My boyfriend watches porn and it makes me a bit uncomfortable. Am I being unreasonable?

Question

He says that it means nothing, and it has nothing to do with how he feels about me, but I cant help feeling that it does.

We do actually watch porn together, and he certainly doesnt hide it from me at all, we have quite an active sex life too, lol, I think my problem is more with the women in the vids, sometimes I think he thinks they are much hotter than me!!

Answer 1

porn to men is like a woman and her shoes... its not a big deal dont worry

Answer 2

1st are you Christian because that changes everything.
If no or if you are a resonable person as your question illudes, then continue...

I had the hottest wife on the planet, a model and a singer. Unfortunately, she was also quite a nag and as a computer person, I often found myself interested in porn.

My wife was interested in porn before we got married, but as soon as she got her ring; I began to relate toward East Germans from the former GDR. Porn being the smallest example of her putting on the brakes.

As soon as I divorced her for her unwillingness to be open minded and understanding; I began to hear from my friends of her being basically the porn queen and having the best collection of sex toys of all the group of girls.

I would look further at your relationship from your boyfriend's perspective to see if the two of you aren't just growing apart. If you feel you aren't, I would give the porn a try as my ex wife obviously did right after we split. You should go to a place like hustler video where they have a range of porn to choose from. I mean there's a difference between abusive porn and porn where there's obviously a higher level of appreciation for both persons and the acts they are doing (Andrew Blake Productions).

I am always an honest person for better and often worse. Good luck in your relationship! Remember this though, you are the only person who has your best interests in mind all the time. No one else truly has the time at the end of the day to get outside themself enough to fix you also.

His porn may very well have nothing to do with how he feels for you, historically men have the ability to love many women at the same time. Women can do this also, it's just something society doesn't consider an ideal.

Answer 3

As long as he doesn't expect you to do all that stuff he sees in the porn it's ok. A lot of guys don't understand that that is ACTING and those women do what they do cause they are getting PAID. It's not real.

If you can stand it, watch some of it with him. It's a good way to find out what turns him on. But don't compare yourself to what he's looking at. I guess it's just a guy thing and we can't do much about it so relax and don't take it too seriously.

Answer 4

If what you refer to as 'porn' is explicit sex among/between adults, then I think the worst thing it can do is de-sensitize. In other words, if you see death all the time, you become used to it and it is no longer so bad. If you see sex all the time, it takes away the mystery, fun and excitement that two people share. It's like having sex for the first time : a memorable event. If you have sex 10 times a day for 10 years, it will probably become boring. Viewing other people having sex takes away the special experience that two people reserve for themselves alone. Tell your BF and see what his reaction is. Good Luck!

Answer 5

You are most definitely NOT being unreasonable. You should have a straight talk with him about why it makes you uncomfortable, and even if he says it has nothing to do about the way he feels about you, tell him you think it does. If he really cares fro you he wouldn't want to make you uncomfortable. Good luck!!

Answer 6

Hi
You should be very carefull since you are in hot water. Your boyfriend is a stupid sick person. You must be so strong to keep up with this situation. People don't refer to porn if everything with them is normal, so your boyfriend is definately psychologically unstable. If it really doesn't affect his feeling towards you, how come he is still addicted to it. Your best bet is to safe your tears and find someone that considers your feelings. You are not asking for the exraordinary or for something that is beyond someones capabilities from your boyfriend.

Answer 7

If it makes you uncomfortable then no you are not being unreasonable. Talk to him about it and let him know why you feel uncomfortable. Every guy has or will watch pornos, and it has nothing to do with anything you may be lacking. I let my husband watch pornos and even watch them with him at times. Pornos give him an outlet to watch a fantasy, similar to a woman reading a romance novel.

Answer 8

No you're not being unreasonable at all. I would never date a guy who likes porn, even if he says it has nothing to do with you, cause he needs to have respect for girls body's and if he doesn't have that, then most likely he dont have respect for you either.

Answer 9

No, guys are just horny. If you watched porn you would probably understand that he is just watching it to get sexual satisfaction. Its better than him constantly touching you, right? If it really bothers you, then tell him it does and you would feel better if he didn't. But if you are like age 13-17 or 18, just let him watch it, or he will probably get hornier.

Answer 10

Your boyfriend needs to stop being childish. Doesn't he have anything better to do with his time like positive things.

The intersection of pornography and marriage is one of the most problematic issues among many couples today. With eroticism woven into the very heart of our culture, celebrated in its entertainment, and advertised as a commodity, it is virtually impossible to escape the pervasive influence of pornography in our culture and in our lives.

Increased exposure to pornography creates the need for ever-increased stimulation in order to demand notice, arouse sexual interest, and retain attention. In an odd twist, hyper-exposure to pornography leads to a lower net return on investment--which is to say that the more pornography one sees, the more explicit the images must be in order to excite interest. As the postmodernist would explain, in order to "transgress," pornographers must continue to press the envelope.

Pornography represents one of the most insidious attacks upon the sanctity of marriage and the goodness of sex within the one-flesh relationship. The consumption of pornography gives men and women unrealistic ideas of what sex in the marriage should be like. Contrary to the very biblical basis of marriage, the use of pornography focuses on self gratification and pleasure, and can result in a lack of true intimacy between husband and wife.

Answer 11

well if he does it infront of u there is a problem but if hes alone and does it then it means hes really horny, maybe u arent giving enuff sex? either way all guys watch porn no matter who may say they dont, and if they dont and they had a chance they would