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on this but they keep asking when is he coming home i am a good mom and never thought about dating other men or going out having fun with friends i have dedicated my life to my boys and my job i just never thought my life would be raising our boys alone i have family but they are down south i live in michigan but do not want to rely on family to help me through this please help me try to explain why there dad is not coming home

2006-07-02 05:14:00 · 6 answers · asked by robin488462000 2 in Family & Relationships Family

6 answers

There are some wonderful children's books dealing with this very thing.

Douglas, E. wrote "Rachel and the Upside Down Heart". When Rachel is four years old, her daddy dies, changing her life forever. At first, Rachel feels so sad it's as if her heart is upside down. This is the true story of how Rachel rediscovers happiness while keeping the memory of her father alive in her heart.

Cosgrove, S. wrote "The Dream Tree". A playful, sensitive story of a caterpillar's transformation into a butterfly. Though this story is one of change, not death, it can be used as an analogy or with children who may not be ready for more concrete stories about death.

Lanton, S. wrote "Daddy's Chair". Following his father's death, Michael protects Daddy's chair "so he can sit in it when he comes back." Excellent reinforcement is provided for preschool age children about what dead means. The story also describes the Jewish observance of shiva. Eventually, Michael begins to come to terms with his father's death and sits in Daddy's chair whenever he wants to think about him.

One of my favorite stories, Wilhelm, H. writes "I'll Always Love You". This warmly illustrated picture book sensitively portrays the close relationship between a boy and his dog. As the years go by and the young narrator grows taller, his beloved companion, Elfie, grows rounder and slower. And then, one night, Elfie dies in her sleep. Grief-stricken, the boy takes comfort in the fact that every night he told Elfie, "I'll always love you."

And one you might not expect is "Charlotte's Web" by E.B. White. Charlotte, the spider, and Wilbur, the pig, become loving friends. When Charlotte dies, Wilbur holds her memory close and takes care of her children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. The story describes the sadness and sorrow experienced by loving friends and how memories are kept alive.

There are many many more out there. There are also some great ones for you, too. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Take comfort in knowing that you will see him again. He is walking in streets of gold, watching you and your kids.

2006-07-02 07:16:45 · answer #1 · answered by Billie W 2 · 6 0

1st let me say i am sorry you have to ask this question and my thoughts are with you and your family
this is so difficult to answer i just think you must be a very Strong woman
as you have told them before that there daddy is is heaven
and they don't understand
maybe would it help if you took them to were his body lays
and explain that daddy is not there but that's were you place your flowers because he is up in heaven looking down and taking care of them from there try and explain he wont be there in person but he is looking down on them and he will aways be doing that
you could say that his body is in the ground but his spirit is up in the sky
you could say that his body was just a over coat to keep his spirit warm
i don't no if this would help at all
but i have thought long and hard over this question i do hope it helps in some small way
keep Strong
respect
shaz

2006-07-02 12:30:01 · answer #2 · answered by sharon B 4 · 0 0

When I was 5 years old, my grandfather died. I saw him lying down with his eyes closed. I was told he died and will not come back. I don't feel missing him, nor did I cry. I was just too little to understand the loss of a loved one.
You can tell your kids what is the real case. Although they're young, they'll understand more as they grow up. But no need to make any stories. They can take it easy, don't worry too much.
It's ok to tell them no matter they understand or not.

2006-07-02 12:27:08 · answer #3 · answered by Timeless - watcher 4 · 0 0

Just explain as you have just done. Tell the truth. That is the best, it will be a hard blow. Unfortunately, they won't be the first to ever loose a father and they won't be the last. All the best to you.

2006-07-02 12:25:36 · answer #4 · answered by winona e 5 · 0 0

just tell them straight up..keeping them asking every now and then will make their emotion worse..they are still young so you dont have to worry about them hating you because they tend to learn easily (if comparing to a teenager)..kneel down to their level and look them in the eye..say that daddy is in heaven and is never coming back..but he will always be with you..he is watching us now..dont worry bcoz one day you will meet him again...something like that..and its good that you are devoting your life to your children but i dont think your children will be as happy as you thought they are going to be..they wanna see their mama happy...you should go out with your friends sometime. you can date other men when they are ready..if you are happy with your life then that is when you portray true happiness to your children..and belief me..im 18 and ttheres nothing more that can make me feel happiness as to when i see my parents are happy..take it from a teenager like me..its better you enjoy life's challanges, that is what makes you are successful single mother...gud luck!

2006-07-02 12:28:43 · answer #5 · answered by nat_reyou 2 · 0 0

Tell them that he has gone to heaven but he still really loves them.

2006-07-02 12:28:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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