What can you do when you found out your dad is seeing someone else eventhough he's still married to your mom?

Question

Recently my sister found out that my dad is seeing another woman while using his mobile to send sms.She has been keeping this a secret from my mum because it would break her heart very much.As much as I am angry,I just love my dad and I dont wanna loose him.My mom trusted my dad very much and have always been there through storm and sunshine.She simply loves him as they have been together for 25 years now.I need to know what can i and my siblings do to stop my dad from seeing this woman without my mum finding out:(.It breaks my heart to see my mum who doesn't know whats going on and looking at my dad whos pretending as if he's a trustworthy person..Plz tell me what can i do!

Thank you all for helping me out.I am 22years old and my siblings are 19 and 20.I am abroad right now so there's nothing much I can do now but I will be home next week.My sister have confronted him but knowing my dad,he will obviously deny it.He's just like that.We can never ask him anything.He's very immatured in many aspect.Very temprimental as well but not up to beating extend.It's really difficult to talk to him.
I don't want my mom to know because I think it's best for her not to know.
I will wait and see what happens next week.
Thank you again for your kindness and support.I am going through a very hard time now,I can't sleep at night and sometimes,i just get panic attack.I'm just very dissapointed with my dad...I really want us to be together as a happy family we have always been..:(

Answer 1

I think you and all of your siblings should confront him and tell him you know, and tell him how you feel about it. Tell him that if he doesn't stop, you WILL tell your mum the truth! It isn't fair for her not to know!

Answer 2

I think you should tell your dad that you know what is going on that he should tell your mother or you will. They may not stay together after this but that won't be your fault. Your dad is lying and cheating. Your mom deserves to know. My husband of 28 years cheated on me and I didn't know until he told me he wanted a divorce. We did divorce and it was hell. But that is better than living a lie and others knowing when I didn't. My children weren't caught up in this, and I really feel for you. This is a very difficult situation and you kids should not be caught in the middle. If she has a friend who knows, that person could tell her, but somebody has to. She will be hurt because this happenned and not because somebody told her about it. I really feel for you kids and know how hard this must be. Get some help, like counseling. School counselors can help, pastors, friends with maturity. Take care and good luck...it will be a bumpy ride but not your fault.

Answer 3

You and your siblings should get together and have a conversation with dear old dad. If you are all together, he will know that all of you know his secret, and are very displeased about it.

Though mom shouldn't be lied to - it wouldn't be good for one of her children to clue her in. I hope that dad just cuts it out, and gets back to being his "normal" self. Is he going through that "male menopause" type thing?

Sorry to hear that you are having difficulty sleeping, and panic attacks - they are in our family, and definitely very scary.

Also sorry to hear that dad will just deny - this makes me wonder if he has done anything like this before (I really hope not). At the least, he's possibly lied about other types of things.

I wish you the very best, and a safe trip home. Feel free to contact me anytime - hope that I can be of at least a little help.

Feel better very soon, and try to get some help with the panic and sleeping problems (I hope there is someone who can help you abroad - wouldn't want you to be so upset on your flight back).

Answer 4

relies upon if you're both mature how old is the guy too. my husband became 21 after I were given pregnant and that i became 17 and a nil.5 on the time and moved in with my now husband. Now im 22 and we've 2 alluring boys and stay a contented marriage.. Ofcourse I discovered a thanks to practice dinner very youthful and became to blame with the domicile chores. My mom didnt approve our courting yet I didnt care cuz she has continually been a bitchhyyy mom.. My advice to you'd be that u shouldvcome out pregnant

Answer 5

Sometimes things like this are inevitable. I had a similar situation in my life, and it turns out that my mother was happier with her new friend than my step-dad. For me it was nice to see my mom happy for the first time in a long time. I finally broke down and asked my mom and we talked. Maybe you could talk to your dad and let him know that you know. Find out if there is a deeper reason for him being with this other woman. Although your mother has been happy all these years, maybe your father hasn't been. I think you're best bet is to talk to him about it and find out the details behind it all. Moving on may be something your father and your mother need.

Answer 6

Wait until this weekend. Tell your dad you know, go with your sister. Tell him he has 24 hours only to tell your mom, then YOU two are telling her. Dont give him any more time than the 24 hours or he could really screw her in a divorce. Do it on the weekend cause he cant do anything with their money on the weekend. Your mom deserves to know. You may just want to tell her anyway and not tell him. Whatever you do DO NOT WAIT. Your mom could really be screwed out of everything in a divorce here if she doesnt find out quickly.

Answer 7

I feel for you and your siblings. You did not say how old you were...if you are over 18 y/o....ask your father for some of his time away from the house and go someplace in public and ask him about this other woman......may just be a good friend or something that was mistaken. Talk to him and find out what is actually going on. Good Luck!

Answer 8

I did show my mom the proof, keeping it from her will hurt her more. I always tell my friends etc. if you see my husband call me so i can see for myself. Don't just tell her show her the proof. There is so much stuff going on today you don't know what the woman is about. You need to protect your mom by telling her the truth and letting her handle it. Don't get mad if she does not react right away, 25 yrs is allot of time, to love someone. She give him another chance or drop him but either way support her.......

Answer 9

you have a moral obligation to let your mother know what is happening, if you can't tell her, then take her to a place where you can show her, it's gonna hurt no matter what, but, the sooner the better.
why prolong it
your dad doesn't deserve anyone covering up for him
your mom will blame you if she finds out on her own
your mom may already know
your mom may just be waiting this thing out
in any case, you must do the right thing

Answer 10

u need to have a family meeting and bring it to the table...its not right for him to disrespect your mother or the family like that...imagine if your mom catches him how much more pain it would bring to her heart...someone needs to tell her it would probably lessen the pain if it comes from u and your sister before someone else.. and just the family sit and talk it out...but u also need to comfront your dad and let him know that you know what he is doing(u dont have to tell him how you found out, just that you know), and that he needs to tell your mom, let her live in peace,& go off with his mistress and let the family be or get his sh** together and be with the family. he's your dad your not gonna lose him
but as your mothers child have an obligation to her to tell her the truth...gather your brothers and sisters and sit with her tell her comfront her and then decide what the best path is...she might need to just come and stay with one of yah'll for a lil while...she will be heartbroken, but not to be mean she's gonna be heartbroken either way..she's been with this man 25 years. but her pain will come to peace..

Answer 11

Itz really a sensetive question. Anyway iam no expert in that but if you can forget it, it might be some misunderstanding, you may need a spy to resolve things. or you can talk to your dad over this matter. I m sure there is some misundersting as you told your dad loves your mom.