Just say something that will make me laugh?

Answer 1

9 Things I Hate About Stupid People

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.
I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours?
Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their a_s_s to search the entire room for the T.V. remote.
Because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too".
Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look".
Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it?
Do people do this?
Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their a_s_s_e_s!

5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?".
No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?"
Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!'.
Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it.
If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

8. When people say "life is short".
What the hell??
Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!!
What can you do that's longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?".
If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?

Answer 2

You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night. You pass by a bus stop, and you see three people waiting for the bus:
1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.
2. An old friend who once saved your life.
3. The perfect man (or) woman you have been dreaming about.
Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car.
Think before you continue reading. This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application.
You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first; or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to pay him back. However, you may never be able to find your perfect dream lover again.
The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble
coming up with his answer.
He simply answered: "I would give the car keys to my old friend, and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the woman of my dreams."

Answer 3

George Bush for Sainthood

Answer 4

BANANA.


Don't ask, use this when you are with a friend. Sometimes I say to a cousin " You are a banana" after I said a million time "banana". We all laughed. Try to find even the perfect moment to say.

Answer 5

birth control was introduced to a village in africa, the men were shown how to put on a condom using a broom handle. After asking the men, they seemed to understand.

After 1year the team tht introduced the birth control came back to find that something was amiss.

When the male villagers were asked wht they were doing they were shown a room with broom handles with condoms on the end.....

Answer 6

Pikle-weasle

Answer 7

ok, this dude invented a beer flavored gum..one night while driving over the speed limit, he noticed a patrol car riding his tail..the dude had recently drank some malt liquor at a party..so, instead of reaching for the mint gum he ate the beer gum and was arrested for under the influence of gum!

ok..that wasnt great but sorta lame-LOL

Answer 8

Moist

Answer 9

Peter: Wake up sleepy head..

Brian: (after cutting camel open) What do you know? A Confert Inn..

Answer 10

I dont think that I could make you laugh,but you should first understand your need then solve your broplem so you can laugh again.