I told a girl once...that I'd give her the world...I felt like I was walking on clouds...I ended up marrying her...and the marriage lasted 20 years to the date...and the time...before we divorced...we had two beautiful children...the marriage started going down hill...and then went further and further...and then the love started to go to...you know...neither one of us can change the past...I tried to talk to her, but she didn't have time to listen...then I built a wall...and blocked her out...I started catching her up in lie after lie...and the more it happened...the less I felt for her...till finally there was nothing...and there is a possiblity that my son may not even be mine...I quess what I'm trying to ask is...how do you learn to live all over again... and how do you ever learn to trust someone in a relationship again after putting all your trust in one that you thought was the right one to begin with...I just feel so empty inside and non trusting...What's a man to do...
2006-07-02 10:38:23 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Look, You have identified several componet leading up to your feeling utterly betrayed. Why then can't you impliment this information in your future relationsahip/ relationships? Try becoming more assertive in both expressing yourself and in making sure you are recieving the information from your mate correctly.
One or the other person, in relationships, has to be blessed with experience enough to see to it that the issues do not become clouded, and everything becomes like a runaway train going downhill. Love doesnt "go". Don't you still love her really? What I mean is, we start focusing more things that we don't like in our mates, and focus less on what we love about them. I dont know why exactly because I believe ther are a hundrred culprets. Here is where we lose our battles, present and future. Be aware of your mate, and "know" this is transpiring and "know" That you can shift that focus back to where it should be by reassessing, together, what might be the factors of descention each mighy be contributing. I think that we start to focus on the negativity because we need to feel correct in why we are estranged from our loved one. The biggest mistake of all. Find out together what the need is that is not being recognized. Please don't be defensive and egotistical in your investigation. I bet you'll find out a lot more than you ever knew about your lover. So much so that it may start to feel like the first time you realized you were in love to begin with.
2006-07-02 11:33:42 · answer #1 · answered by lisa l 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must be in your early 40s, right ? Come on now, you've heard the saying, You don't need to run after the bus you missed, just wait, there will be another coming along soon enough.There are no guarantees in any relationship. But if you don't take chances, then you will have missed out on a lot of fun, not to mention finding the right one.You've picked up a bad apple before and threw it away, but you didn't throw the whole bag away, heck no, you reached for another one, you took a chance and got a good apple. Women are a finicky lot to begin with, just be careful, tred slowly. Don't put all your feelings out all at once and you won't get hurt, as bad. Be looking for little signs that tell you which way the relationship is headed. Communication with one another is the best way of knowing where you stand in the relation. Look , seek, find, but don't give up.
2006-07-02 10:54:03 · answer #2 · answered by the sealer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly what you mean. Investing your heart and soul into a relationship. And I honestly don't have a very good answer. We were married 10yrs, engaged for 2, dated for 1, friends for 4yrs before that. How can you ever expect to trust anyone ever again? Like you meet someone after all of that, maybe get married, and 2yrs down the road, 15, 24yrs it could happen again? How can you trust? I don't know, but will look here every now and then to the replies you get, and you actually posted about the same kind of question I was thinking of, but didn't. Take care man.
2006-07-02 10:55:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats sad and i know how you feel. i went through the same thing. Although i wasnt married i was really in love with this person and they betrayed me. they cheated on me and they lied even when they knew i knew the truth they still lied to me saying they were a changed man and that they loved me blach blah blah crap. i mean you just have to move on. your life may feel messed up after someone you put your absolute trust in but for me i am know with someone who deoesn't hurt me and loves me for me and would never try to hurt me. you just have to know that u cant trust anyone because they are bound to break your heart...hope you find the right person soon. you seem really sweet. and with your son. love him because u may never have another. i sure he loves you unconditionally
2006-07-02 10:45:29 · answer #4 · answered by ClarksAngel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm truly sorry to hear that.
Marriage requires both husband and wife to cherish the love.
The husband needs to love the wife like he loves himself, and the wife needs to respect the husband.
The husband ought to love God first and himself before he is able to love the wife.
Come to God, ask Him to strengthen & heal you.
Shift your focus (mind) to God and your children now.
Do not be pre-occupied with yourself (thinking about the pain, the past etc.)
Ask Him to give you strength to start new day, new step and walk,
to forgive and let go your past.
In human everything may be difficult and impossible,
but in God there is healing, power and everything is possible.
Put your trust only to God for only Him is trustworthy.
and be filled with His Spirit.
2006-07-02 11:11:55 · answer #5 · answered by freejoyful 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋