My boyfriend stays in another apartment with his friend who has his girlfriend living there. My boyfriend and his friends girlfriend almost have the same schedule and the same time off. Sometimes my boyfriend often says "oh me and jessica are doing this..we are going to do that". I was talking to him today and he tells me "me and jessica have been hanging out a lot". "she cooks dinner and I make breakfast". So then I say ohh...you must like her?...and he tells me..ohh she is okay. What does all this mean, how do I handle this, its breaking me apart that I can't be there to really be his girl. Im suppose to be the one doing those things with him and it just hurts that she is. I get a feeling that he tries to spend time with her or he looks forward to it....what do I say...just how do I handle this. Then he is telling me.ohh..i think she is washing the dishes..the mess that i made. He said it twice while we were talking so finally I just said well...go on ahead and help her..
2006-07-02 10:15:52 · 22 answers · asked by Priss18 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I didnt say it in a mean way at all. I told him to go on ahead and help her because to me it sounded like he really wanted to. I know I have no control over attraction. DO i tell him how I feel because this hurts?...do i just give him space..Im just trying to be a good girlfriend but there are just somethings i dont know how to deal with
2006-07-02 10:17:16 · update #1
tell him how you feel. just don't do it in a mad way or a way that makes it sound like you think he's doing anything wrong. it is totally ok for a guy to have a female friend. but it is also ok that you feel jealous and threatened. he will probably appreciate knowing how you feel.
2006-07-02 10:20:05 · answer #1 · answered by Gabrielle 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Don't struggle with this that much...you're not married to him. Have you met the girl? Have you been there to see the interaction between them? Well, if not, you should try that. Remember the strong feelings you have for him are just that right now...feelings. Obviously this girl and him have a connection and you just have to accept that you may not be part of that...if he wasn't attracted to her or didn't feel a connection with her, he would make more time to enjoy your company/conversations/etc. They've probably not messed around yet, but the chances of it happening are very likely. Understand that even if you tell him how you feel and make it clear about how you want boundries set...it's likely not going to be the same because they've established a relationship already. Unless he moved out and came to live with you it most likely has not a very good chance of success. Sometimes you just have to know that things are....the way they are. You seem like a pretty understanding girl and a lot of other guys will very much appreciate that...time to see who they are.
2006-07-02 17:25:00 · answer #2 · answered by 1n51ght 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm, he's spending lots of time with her and obviously thinking about her a lot, even when he's with you... There seems to be a strong emotional attachment between the two of them. Could be that and nothing more, but maybe not.
Eventually you need to sit him down and talk about this - tell him how you feel and find out how he feels. Don't accuse - just say "when you do (this)...it makes me feel (this)." Hopefully, that will keep him from being too defensive and shutting you out. Don't be unreasonable in your demands, but he should be willing to make SOME adjustments to his behavior if he is really interested in staying with you.
You may want to start out talking to his roommate/friend. Casually mention something like "Jessica and my BF sure have been spending a lot of time together lately." He lives with them, so he'll be better informed about the situation. If he shares your concern...you might be in trouble. If he doesn't think it's a big deal, then you could be okay.
2006-07-02 17:24:42 · answer #3 · answered by Zarathustra 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well are you feeling as though something else is going on besides washing the dishes? Do you think they're having sex?
If so, don't be afraid to ask...be tactful, but be honest, too.
Could be that living under one roof has made them 'more than friends', and it also could be that it's nothing at all. Try and spend more time with him, talk to him more...
2006-07-02 17:19:54 · answer #4 · answered by gokart121 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel from this question that you're trying to convince yourself to stay with him. Or at least figure out if you want to. Why are you wasting your time? Tell him it isn't working out and move on to someone better. You deserve to be #1 and shouldn't settle for anything less. He sounds like a manipulative person. There are lots of guys out there that will treat you better.
2006-07-02 17:26:07 · answer #5 · answered by vmmhg 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh boy! Me, I would flee! First of all find out if they are really having sex, then I would flee to another person life without telling him or just leave a note to avoid being a missing person. Anyway good luck, sorry not much of a helper because I would need to know how much do you know him and etc.
2006-07-02 17:21:40 · answer #6 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I totall yknow what you're going through. My boyfriend has this "friend" who makes herself a little to available (i.e. showing up at his apartment). I just have to seperate what I KNOW from what I FEAR. What is he telling you? Is he happy with you? are there any other problems in the relationship?
Ultimately, the only thing you are in control of is whether or not you continue to date him. You can't make him stop hanging with her. Once you make that decision for yourself, there is a lot of freedom in it. Then it's your decision and not you feeling helpless.
2006-07-02 17:23:26 · answer #7 · answered by dawubbies 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him about how you feel, but don't accuse him of doing anything...bottom line, nothing is likely to change if you don't communicate, and if you don't have good communication, then your relationship isn't likely to go the distance anyway.
After y'all talk, then you can decide if his answer works for you, if something needs to change, or if it's time to move on. Don't sit and fret over this though, you're making yourself upset for no reason...talk about it, deal with it, then leave it behind.
2006-07-02 17:20:41 · answer #8 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sometime roommate spend a lot for time get to feel alot a like and romance is around the Conner it all way happen
2006-07-02 17:28:41 · answer #9 · answered by john boy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, I wouldn't do what he's doing, because I wouldn't want my girlfriend doing the same. I would consider this situation a lot and maybe even discuss it with him.
2006-07-02 17:18:18 · answer #10 · answered by Nep 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋