call some one if what makes them happy and complete is to give away the chance for his own happiness with someone, and tell that someone she has a better chance of being happy with a person you hate? that person might be better... or not...
2006-07-02 07:15:31 · 23 answers · asked by toma_calin86 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I love her, but she does no longer love me... that is the problem. should I let her be happy or should I try to interfere with her new relationship. I know I am not making any sense but right now I am a little depressed.
2006-07-02 07:25:13 · update #1
There is no pain like un-returned love; that is to love someone and not have them love you back. A short answer would be, if you love them that much and care for their happiness you will let them chose their destiny and not interfer. It is normal to be frustrated and repressed when someone you have loved for a long while wants to find someone else. However, this is life, and people, relationships and time moves forward. You cannot predict the future or try to manipulate it - so don't try and change something which cannot be changed. If this other guy, as you say, might not be better, then let life show that to the girl, don't make it happen that way; you'll only get burnt and probably hurt more. Love leaves its own scars which will heal in time; to try and force someone to love you or change the person or impression of that person they would like to know will only rub salt in your wounds.
Remember: Nobody owns anybody, we cannot rule or assert ourselves on others and expect nothing negative to happen. History is littered with people who have tried, it only breeds bitterness, resentment and pain. Our minds may be full of memories and the pain it causes us when we think about them, this will fade in time. A love lost that returns on its own is a love stronger then the first love of it.
2006-07-02 07:39:37 · answer #1 · answered by SoulVibe 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The question is whether you think this girl would, indeed, be happier with this other person (rather than you.) The question is also whether you are supposed to make a call at all.
I suppose - if you call and send this girl away from you - you could be "giving away your only chance at happiness" but it is unlikely. In any case, I am not sure how you came into such power. You mean that if you say "go" she will go and if you say "stay" she will stay ? I am sorta doubtin' that. You should not hold her happiness in your hand - that is for her to hold. If she has asked you your opinion, and you two have a friendship that requires you to give it, then - regardless of how happy or unhappy it will make her - you have to give her your honest opinion. (If your honest opinion is that the guy she is considering is a cad, then you have to find someway to tell her that. No need to launch into a He's-the-jerk-of-the-world speech ...I am sure you could find some kind way to tell her your truthful opinion.) Good friends do not tell each other what the other wants to hear. They tell the truth, with kindness.
If you think YOU would be better for her and you have never told her this, then now is the time, buck-o. You can say, "Well, this may come as a huge surprise, but while I know you really like (the jerk of the world), before you commit to him, I want you to know that I really care about you - not just as a friend but I'd like it to be a girlfriend." Whoa, would that give her something to think about or what ?
No matter what you decide - it has to be the truth. The whole truth. And nothing but the truth.
2006-07-02 14:26:05 · answer #2 · answered by two 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as if you are asking whether you should let someone you care about go because they have feelings for someone else. I would say it ultimately comes down to two things:
1. Does this person know that "you" have feelings for them?
2. Do you honestly care enough about the person to let them lead their own life and find happiness?
Part of being mature and to care about someone is to give up your own happiness for them. Sometimes caring about someone is not enough or the relationship is not possible, in which case you need to let them go and be happy.
2006-07-02 14:22:21 · answer #3 · answered by sapientia2010 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The other person might be the right one or not but it is up to her to find that out for herself. If you try to hold on to someone it only makes them resent you. Let her go, you never know, by making that space in your life you might make room for someone else who will come to be even more important to you.
2006-07-02 14:48:27 · answer #4 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love her why would you want to make her unhappy by ruining her new relationaship? What you feel is not love but the need to control someone. Get a life.
2006-07-02 20:55:17 · answer #5 · answered by Katkin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you love someone let them go- yes its a song but its also true. if you let it go and it doesnt come back then it wasnt meant to be - grow up and you might learn that by giving someone else thier happiness ultimately leads to yours
2006-07-02 19:21:57 · answer #6 · answered by middie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really love her, you should make her happy: let her love the person wih whom she thinks will be happy.
2006-07-02 15:08:07 · answer #7 · answered by Rain M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WHAT? let straight in the middle an go round an round anround, that is the question DUH.if its withyou i can see why there not happy
2006-07-02 14:19:58 · answer #8 · answered by cris 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK man you shouldn't let any one take away what you want if you love her don't give up unless the reson she doesn't love you anymore is because you did something relay mest up
2006-07-02 14:57:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if you truly love someone you put their happiness over yours. the problem is today many don't understand happiness.
http://www.biblebelievers.com/AllThis.html
2006-07-02 14:21:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋