What should two people consider before having children?

Question

What should two people consider when having children? Should they know how much it would cost to raise a child appropriately? Should they consider what they currently earn? Should they be married? Should they consider the opinions of their parents? Should they both have quit smoking? Should they consider if they have some inheritable (minor or major) disease?

Answer 1

Yes on quitting smoking or any type of drug or alcohol if addicted to it. As long as you are both older than 18 and aren't going to pawn the child off on your parents to raise, then its not a decision they should have a vote in. You'll never totally be ready for a kid money-wise unless you are a millionaire, so just plan carefully. Will one of you stay home, or will both keep working? Can you drop to 1 income? Statistically, 1 income families are often better with their money because they budget better and shop wisely. If you both plan to work, then consider the person's income that earns the least (usually the female). Take that income and subtract daycare fees, gas to and from work, and work wardrobe. How much is left over per week once all that is gone? Is it worth working once you see what will actually be made per week? Are you living paycheck to paycheck? If so, start learning how to put money in savings, even if its only $10 per paycheck. Once you can bank $50 per week, you have enough for a kid. So keep getting better with your money, or decide to start trying for a baby. But the better you and your partner agree about wisely spending the money before a baby, the easier it will be later. I'd also suggest talking about how many kids you want BEFORE she gets pregnant. When you get done, then consider vasectomy or tubal. Its the only true form of stopping, except anstinance.

Answer 2

Yes, all of the above. Also, if both individuals work, babysitting options and expenses should be considered. Are the parents prepared in case the baby isn't born healthy? Will the potential child's religious upbringing (or not) become a problem? Is their housing large enough and in a school district that they'd want to raise their children in? Any pets that may prove a problem? Good luck and best wishes!

Answer 3

All of the things you mentioned should be considered. I would also evaluate the relationship. How long have they been together. I recommend being in a relationship 3-5 years before marriage. Then be married for at least 3 years before bringing children into the picture. It doesn't hurt to wait, adopt a pet from the pound.

Answer 4

I believe all those things are good things to consider, yes........but what you have to remember is that it's highly unlikely that all those things will be "ideal" at any one given time, and should not necesarily stop you from having a child. When my first husband and I got married, we never felt all those things you mentioned were perfect. We didn't seem to have enough money, I didnt' have my ideal job yet, etc. But if we had waited for the "perfect conditions" they'd never have come......and neither would my kids.

There's never enough money it seems to have kids, but somehow you make it by anyway. Inheritable disease is certainly something to think about if its major......not the usual things that can't be avoided.

Yes, and be ready, as a couple, for your relationship to change. Be sure you have a good foundation.

Answer 5

There are so many things to consider, but know this, once you have a child your life is no longer yours. Everything you do from that point on must be for the child and not your self or your spouse. What you do, where you go , vacations, time with friend,everything. If you truly are ready for children the money and everything else won't matter, just your love for a child is all you need.

Answer 6

i dont know if everyone is completely ready to have kids when they do. Everything kind of works out. To be financially stable and happy in life is a big one. Its good to be married or in a really stable relationship with someone, to be good role models for the child. You should not smoke around a baby or when your pregnant, it can have a negative affect developmentally on the baby. You can get tested for inheritable diseases if its a consern to you. You just need to feel stable in life and confident in your decisions.

Answer 7

All these are good! You should consider the financial and mental readiness of both parents. A child needs a stable, loving and safe home. Both parents should be absolutely sure they can provide these things for at least 18 years...

Answer 8

Well, first of all you have to consider finacial well-being. can you afford a 20 dollar pack of diapers every other week? a month's worth of formula is near 90 dollars (trust me) if you go that route. do you have the time to spend? children are not like pets. you have to change diapers and feed constantly. can your house be baby-proofed? can you afford day care? if you want children, do it now. as each year passes, having children is becomming more expensive. oh and another thing, experts are saying now that second hand smoke is a cause of S.I.D.S. (sudden infant death syndrom). if you are wanting a baby, definatly stop smoking.

Answer 9

Being able to raise it financely and having enough room is very important also the history of both of your health and sickness in your families

Answer 10

you really need to see if you are emotionally stable....if you go to babycenter.com it will estimate how much it will cost you to raise a baby from birth to 1 but you just need to think about your own lives and how a child would change that