my boyfriend has been distant lately. he tells me that he's going through some rough stuff that he cant talk about right now. but he assures me that he is not cheating on me. in his appearance i can tell that he has been going through some things that are taking a toll on him, but why wont he open up to me? some part of me thinks that he may be using drugs or cheating, but i don't know for sure. we have been arguing a lot and seeing less of each other and he tells me that things will be resolved in his life real soon. i sense that part of the reason we don't spend much time is that i quiz him constantly wanting to know what is going on in his life, then it leads to bad arguments. but when i am just going with the flow he comes around alot and things are great, but i cant help my curiosity about his life. it's all a mystery and i feel that i have the right to know what is going on especially if it is affecting us. right or wrong?what is up with him?do i leave him or stay by his side?
2006-07-02 09:35:41 · 7 answers · asked by karmelwithvenom 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
you need to stay by his side right now more than ever. trust me my boyfriend was like this for a while. dont pressure him into telling you things and dont accuse him of cheating on you when you dont even know if its true. if he says that he is not trust him. there is no relationship without trust. maybe if you stop acting the way you are and wait until he is ready to talk about it he might open up to you. it took me a while too, but once my boyfriend told me his problems i felt so much closer to him and i knew we had took our relationship to the next level. it all takes time, understanding, and someone to be there for you even if you dont feel like saying anything. guys just dont open up to anyone like girls.
2006-07-02 09:41:16 · answer #1 · answered by bambi..♥ 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Talk to him clearly and tell him to share what he is going through. Maybe hes really going through a rough patch and does not want to bother you with his problems. Dont break off with him yet. Give him some space and dont keep hammering him or he'll feel you are getting on his nerves. Just be there for him. If he doesnt want to tell you no amount of cajoling will make him tell. Just be patient. If otherwise things are going great between you two then just give him some time. Your relationship is just facing communication problems and you just need to tackle this situation with patience and tact.
Men do not discuss their problems easily and they feel that it will make them look weak. So have patience. If he is depressed dont ask him the reason for it instead try to cheer him up and steer his mind away from his problems. Once he is comfortable he may start sharing about his problems. If you think that he is using drugs or is cheating on you then you need to ask him tactfully. He may get offended if you ask him straight away and if he is not into all that then a good relationship may come to an end. So be careful in the way you ask.
You may also ask his friends if you are close enough to them about whats going on. But first take that friend into confidence and make sure he doesnt tell your boyfriend that you asked as your bf may feel betrayed. Tell his friend that you are just worried and would like to help him. Dont be hasty in coming up to any conclusions before knowing the truth. I wish you all the best. God Bless.
2006-07-02 16:52:47 · answer #2 · answered by sudjenni 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would give him some space and let him know that if he needs to talk you are there for him. so there isn't any pressure. if he is being honest with you then he will come around if he doesn't feel pressured to spill his guts to you. don't worry and just be supportive. he obviously is a person who doesn't talk about his problems, this is a guy in general. so don't interrogate him just wait for him to open up to you. eventually he will need someone to talk to and make sure you are there to listen to him and be supportive. this is a very hard thing to do, but i think it will help you out in the long run. good luck :)
2006-07-02 16:45:16 · answer #3 · answered by alr@yahoo.com 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like he is going through something that he feels that he cant tell you because he is afraid of how you will react or maybe it is something that he doesnt want you involved in. Dont take it personally, he just needs time to think about his problem and then he will come around and talk about it with you. Just stop pressuring him for the problem and just be there for him and support him, he will come around soon.
2006-07-02 16:47:56 · answer #4 · answered by Bay Area Gal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey! I think that u should just wait for a while and see whta happens. If things get better then try to forget about what happened or if he tells u what happened then try to cheer him up if he's sad. If he doesn't say anything and it doesn't get any better then u should either just let him deal with it on his own or if u think that he doesn't trust u or something then u might need to break up with him. Well...Good luck! I hope everything works out for u!
2006-07-02 16:43:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you assured you he's not cheating just believe him and be there for him when he does want to open up to you. Just be patient and listen to him when he tells you that he is going through be there for him okay this will be okay.
2006-07-02 16:41:40 · answer #6 · answered by wthmassage 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont leave him.May b he needs u,dont quarell wid him. wid time everythin get settel.He needs time to tell u everythin n i think u shld give him.I think he's passin through a bad phase of his life b always there for him,talk wid him,go out wid him.Hope everythin get solved between both of u,beleive him hv faith in him.Best of luck!!!!
2006-07-02 16:44:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋