Is it OK for doctors and parents to tell children and teens they're fat?

Question

There is a medical debate on this: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060702/ap_on_he_me/diet_obese_or_not

I think that avoiding communicating with a child about their health problems, whatever those may be, isn't fair to the child. Children have the right to full medical disclosure! Keeping the facts from kids, in an attempt to not bring up 'anger,' only disempowers them from taking charge of their health....Now in childhood instead of later when it may be too late!

Any thoughts?

Obviously sensitivity is important!!

I would also use the term 'overweight' -- that was the name of the article.

and there is nothing unloving about telling a child they have a health problem...as long as it's done with love and sensitivity

Answer 1

There are many variables. Very young children do not need to be told they are fat. Their diet is controlled by adults and it is the adults who need to be educated to give their children healthier diets. Older children who make their own diet choices should be told, but in a compassionate way and not continuously as some parents do. It is possible to educated in a mostly positive way, as in teaching the child what to do instead of what they shouldn't do. For example, having fruit and vegetables available instead of candy and praising the child for eating them is far more useful than criticizing every time the child makes a poorer choice.
I agree that "protecting" anyone from their emotions is unfair and prevents them from maturing. By the way, it is refreshing to have an intelligent question to answer. Thank you

Answer 2

Children may be sensitive, but they are not ignorant. If they are fat, they already know it, so I don't see any psychological problems coming from telling them the same thing. In fact, children should be told what being fat means for their health and social life, not only now, but in the future. The key, I think, is for the parents to actually be parents. You can't just tell your child that they are fat. First of all, it is the parents' fault, anyway. A child does not have a job and, as such, cannot purchase food. Therefore, the parent must be supplying either too much food or the wrong kinds of food. Secondly, if a child is fat, the parents should be helping the child lose weight by buying healthier foods and participating in physical activities with the child. Some day, we have to face the fact that our constant desire to shield our children from the shame of being called fat is costing them precious years off of their lives.

Answer 3

I know this may sound a little redundant but here's what I think, "I think that avoiding communicating with a child about their health problems, whatever those may be, isn't fair to the child. Children have the right to full medical disclosure! Keeping the facts from kids, in an attempt to not bring up 'anger,' only dis-empowers them from taking charge of their health....Now in childhood instead of later when it may be too late!" ;-)

Answer 4

I don't think they should just say "You're fat" to the kid. They however should address the problem especially if it is a health risk. The parents or doctor if not both should sit with them and talk to them about it explaining why they need to lose weight and how it may effect them in the future. Different approaches should be used for different ages. If they have other conditions adding to their weight problem that should also be addressed not ignored. Parents need to do more to watch what they are feeding their kids and what they are drinking. If they start taking care of their weight problem now when they get older the risks won't be there. Plus they will already be in practice of taking care of themselves.

Answer 5

It's important to tell them indeed. We just need to be careful with our language and be well informed before we say anything. Avoid words like "fat" and "slender", and we should also make sure they indeed are unhealthy.

I knew a girl in high school whose mother was a beauty queen and won all these pageant awards as a young woman, and yet when her daughter started to develop like her father (muscular calves, wide hips), she told her daughter she was fat. It didn't take until years later, that her doctors explained to her that she was quite healthy, and her mother just was uninformed that she just didn't inherit her mother's thin shape and high metabolism. She's probably scarred for life because of this.

Children should know when they're overweight, but it should be worded as if it were a positive obstacle that needs to be overcome - like telling a child they need to raise their grade. You don't say "Get an A, damnit!" You watch them study, you help with homework, you get a tutor - weight loss should be treated the same way by parents with positive conditioning along the way.

Thanks for a stimulating question!

Answer 6

define fat- your idea may be different than someone elses.. FIT (physically active) is a better word and the goal to be fit comes with exercise and diet.. that would be up to the parents to monitor and to consider all aspects of why a child/teen is dealing with weight issues.. counselling is important if there is a psycological issue.. if the parents cannot deal with 5-10 lbs excess weight then THEY need the counselling- kids burn off calories more easily than adults- make them do a few more chores :P ---there is nothing wrong with doctors talking to patients about concerns but keep it in perspective and encourage physical activity which will help all stages of life.

Answer 7

It is important to teach children about good eating habits, but telling them "hey little lardy, you need to drop some weight" might not be the best approach. All children, obese or not should be given information on living a healthy lifestyle and the reasons why it is important. This starts with the parents as their lifestyle choices are more than likely going to be mirrored in their children.

Answer 8

My mom thought I was "fat" when I was overweight as a teen. One day I tried to throw something at her. Fortunately I missed hitting her, but my pride was wounded. When I was 18, I took control and lost weight. But it took a doctor and diet pills to help me. I swore after that that I would never be fat again. And I still am not.

Answer 9

Yes! They need to know.
I'm sick of seeing fat kids all around the country. It's embarrassing for our country!
I'm 5 feet tall and weigh 85 pounds...I lead a perfectly healthy lifestyle and don't see why others cannot.

Answer 10

You tell them they are overweight, you don't say "you're fat!" But yes, it is very important to keep children within the normal weight range with the current epidemic of obesity.