i said my friend could stay at my house for a couple of days as she had to leave her uni accommodation - now she's moved ALL her stuff in, hasn't got a job and isn't paying me any rent or bills and it looks like she intends to stay the entire summer and beyond. i'd feel really rude telling her to move out and i don't know what to do
2006-07-01 23:50:29 · 21 answers · asked by monkeynuts 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
.well darling -from a women who's been there . you have to be straight -up. say , hey two day or I'll remove all you things cause my house is not a flop house. girlfriend do it or you will be so taken advantage of you'll end up hating her. I'm so serious. Also never do for free anything for your Friend or family, they will take total advantage of you. Word from the wise.you may not like it or want to confront them, but if you don't you will suffer and no one else to blame but yourself
2006-07-02 00:03:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 23⤊ 5⤋
On the contrary, she is RUDE for moving all her stuff into your place. She is using you and taking advantage of you. What is worse is that she isn't paying you anything for her stay with you.
You are not obligated to allow her to remain with you - and so you should tell her that you wish for her to find other accomodations since you told her that she could stay for a couple of days. If she refuses to leave, then insist that she has to pay her way and if she won't, you'll have to call the police on her.
It may sound harsh, but you are under no obligation to take care of her - she should be taking care of herself.
She is truly not a friend for doing what she did to you and I would suggest that once she moves out, that you have nothing more to do with her.
Good Luck!
2006-07-02 06:55:01 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give her a deadline to sort herself out - ie she better get a job and pay you some money, or else she should find somewhwere else to go. Don't be afraid to hurt her feelings - she obviously doesn't care that she is hurting yours. Be firm. I kept someone for a year before I had to kick her out, and it was not pleasant but she left. Hangers on are always ungrateful and they mess up your life - not worth the bother if you want your sanity.
2006-07-02 17:03:00 · answer #3 · answered by Princess Lueji 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
only you can set the ground rules. The saying is "He who had the gold makes the rules". That applies to you. Give her an ultimatum. Find a job and contribute or find somewhere else to live. Friendship doesn't pay the light bill.
2006-07-02 06:54:57 · answer #4 · answered by D baby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately with this type of scenario you have very little choice but to confront the situation head on. If you don't it will get worse and could affect your future.
Sit down with a list of "house rules" and put a date deadline for your friend to sort themselves out and move on. It will be best for both of you. Don't be emotional!
2006-07-02 07:12:48 · answer #5 · answered by Ian C T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remind your friend that the arrangement was temporary. Can't she go to stay with her family over the summer? If not, you need to tell her that she needs to get her own place. She could probably get a summer job. Good luck with this. You'll have to be firm with her.
2006-07-02 07:00:44 · answer #6 · answered by Emma H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Simply tell you you can not afford to keep her up. Pay up or move out. Tell her you never knew it was a perm situation anyway. I did this and you would be surprised how much more the untility bills are with 2 instead of one. not to mention food etc.Be firm.
2006-07-02 06:55:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When she goes out change the locks, after a few days on the door step she will get the hint or swap your door number with your neighbour
2006-07-02 16:31:12 · answer #8 · answered by razzledazzle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Serve her with a pay or quit notice....
really though tell her how you feel and let her know you don't have a problem helping her out but you have to be able to take care of yourself too.
2006-07-02 06:54:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if this person is truly your friend don't feel bad setting ground rules and expectations, you'll be doing them a favor the sooner they realize they can't take advantage of others the better they hopefully will get there s**t together do not enable this person or your contributing to teaching this person on how to be and have loser behavior traits DO NOT FEEL BAD YOUR DOING THEM A FAVOR
2006-07-02 07:06:01 · answer #10 · answered by jedjgri 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just flat out tell her, u kno if ur staying with me for a while u need to find a job, and pay rent. I cant be paying the bills for 2 im sry. And see wut she has to say.
2006-07-02 06:55:56 · answer #11 · answered by Hrscrzy4 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋