i want to hear a funny story whoever has the funniest gets 10 points!!?

Question

that last one was just sick!

Answer 1

Two Marines walk into a bar, they spot an Army guy wearing a shirt that says " I hate Marines". The Marines walk up to the Army guy and say "what does that shirt say?" The Army guy replies by saying "that's the first thing I hate about Marines, they cant read." The Marines, who are now furious then say "what did you just say?!" The Army guy sighs and says "that's the second thing I hate about Marines, they cant hear." The Marines, who are now enraged then grab the man and say "that's it, lets take this outside!"

Five minutes later the Army guy walks back into the bar unharmed, the Marines nowhere in sight. The bartender, who is confused asks the Army guy.."what happened to the Marines?" The Army guy laughs as he takes a sip of a beer and says "that's the third thing I hate about Marines, they bring knives to gunfights."



ps..mail me if it gets 10 pt ^_^

Answer 2

My ex-girlfriends cousin's name is Dirky. He is in his early twentys, and has an IQ to low to test for. Dirky can't talk or communicate, but he grunts and makes weird noises, weighs about 275lbs, and is prone to temper tantrams. When Dirky hit pubirty, he also realized that sertain parts of the body feel realy good when rubbed. Eventually, they had to layer his clothing and keep an eye on him, because he would strip down, and start masterbaiting. But Dirky would never climax, he just pulled on it until it got so sore that he would leave it alone until it healed. Then, Dirky made the association between rubbing himself, and soft stuffed animals. His mother had to throw away most of Dirky's stuffed toys, because a hole would get torn in them, and eventually, an odor would develope. One day, no one was watching Dirky, so he escaped into the back yard. A little while latter, the neibor came over to ask if anyone had seen her poodle. They said they hadn't seen the dog, then decided to check on Dirky, who they thought was asleep. When they discoverd Dirky not to be in his room, they searched the house with no luck. So, they looked out the back door window and saw Dirky facing away from them, on his knees, with his pants off. They ran outside to get him in the house before the whole neighborhood could see him masterbating. When they got to him, they found that he had a bloody ball of fur in his hands, and blood all over the front of him. The dog didn't survive. And that is the story of why my ex-girlfriends mentaly handycapped cousin was instatutionalized.

Answer 3

I'm driving my Jeep with a friend of mine riding along. As we head into the tunnel under the Van Nuys Airport he starts freaking out, going ballistic, trying to open the door in heavy traffic, endangering both myself and him. I try to keep the car steady while pulling him back inside.

When we leave the tunnel he settle down, acting as if it never happened.

I'm not a psychologist but I've got to tell you: this has to be the worse case of 'Carpool Tunnel Syndrome' on record.

(I know puns suck. But what can I say? I wrote this stupid thing.)

Answer 4

I have a story. I was returning some DVDs from the grocery store where I rented them from. I could not watch one and told the guy behind the counter. He informed me that he could clean it and rent it back to me free of charge. I agreed and he prepared to clean it. He had one of those hand held cleaners that you have to turn yourself. Well I was with my sister in law, I tunred and whispered so softly "looks like masturbation, just see how long you can go". We both laughed. She then looked at the guy behind the counter and it was evident that he heard, judging by the color of his face. I was so embarassed that I hid. He gave the DVDs to my sister in law stating "in your dreams". I am not sure who was more embarrassed. Then two days later I got a note in the mail from him saying he really enjoyed the laugh and thought about it all night. He also enclosed 2 free movie rentals. I still cant believe that he heard me.

Answer 5

once me any my friendlike boobs on our friend's shirt then on the back we dew 3 boobs and a butt with her havin a . and on the front we drew a dick and then we wrote i love asses like tommy tran's and mrs. tommy tran (he is a boy our friend likes) and then the next morning she had to go home

Answer 6

here there is a lol who is spending her 5 pt's just for asking such a brilliant question[?] .

Answer 7

my dog is peeing at this current moment.