because of alot of hassle from her mum after we split, there's been no contact until last year when we had a phone conversation in which she was angry at me for leaving her { quite right too i should never have walked away} she said her mum's husband has been a good dad and does'nt want too see me then put the down, her mum's husband is the one who was having an affair with my wife while we were still together. i have'nt been able to get through to her on that number since, i've sent a letter trying to explain and even knocked on her door do i send birthday and xmas cards hoping one day she'll come around or just leave her to get on with her life, perhaps it's been too long ? ps she's 23 now . i'm anne f's friend.
2006-07-02 06:26:47 · 20 answers · asked by frenchy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
my dad left when i was 11 saw him all the time till he remarried havent seen him for years till my grans funral tried to talk he didnt want to know i would love my dad to be like you and wanna know me whatever happens make sure she knows the truth write it in a letter then leave it up to her
2006-07-02 07:40:28 · answer #1 · answered by crazy chick 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Make sure you have sent her a copy of your address, phone number and e-mail. If there is someone who yourself and your daughter both know, like an auntie or cousin or something, who could also give some support to her, send their details too. As angry as she may be, there will be a lot she wants to know, and it might be easier if she had someone else to talk it over with.
Once she knows where you are - leave it. If she wants to contact you she can. It's very likely she may eventually get over some of her anger, and probably get in touch for curiousity's sake if nothing else. I didn't see my dad for 14 years, and it's not easy getting back in touch. If she does want to be a part of your life eventually, then my best advice is to take it slowly, and look to the future. You must accept from the start, that the time you have missed together has gone, and you can't get it back. All you can do is hope to have some sort of future together.
2006-07-02 06:51:50 · answer #2 · answered by Jazzhands 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sir, if she really didn't want anything to do with you she would not have called. She is hurt with good reason. She has a lot of anger built up through the years. You need to choose your words carefully, send her letters often........not just on birthday and christmas cards............start with flowers and a letter telling her that the biggest mistake you ever made was not being in her life......you hope she can find it in her heart to forgive you for all the pain that was caused and that you will always be there if she wants to talk or become closer.
Keep writing and sending things.........she will come around. She wants to she is just scared and upset.
2006-07-02 08:36:08 · answer #3 · answered by heartwhisperer2000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is an adult now, she can make up her own mind and she can find you if she likes.
Don't go bugging her, she will only think worse of you for it, and the fact that you "suddenly" care will only make her question you.
And if i may say so sir if keeping contact with you child was a "hassle" then she may be to much of a "hassle" now?
No matter what you say to her there is NO excuse for what you did, there is NO way you can make up for lost years, send her a final letter if you must and hope that she learns to forgive you.
2006-07-02 09:15:22 · answer #4 · answered by JennyPenny 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hadn't seen my mom but once from the time I was 13 to 33. On my 34th birthday she sent plane tickets for my family to visit (husband, myself and 2 kids). We stayed for a week. It was nice although a little awkward because of the time apart. It definitely helped with the close support of my husband and kids. Don't give up. Always acknowledge birthdays and special holidays. She'll come around hopefully sooner then later. Time heals everything.
2006-07-02 06:38:32 · answer #5 · answered by aprilc232 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hang in there. She's angry..its been brewing inside her for years. She feels you didnt love her and now she wants you to know how it feels. Hang in there and she'll come round eventually. You owe her the chance to get angry with you but its your responsibility to let her know that you love her. Is there another family member who would give her a letter from you?
2006-07-02 12:34:33 · answer #6 · answered by Jackie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe that she wants nothing to do with you.
You say that there has been no contact for years but she contacted you to say how angry she is.
Be patient. She will call back because she will want to know both sides of the story.
2006-07-02 09:00:54 · answer #7 · answered by monkeyface 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ur question says it all YOU stopped seeing ur daughter. at the end of the day ur daughter is urs to keep not some1 you can walk out on a child needs it parents and when 1 goes the childs head gets messed up. yes you can walk out on ur wife but what did ur daughter do that you walked out on her 2.she is a child who didnt ask to be born a child is for life not for christmas
2006-07-02 10:22:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay u had your problems with ur ex but if your daughter wants anything to do with u just give her time and she will come around as all you know i that she may of been tld different storries from her mum so its comming to terms with the truth and like i say give her time but keep trying
good luck on it
2006-07-02 06:41:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
its very easy in hindsite,to see what you should have done,but that is now not the question,its what you should do now thats the hard part,she has had to grow up with another father,but we all know that you only have one real one,do not waste the chance,and do not be to pushy,send a card,send a letter,and be patient,ken
2006-07-02 06:40:40 · answer #10 · answered by catfordken 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont give up, if she can see your commited and determined she might just give the chance to explain why her daddy left she's only had her moms side of the story
2006-07-02 12:06:30 · answer #11 · answered by Grizley Bear 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋