what can i do with 4 kids and a husband that expect everything done for them without lifting a finger 2helpme?

Question

My kids and husband expect everything to be done for them and if its not done to what they expect they run me down infront of friends and family im at my wits end someone please head me in the right direction so I dont have a breakdown.

Answer 1

It's great that you can multi-task but your forgetting one important thing-----YOU! Selfishness isn't something we want to teach our children, yet you play an active part in yours learning the trait. You need to stop and stop now. However, you need a plan. I wouldn't expect them to roll over and cooperate. It will not be easy but you need to stick to your guns, the message has to be clear that you mean what you say and there is no compromise. Get what you want straight in your mind and then work on getting it straight in theirs. I'd start with your husband.

Answer 2

Simple, stop doing anything for them. It will be hard but it might be the only way to get your point across. That's very selfish of your husband first of all...and I'm sure that your kids have not been taught to help you out either, but it's mostly both of your faults though. You are just as much an enabler as your husband if you let them treat you like thier servant. Its one thing to do those things and know you are appreciated, that makes you not mind doing the brunt of the work, but when it's outright unnappreciated and there is no respect that is a whole other story. If they belittle you in front of family and friends walk away, dont give them the power to treat you this way. You teach people how to treat you...reteach them.

Answer 3

Speak Up and let them know you are not a maid. I have four kids and a husband and I can't imagine them sitting here thinking that I'm supposed to do everything for them. You need to teach your children to be self-sufficient or they will sponge off of you their entire lives and won't think nothing of it.

My 11 year old cooks certain things (of course with supervision). I make them all pick up behind themselves....our living room is the first room in the house everybody comes in and drops their shoes, coats, bookbags etc....I call them right back to pick that stuff up.

Girl you better speak up or you will be a basket case.

Answer 4

Sit your family down and set some boundaries. And stick to them. Your doing your Kids a disservice by doing everything for them. What are they gonna do when they move out and your not there to do everything for them? Or worse they'll just never move out. I met so many adults who are lost in adulthood because their Mommies did everything for them. You need to teach your kids independence. They will hate it now but they will thank you later in life. Even if their young make them Pitch in & help so they know 1. How to cook, Clean and take care of themselves and 2. Your not their slave your their mother.
And your hubby should be ashamed himself.

The worst thing you can do for someone is something they can do for themself

Answer 5

You can try going on strike, it worked for me. I hung a hugh sign off our balcony announcing that my family was lazy and selfcentered and I was on strike til further notice. Took about two days before they realized I was serious and another day for them to start doing things for themselves. Now I have one day a week that I am expected to do NOTHING while they take care of the house.

Good Luck.

Answer 6

the best thing for u to do is sit everyone down and have a good ole family talk. lay down some rules and let them know exactly how you feel. if you don't put a stop to it now, especially with the kids, it will only get worse in the future when they get older. i have seen it happen with friends of mine and now their grown kids expect her to do everything for them. she helps pay their bills, they expect her to give them money when she gets paid and she even got clean her daughters house at times. her 2 grown sons are back living with her and one can't seem to keep a job and she keeps supporting him. please gain control now b4 things get any worse.

Answer 7

get a nice job, that u like, even for little money, then u've less time for serving ur kids and husband...and u r doing something for ur own self.
then make holidays...
or have fun, get inside ur kids rooms, leave there things, or dishes... make chaos...invite ur kids friends and cook some horrible food... color their dresses in the washing machine... become friend with their teachers... and major thing, have fun.

and if they are not caring about, to make u down at all... even in front of friends and family... then it is time to kick their a..
stop being a victim, do it for ur kids and ur husband...

Answer 8

tell them you are going on a summer vacation just like you did in school supply them each with a chore and duties list and tell them they have to do all these things as you are on vacation about a week or 2 they wil get tired of doing it them selves and be a lot more inclined to not be as bossy and persnikity as to them running you down in front of your friends...put a stop to that by telling them" its no longer your job you are big enought to take care of this"...quit being a doormat and take back some control of your life

Answer 9

Don't go shopping or do any cleaning for a week, then take a weak long trip to a spa or something. When you leave they will be out of food and clothes and dishes, and they will have to fend for themselves. See how they survive.

Answer 10

Tell them it doesn't work that way. You are not their slave. If they want a clean house they will have to pick up after themselves and get things for themselves. And if they run you down in front of people, say "I don't do it for them because they are lazy and capable of doing it themselves.

Answer 11

Stop doing it and NOW! Assign duties to your children and if your husband won't help, then quit "working" for him. Believe me, when something doesn't get done, they will notice and start helping out!