only mothers with 2 kids answer please!!?

Question

i have a son that will be 2 in october, and i am pregnant and my due date is in september- i am worried about not being able to give my son the attention he needs when the baby comes... he is still a baby to me, how do i split my love for two? i am worried that he will feel left out. anyone had the same situation please help!!!

i forgot to mention that the father is not around.

Answer 1

Dont worry, when you give birth, it all falls into place. It feels like you couldn't possibly love another baby the same way, but it's the very same process. Its just in our nature. And a pat on the back for you for doing the right thing and raising the kids on your own. Most people would have gotten an abortion. I commend you because I was in your shoes. My oldest two kids' dad never even wanted them in the first place. I raised them on my own for the first 5 years. Its a hard job being a mother, but the kids will get into a schedule within the first 6 weeks, and you'll do great. I have 4 kids now and a good husband, each time I have another child my heart grows a little more. Good luck to you. If you ever wanna chat..email me at the same screen name.

Answer 2

I have two kids aged 5 years and 7 months. When I was pregnant I told my first son about the new baby alot. He was pretty well informed of the changes by the time the baby came. It seemed like he loved his baby brother so much that he didn't even notice how tired I was. They sort of get used to not sitting in your lap during the last months of pregnancy and so that didn't seem to be an issue at all. Allow your older child to help in any way he can and this will give him a sense of accomplishment and show how big of a boy he is. You'll find no problems at all sharing your love... a mother always brings extra love. Best wishes

Answer 3

My daughter was only 17 months old when I gave birth to her baby sister. I worried the whole time I was pregnant about the same thing. I didn't want to take away attention from her. It will all be fine. I was surprised at how much my 17 month old wanted to help with the baby. Things might change as far as not being able to do everything with your son that you used to, but you'll have new things to do with him now. He'll love it, just keep him involved with what your doing with the baby. It will make him feel important to be in charge of handing you diapers or wipes, and giving the baby its pacifier. You won't have to split your love between them, that's what I thought too. Your love will just grow to meet both their needs.

Answer 4

I have 3 kids. There is 19 months between you 1st and 2nd , and 28 months between my 2nd and 3rd. They are 7, 5, and 3 years old. I am a stay at home mom. I spend all the time that I can with them. I was worried to that I too wouldn't be able to give them the attention that they needed, but I did. I would put the baby down for a nap and spend time with each child. I always found away to show each child special attention. How do you split your love for 2? It just comes naturally. Each child is different and special. So there will be different bonds between you and each child. The most important thing is to always includes the older child in helping with the baby, and praise them or give a special reward for helping. He will do just fine and so will you. Good luck.

Answer 5

A baby is more demanding than a 2 year old. When feeding the baby, read a book or sit on the couch with the older child and let him help. Don't neglect your 2 year old because anger and resentment could arise. I never experienced that because mine are 5 years apart. Involve your older child in everything. Ask him to bring a diaper or wipes, etc. Go to the park, for walks, etc. Do things together and you'll be fine. Like the previous post... I too let my older son pick out the name for the baby. It really gives him a sense of pride to be a big part in the whole thing.

Answer 6

Don't worry about it.Make your 2 year old be apart of everything that you do with the baby from feeding,changing diapers,putting him to sleep and putting the baby clothes on.Make sure to all ways call him a Big Boy whenever he's helping you out or doing things on his own that will show him that Mommy is paying attention to him it will also make the distinction between him being a Big Boy and the baby being a Baby.And of course he's still a baby to you and he in all actuality is still a baby now he just has to mature tiny bit faster.And in a year they both will be running around playing and you will say I was worried for nothing.

Answer 7

it's not too har actually. At first your newborn will sleep a lot and during those times you give your two year old the attention he is going to require. You can also include him in some tasks for the baby so he doesn't feel left out. The first few months where the newborn will sleep a lot will allow your other child to adjust to this new baby. Take it from me proud mommy of an 11, 5 , 3 and two eight months old babies.

Answer 8

I have two boys both born in October, 2 years apart....I was really worried about my 2 year old, but we did a lot of talking in the weeks beforehand. These books really helped:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0517800748/sr=8-2/qid=1151869650/ref=pd_bbs_2/102-6739789-0494518?ie=UTF8

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0688145078/qid=1151869676/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/102-6739789-0494518?s=books&v=glance&n=283155

I felt that it was a perfect age, because at the point the baby arrived, my son hadn't hit the "terrible twos" yet, and was really eager to help out. You can have your older son get you diapers, pacifiers, etc. And, the baby will sleep a lot!! So, you'll have time to spend with the two year old. I also had special toys for the two year old to play with just when I was nursing, so I didn't have to worry about him getting into things. When I was done nursing, we'd put the toy away and only get it out during nursing time.

Good luck!! You will do great, and your son will really enjoy being a big brother!

Answer 9

Showing attention to the older one will be easy at first.
Newborns sleep alot, even if you are holding baby you can have 2yr old sit with you and read, look at picture books, have soft toys that that he can play with next to baby. Doing this INCLUDES him.

When you are changing diapers, let the 2yr old hand the diaper to you..he will feel like a big boy and be proud that he is helping.

You can still do the same activities with him, with baby right there in the pum'kin seat.

Remember to make ALONE time with son with out baby.Just small things like take him with you when you run to the store for bread...leave baby at home, with a neighbor for 30 minutes. Just don't get in the habit of saying, "not now honey, I'm busy with baby - 'always' include him.
It will be easier than you think.

Best advice..keep things as much the same as they are now.. your son won't feel left out, ignored.

CONGRATULATIONS ( I have FOUR! babies!)

Answer 10

It is going to come natural to you. Believe me when you have that new baby you are going to love the two just the same. The older child will understand more if you sit him down and lay the baby in his lap and let him be in on a lot of the caring for the baby. He will feel needed and it will make him love the baby from the beginning too. I promise you if you keep the oldest one involved it will all turn out good. You'll see. GOOD LUCK.