how would i forgive for having my kids taken from me cause the money ran out on my part so they did it out of anger and for causing my mental breakdown which makes it now harder for me to get my kids back i cant even work anymore due to the servere mental state that i am in is there any chance of forgiveness or should i throw in the towel and never look back towards my family
2006-07-02 05:20:21 · 26 answers · asked by impalistic 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
start by stepping up...you have to take responsibility for your own actions at some point...
2006-07-02 05:24:38 · answer #1 · answered by jake78745 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You seem to point all fingers at everyone and everything but yourself. It's not about forgiveness, it's more about taking responsibility.
Responsibility for your actions to ensure your kids do not go hungry, responsibility to make sure the money doesn't run out, responsibility to think logically, responsibility to get mental help if needed,(there are programs that assist you if you have no money). As a parent, you need to set a proper example for you kids and your family. I could guess your family grab your kids not from anger but from fear for their well-being. However, to "throw in the towel" would only justify their actions and would again demonstrate your lack of taking responsibility for your actions and the actions leading up to this moment.
Hell no, don't throw in the towel, get a plan on how you are going to get back on your feet, get responsible and share this with your family so that they can see the new you and the new direction you are taking -But don't expect you kids back until you've met a few of the goals.
Whatever the reason is for this happening to you should not be the excuse for giving up. Kids require dedication on your part to give your every last drop of blood to ensure their well-being.
Now, get to work on a plan to make things right for yourself, the kids and family will follow but be true to this and make that change permanent!! Good luck!
2006-07-02 05:35:12 · answer #2 · answered by tomerasmussen 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first thing you need to remember more than anything is your children. Forgiving is totally different than forgetting. This you won't be able to forget. Please whatever you do, don't forget that forgiving takes time. You, from what I can see, are not in a position to forgive anyone at this point. You will have to take care of you before you can do anything else. Until you settle up with you there won't be an easy way to get your children back. I somehow feel that once you do get your children back and they are healthy and unharmed it will be easier to forgive. I don't think that you will be able to forgive until you get them back. That will start the healing process. And really that's what forgiveness is, isn't it? It's healing. You have to start with you first though. Until then you are basically stuck in a hard place. I hope this helps and I hope things work out for you, please keep us updated.
2006-07-02 05:28:41 · answer #3 · answered by Miss P. Square Pinky Swear 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If these people hurt you this badly, and if you feel better emotionally, mentally and physically without them being in your life, then why on earth would you mend fences with them?? Believe me hon, I did walk away from my family as they were way too negative and judgmental for my taste...I've never looked back and I've never regretted that decision. It was the best thing I ever did! Just because you are born into a family doesn't mean you have to keep them. Family is supposed to love you unconditionally and to be in your corner and supportive. Doesn't sound like your family meets this criteria. Do what is best for you in the long run. You don't need this kind of emotional and mental drain on you.
2006-07-02 05:45:33 · answer #4 · answered by auntcookie84 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pick yourself, up dust yourself off and make a new start. I would like to suggest you read a great book that helped me, the book is Why People don't Heal And How They Can by Caroline Myss, PHD. She also has another book Anatomy of the Spirit, they are both good books. The books talk about why it's so important to let go of past hurt and anger in order to heal yourself. Believe me this small step will take you leaps and bounds on the path of healing.
2006-07-02 05:41:28 · answer #5 · answered by Nicole 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I sure think that Your family has done things that are absolutely ghastly.... but if you do the same things that they have done to you.. then there would be no difference between you and them. I am sure that somewhere behind their mind they do fear that you would backlash at then.. and probably be very mean to them... but you really dont have to be that.
I know that the hardest part is to forgive, especially a family from whom you expected support. But its probably the most intense act of being a human being.
Try to move on in life- I am sure that you would find something worthwhile to do,and there is always a job for everyone.... you just have to look.
All the best.
2006-07-02 05:31:19 · answer #6 · answered by Sakshi C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear that, my dear. Is there any avenue for you getting volunteer/charitable/help organisation help? I'm in no position to judge or offer my view on who's right or wrong. But I hope you will get your life back on track. Don't worry, you have been well and up before, so you can do it again. I'm pretty sure your family still loves you, and you still love them. Otherwise they would not want to "take" your kids away to provide a "better" life for them, and you would not be bothered enough to want to write this help question. I'd suggest you get in touch with your priest/pastor if you have one, they will be most willing to help in any way they can. Sir, it is hard, it will be hard, but hang in there, cos something that is so precious and valuable as your family and kids is worth the struggle. I pray for you and your family. I will wait for the day you come on line again to tell the whole cyberworld that you and your family and your kids are one again! Sir, take heart and go forth, ok? God bless!
2006-07-02 05:32:37 · answer #7 · answered by Philanthropist 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't! You can still be on a civil basis with your family members - civil but distant. There is, however, no requirement for you to forgive. This forgive nonsense has gotten out of control. Everywhere you turn these days people tell you that you should forgive those who have wronged you. I disagree. Forgiveness is reservered for very special circumstances not the willy-nilly stuff everyone thinks it should apply to these days.
2006-07-02 05:26:58 · answer #8 · answered by top-down 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please remember that you can forgive others for the things they've done to you for yourself, to help you move on, without stepping back into the situation if it is not healthy for you. If your family has not changed it's attitude towards you, you do not have to subject yourself to their maltreatment of you. For your own sake, let go of the anger and move forward. It's wearing to try and hang on to negative feelings. That does not mean that you forget what was done, and leave yourself open for more heart ache. Be safe and take care.
2006-07-02 05:30:53 · answer #9 · answered by colorados_lost_rose 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are blaming everything on your family. Do you not take responsibility for running out of money. Did you not have a job, why not? Alcohol, drugs, just didn't care. McDonald's is always hiring.
I may feel some empathy but you just want to blame everyone else.
Your other question makes you sound like a single father. WHich is it?
2006-07-02 05:25:14 · answer #10 · answered by starting over 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your money ran out, you must have been expecting them to take care of you and the kids. I don't think they can that's why they had your kids taken away. You have to decide if you can forgive them. Remember to live for now.
2006-07-02 05:23:54 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋