okay so check it out! jesus died and was ressurected? but by what? by god? no. perhaps he wasnt dead! perhaps...bu i think if he existed he was...no thats not the answer...the answer is Solanum. what is solanum? a chemical that turns men into zombies!
holy crap! so if jeus died...and was ressurected...and WAS the son of god...then jesus is a zombie...in HEAVEN! fall to the floor and babble christians! for heaven is destroyed by a giant horde of zombie ghosts and angels! the white ivory towes have collapsed and god lies in a pool of his own blood, thorat ripped out and chewed away. those new arrivals in heaven are devouered away and consumed by the dead undead! hell has become the last refuge of the angels! those who sin are saved, those who are saved are doomed!
all hail, zombie jesus!
id like to thank max brooks, the entire community at allthingszombie.com and ...thats pretty much it.
2006-07-02 00:46:15 · 17 answers · asked by johnny_zondo 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
dude guys, this is a parody...im joking...4Am fun...im not seriosu...just sleep deprived.
2006-07-02 00:54:57 · update #1
Ok take your meds and go lay down for awhile.
2006-07-02 00:50:56 · answer #1 · answered by djmantx 7 · 6⤊ 0⤋
First you ask the question if Jesus was resurrected. Then you question if God did it.
You arbitrarily said "no", as if you really know. So your whole premise is Jesus did not resurrect. Now prove it. This is where you failed. You start off your whole rant with "perhaps". Yes, PERHAPS proves a lot of things, doesn't it?. Look, I don't care what you believe, but at least show some intelligence and prove your premise with a better logic than just PERHAPS. What really makes me shake my head is that you attempt to pass off your PERHAPS as legitimate proof. Sounds like you read some book you liked and got excited. Amazing. Believe anything you read if it agrees with your leanings no matter how bazaar? The only litmus is that it says what you want it to say? Good grief. They really are dumbing down our kids. Critical thinking and common sense are not so common any more. At least give me an atheist that can think critically. That I respect. This drivel is pathetic.
2006-07-02 08:15:15 · answer #2 · answered by pshdsa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't read the bible I can tell. If you do you missed the part where they stuck the spear in Jesus side to drain all the blood from his body to make sure he was dead. He hung on the cross for days, which was the custom back then. And yes he is alive today in heaven, and would like to see you saved from a burning hell. So ask for forgiveness, and believe. GOD bless you and help you to see the truth.
2006-07-02 07:56:55 · answer #3 · answered by laurelbush28762 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is one possibility. I would sooner say that the whole thing is mythology and Jesus was never crucified in the first place. He was constantly talking about the "dead" rising and how he would "rise from the dead" but he only meant spiritual death. This is a good one...
"You poor idiotai, said the Gnostics [to the early Christians], you have mistaken the mysteries of old for modern history, and accepted literally all that was only meant mystically."
You know how most Christians take things literally? Well it's like that.
2006-07-02 07:58:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Solanum is a fictional virus in the comedy fiction book The Zombie ...
Jesus is real.
2006-07-05 10:06:27 · answer #5 · answered by Moma 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're argument has no basis of logic or coherence. I would expect more from an atheist, in the scientific realm of how Jesus may have been resurrected.
I feel we are all a little less evolved now for listening to it.
2006-07-02 08:09:54 · answer #6 · answered by Joe Carioca 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
by your arguement then, God would become a zombie, which would cetainly explain the crappy state of the universe, but to answer your question no your hypothesis is false as God is way more powerfull than zombies and would have cured Jesus on his return to heaven, taking great care not to get bitten!
2006-07-02 08:00:01 · answer #7 · answered by mick69 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the Zombies were a 60's rock group. She's not There was their most famous song. I don't recall if Jesus was a member.
2006-07-02 08:00:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sir, you tread on very dangerous ground. You mock God and His Gift to us. Jesus is NOT a zombie. He is very much alive. I know this because He lives in me. His presence is very real, not fiction, not imagination.
How very sad for you that you choose to reject Jesus with such great animosity and mockery. You sir, have chosen death over life.
Sad sad sad.
2006-07-02 07:59:17 · answer #9 · answered by NONAME 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, the background of your hypothesis does not take into account known facts and it included a number of pieces of specious information.
Have a look at the gospels again with a fresh look and read what happened.
2006-07-02 07:56:35 · answer #10 · answered by Buzz s 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Someone said...
"Sounds like you read some book you liked and got excited. Amazing. Believe anything you read if it agrees with your leanings no matter how bazaar?"
A wonderfull example, The Bible, it's a great book with too much of a cult following.
2006-07-07 05:26:12 · answer #11 · answered by LORDMIKI 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋