10. This weekend is Girlfriend Getaway Weekend...We were at a spa resort somewhere here in Jersey. Sharing stories, you know having a ball hanging with the girls. One of the girls shares a story that actually happen yesterday (Friday) morning My goodness!!! Her girlfriend was anticipating the wait of her husband coming home from a long 2 week Business trip in Japan. She told him she had a big surprise for him....Ok, instead of girlfriend waiting in the car, she decides to go in and wait for him at the GATE, at this particular airport you must go through SECURITY, even to wait.....While going through security the alarm goes off, she then starts to laugh uncontrollable, (you know the procedure) they pull you to the side and check you.....while security begins to check her the alarms is really going off at the bottom area of her body..
She's laughing hysterically they're not sure what to make of this, so they take her in a room begin to ask her to take off her coat, she confesses that she waiting for her husband and wanted to surprise him, she states that she has nothing on but a lingerie set also she has a butterfly stimulator on, everytime it goes off it makes her laugh....buzz buzz!! LOL
9. I am the mother of a 15-year old son and as most parents know, at this age teenagers would rather spend time alone in their room or with their friends. My son was in his bedroom with the door closed and I thought he was playing video games. He had locked the door but I thought that it was just to keep his sister from coming in and bugging him. I was doing laundry and needed to put his clean clothes away and noticed the door was locked. I grabbed a coat hanger to "unlock" the door like I have done many times and walked right in. To both our embarrassment, he was "getting to know himself" I was surprised but didn't say anything, just turned around and walked out. I was laughing and went into the living room and told my husband and all he could say was "guess you should have knocked". Needless to say, if his door is locked, I just stay away.
8. Several years ago, I was getting ready for a party, and was all dressed up, since I bite my nails, I had put fake ones on... before I was ready to go out the door, I ended up getting all hot and bothered, so I slipped into a dark quiet room, I think it was a closet, but it locked...so, I started going at it, and finished fairly quickly...Later during the party, I noticed my right index and middle fingers nails were missing... I just thought they had fallen off, it wasn't until hours later, after I had gone to the restroom, I finally found them, inside me, now, I NEVER wear fake nails when I'm gonna masturbate...
7. I think my most embarrassing masturbation story happened 16 years when I was pleasuring myself with my husband (then boyfriend). We were lying on the bed and he was beside me. I had just taught him how to do oral a few weeks before so he was still learning, so to speed things up a bit I decided to touch myself. Well this went on for about 5 minutes or so, finally I came hard as I screamed in pleasure and then I FARTED loud! I was in disbelief. I opened my eyes and there was silence for about a few seconds, and he hesitated because it didn't sink in (he couldn't believe it) and started giggling! I was embarrassed at first but then I chuckled a little too. I am a fun gal and he still loved me after that; he thought it was cute! LOL.
6. After my high school graduation, my girlfriend and I went on a cruise to the Bahamas as a gift before entering college. Well, we engaged in some pretty intense sexual positions and took pictures. As a matter of fact, I took a few photographs of her giving me oral. I'm not going to lie, the pictures were extremely explicit. Here is where it gets embarrassing... Well, before I left for college, I hid the pictures in between my mattress, because who would really look there? Well, I was away at college (about 7 1/2 hours away) with no transportation and my parents decided to tell me they were buying a house in Florida. WEll! My mom packed up my room, and yes, she found my stash of not so pleasant photographs. I was mortified when I found out my mom packed my whole room up, I can only imagine how far her mouth dropped when she saw them!! Sorry about her bad luck.
5. I took some pictures while my fiance' did the deed. It was erotic and sort of living out a little fantasy. I helped him out orally. But it was all caught on camera. I had these pictures of him satisfying himself. One of our older children found some of the shots on the computer. Talk about embarrassing. How horrifying!!! They're all off the computer now.
4. I have a webcam and can be a very bad girl with it. One evening I was masturbating in front of it because I like to see myself sometimes and I don't have a convenient mirror. All of a sudden a guy friend of mine started viewing. He obviously hadn't been expecting to see me like that! I'd had a crush on him for a while, but I'd never made a move or anything. It was definitely a surprise! He still hasn't let me live it down.
3. When it comes to this topic, I don't think anyone can beat me. My freshmen year of college me and three of my friends came home to all stay at his parents house. That Friday night we were out to a bar and ran into a girl I had a high school crush on for years! The next day I woke up to an empty house and a computer screen that said, "You wouldn't wake up, we went to the mall." I got up and showered, with the image of my crush on my mind. It had been a few weeks since I had gotten the chance to release tension. Getting out of the shower I did notice his sisters had a lot of lotion in the bathroom. I went right to it and I thought I was being quiet. But then the house was empty so what did I care? Right??? Well my built tension resulting in a fountain like finish that got me in the eye (Damn those PC muscle exercises!) So I got dressed, came out of the bathroom to find my friends, his mother AND my Crush! Just happened they ran into her at the mall talked me up and all came back so we could do something with her and her friends. I walked out of the door rubbing my left eye and they busted up laughing! What a way to make a good impression. Strangely enough was kinda turned on by it and helped me out later that night.
2. I have an incredibly embarrassing masturbation story for you! A few years ago, I was a single mom and my boyfriend lived in another state...we would often talk on the phone, and sometimes have pretty passionate phone sex and masturbate for one another. One night we wanted to do this, but I had a houseful of pre-teens and no place to be alone, so I got in my car and drove to an empty church parking lot up the street. I live in a very small town and the parking lot was dark and sort of surrounded by trees. Anyway, I was in the front, seat reclined, feet up on dash, my shorts and panties off, getting myself very worked up with my boyfriend on the phone. I was pretty oblivious to everything and on the edge of a very loud orgasm when something penetrated my consciousness...
I opened my eyes to see headlights shining in my window! I threw the phone down, quickly grabbed my shorts off the floor and pulled them on just as a local police officer walked up to my window. He shined a flashlight into the car and looked at me. My face was burning with embarrassment when he asked me if I was okay. "Yes officer, I'm fine, just talking on the phone..." He just smiled, sort of chuckled and walked away... I looked down and saw the 2 most embarrassing things ever... not only were my shorts on noticeably BACKWARDS ...but my panties were hanging off the gearshift!! I started laughing so hard I couldn't even talk, but when I finally was able to explain to my boyfriend...well, let's just say we didn't leave things unfinished!
1. I finally have an outlet for sharing my most mortifyingly embarrassing masturbation story! I've never told a soul, and whenever it comes to mind, 30 years later, I still blush a furious red and give an involuntary giggle.
I was pregnant and having a procedure that required an overnight stay in a semi-private hospital room. The combination of naturally high hormone levels of a pregnancy and the oxygen used during the procedure made for some highly vivid dreams- starring me, of course, and featuring my spectacularly handsome honeybun. The orgasm was so exquisitely intense that it woke me and I found myself wide awake, panting in the darkened room, tangled in a sweat-dampened mass of bed linens.
It was then I heard a little cough from the bed on the other side of the curtain. Oh my gosh....here we go again...the blush and giggle.
http://www.total-knowledge.com/~willyblues/
2006-07-02 05:58:07 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
From; Willys Jokes archieves
2006-07-02 05:58:40 · update #1
Years ago when I was about 16 we got our first video camera. Alone in the house over school holidays I decided to video myself getting off to see what it looked like. It was no great porno movie that was for sure but it was excplicit and showed me going through my whole repetoire, including using my moms Hitachi Magic Wand massager on myself. When I was finished watching the tape back in the home VCR I rewound it and taped over with some TV programme. Later My mother came to see me in my room with the tape in her hand. I had apparently not realised the tape only rewound until the counter got to a specific point and not until all the tape had fully rewound. This ment that several minutes of my play were still on the tape and that was what my mother had just found while looking for a scratch tape to record a programme on. I was shaken to say the least. I was not told off or lectured at but the tone was to be more careful and keep such things private (which was more than fair). To this day I don't know exactly how much I left on the take or if my moth watched it all but one thing that makes me thing she sar a fair bit was the fact she gave me an Hitachi soon after and if she got the idea from me using hers then se saw maybe 30 minutes of my scene. I wish that tape was still around in a way as I'd love to see myself in the not so innocence of youth from my perspective as a 40 something mum.
2006-07-02 21:46:59 · answer #1 · answered by patti_felz 4 · 182⤊ 9⤋
1
2016-06-09 08:31:39 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Masturbation Stories
2016-09-26 00:58:41 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2014-09-15 02:04:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Best Sexual Addiction Treatment
2016-04-24 06:22:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a very interesting topic
2016-07-27 03:39:57 · answer #6 · answered by Marquerite 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well it was a while ago so idk if im getting it 100% right but i remember i was trying to get off in my bed(i was under a blanket) and every time i would start to get it feelin good my mom would come in asking me if i wanted my laundry done or something lol
2014-04-11 16:28:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
that's a tricky question.
2016-08-23 01:01:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
when i was 7-8 i would play with my clit but i didn't know what I was doing and i didn't do it for long and only for about seconds at times. I did it when I was bored and I liked the way the dots felt. When I was 10-11 I was watching a movie or something, I don’t remember what it was but I had seen it many times and I was bored and was only trying to past the time because my sister who was older than me wasn’t home yet and I was waiting for her, my step dad was a drunk and all he ever did was watch football in his man cave and never paid any attention to me but only when he had too. My mother was sleeping because she has night shift and always slept whenever I got home from school. So anyway, I was bored so I started rubbing my vagina. I knew that normal people don’t touch their vagina but I thought I wasn’t normal so it was fine with me. I would pull my clit hood and labia a lot. I rubbed it for a while about 1-3 minutes and all of a sudden I felt a big sensation come over me. I had no idea what the hell it was at all. I knew it felt good and I wanted to see if it would happen again. So I kept rubbing and sure enough it did…. I was shocked because I didn’t know what was going on. So I kept this secret to myself and never told anyone for a long time. I asked my oldest sister who was about 17 at the time why people have sex and she said because they want to and I said why and she said she doesn’t know. So I was so curious what she meant. I kept rubbing myself for a long time. I would say I was going to take a nap so no one would disturb me, then when I was finished I’d come out and they asked why I wasn’t taking one now. I said that I didn’t feel tired anymore. One day I walked into my oldest sister’s room and I saw her rubbing herself too. I immediately walked out and pretended I didn’t see anything. I remember that one day before my sisters came home I would use my play station 2 controller and have it vibrate when riding a thrill Ville off the rails roller coaster. I would place that on my underwear and it would make me feel good fast. Then I watched a video on my mom’s phone off youtube and it had girls playing with toy story toys and making them have sex. They were moaning so I finally figured out why people have sex, it’s because they like the way it feels. I searched “10 year old playing with vagina.” And I found out what masturbating was. Then I searched “I’m 10 and masturbate.” And I found so many articles about kids who touch themselves. I was glad I wasn’t the only one, even though I was probably the only girl at my school who did. I remember reading a story about 5 year old cousins having sex in their parent’s garage and saying to their parents it felt good and they want to do it again. So I asked my sister, why do people have sex? Again, she said I don’t know, and I said I know why. She said why? Because they like the way it feels. She said, yes they do. We moved away later and I got a computer for myself because when I was 8 I had one and I remember my 2nd oldest sister showed me hentai games but I thought they were just for fun and not had anything to do with sex, I thought they were funny because they had hairy parts. I used the computer for playing clubpenguin though. So when I got my new laptop I found porno videos. I watched a black man make love to a old women with saggy boobs and hairy parts. I was extremely excited because I never saw porn before and I didn’t know what sex looked like, I thought that sex was just licking your boobs and buttholes. I saw the man didn’t just place his penis on top her clit so I was confused how she felt good. I saw that he was putting it inside her hole where pee comes from. I was digusted and I tried sticking my finger in my pee hole but it hurt really bad so I stopped and I didn’t understand what made her feel good about it. I was worried that my husband would make me have sex using my pee hole and it would hurt the whole time. Then I found out what a hymen was because my 2nd oldest sister told me what a hymen is and she also showed me porn sites of emo kids having gay sex. She was emo and was into gay things…. My mom finally found out we were watching porn, but it wasn’t from me because I only watched it 5 times, once the old man and old lady, then hentai rape video, and some other things I forget. She found xhampster and pornhub and redtube on our history. I only watched pornhub and redtube but my sister watched xhampster for her gay porn. I deleted them from the history and searched if there’s a way to have it not go on your history. I used google incognito from then on. Later on I finally found out all the things about sex, orgasm, hymen, fingering, clitoris, labia, uteris, penis, balls, sperm, ****, pubic hair, ********, boob job, foot job, rape, anal, ear sex, and even horse sex.
2013-11-20 17:46:37 · answer #9 · answered by Audry 1 · 2⤊ 6⤋
that's some funny stuff
2006-07-02 06:10:55 · answer #10 · answered by grantlilmama 2 · 120⤊ 70⤋