still a baby. It is clear that you are not ready for marriage. Especially if you consider having a crush in elementary school as "having a boyfriend." That does not define an adult relationship. Please don't rush. There are probably a million reasons that make you search for what you believe is the stability of marriage. (like what you mentioned about your brother and your parents). Trust me, there is very little that is stable about marriage and it won't make your problems disappear. Marriage has it's own set of issues. Relax. Enjoy your youth. You have YEARS ahead of you. Don't rush into marriage. It could potentially ruin your life at this point. Instead focus on you and developing the strength and wisdom to create a life for yourself. Try not to define yourself by this relationship. But discover your potential and focus all your pain and adversity into growing into a grounded, wonderful, and sane young lady. Discover your independence.
2006-07-02 15:07:53 · answer #8 · answered by coco 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First sweetie, your what 15-16.. Dont be fallin in love just yet and dont be getting married.. He dont want to marry you that was his way of trying to make sure you wont cheat or something stupid like that.. Be a teenager and live life... You have all the time in the world for marriage and all that good stuff... If you really need to know. Just be womanly about it and be upfront just ask. Let him know how you feel and if he give you an answer you think is shady then just kick it with him and see other people.. HAVE SOME FUN!!!!!
2006-07-02 11:05:59 · answer #9 · answered by unicorncatering 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Calm down, take a few deep breaths, and take teenage romance a bit less seriously. You are much too young to be worried about getting married. There's way too much in life to experience and do, before you settle down to be a wife and have that kind of responsibility.
If you dig this guy, that's great...but keep it at a dating level until you are of legal age, and know what you really want out of life and what direction you are going...and have made those decisions as an adult...you'll be surprised how your feelings may change as you mature...
Take your time...you're only a kid for a while...then you're a grownup (with their issues and responsibilities) for the rest of your life...
2006-07-02 11:04:17 · answer #10 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I read one of the answers you got,kind of mean if you ask me.I'm only 23 and have a 16 yr old sister...I remember what it was like to be 16,but heres my story. When I was 16 I had my first serious boyfriend,i loved him,when I turned 18 we moved in together and he asked me to marry him..I said yes of course,but 6 months later I met and started talking to this guy I worked with (just talking) I started to really like him and it made me think..really think, I realized I wasnt ready for marriage at all,but I did love him very much. I needed to experience more,I dont believe in divorce and these days its like no one cares,no one really thinks before they take the plunge. Please really think this over,sure get engaged..thats not going to hurt anything,but hopefully you'll have to wait until your 18 to actually get married.If your still together at that time and have had no serious problems,then go for it,why not? I broke off my engagement, I knew he wasnt ready either,he never wanted to talk wedding details and got nervous whenever I tried. That was almost 7 years ago,we stayed friends,I dated about 5 other guys and now I am very sick of it,I'm ready now...please make sure you are too. And guess what....he's sitting right here beside me now,7 yrs later!We own our own house and just bought an SUV yesterday,and are getting married.
2006-07-02 11:58:33 · answer #11 · answered by hotmama 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋