My parents are going through a divorce..Because they both can't seem to trust eachother..I am nineteen years old and married..and people seem to think that the divorce won't affect me or it doesn't hurt me as well as the younger siblings..Does anyone else know how to deal with this at my age...And don't I have every right to be as hurt even though I am moved out of the house and have a family of my own..
2006-07-01 17:08:56 · 14 answers · asked by ♥AmBeR♥ 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
And its sometimes like im being drug into it..like most parents divorcing..one wants to talk bad about the other..and I feel like im having to choose sides..
2006-07-01 17:28:09 · update #1
just b/c you're older that doesn't mean that it won't affect you, you may start to analyze your own marriage b/c of it. It will affect you in some way, I hope not too bad though. Good luck.
2006-07-01 17:11:16 · answer #1 · answered by Honey83 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in the same boat hun.... I am 18, and planning my own marriage, and my parents are going through a very uh... interesting... divorce...
My fiance has been divorced twice, and when I was with my last boyfriend, he was going through a nasty divorce, so I have learned to see it from all angles...
My best advice is to be happy for your parents; they are getting out a bad/sour relationship, and just be there to support them. Find some one you can talk to (your husband, friend, whomever), and let them know that your parents' divorce is hurting you too. Take some time to have a heart-to-heart with each of your parents seperately, and let them vent their frustrations, and you should tell them your concerns too, and that even though you are grown, and out on your own, that you still feel deeply for them, and their divorce hurts you too.
2006-07-01 17:20:30 · answer #2 · answered by Kamikaze 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have every right to be hurt, it does not matter, that your married or that you have children of your own, they are still your parents, and you love them, and the divorce is not only going to be hard on the younger children in your family it is going to be hard on you too, I know you feel betrayed by your parents for getting a divorce, but a good relationship is built on trust, and if they can't trust each other then this is probably the best for them.
As for you, you have every right to be sad, to cry, to feel betrayed, to feel hurt, etc..
2006-07-01 17:13:44 · answer #3 · answered by shezdoni2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand! My parents divorced when I was 18 yrs. old. I was graduating from high school and moving out to go to college. It almost seems harder to deal with when you are older b/c by that time, you think; your parents will always be together. It was very hard getting over it, and separating holidays when I was in college and now. It will get better over time, but trust me...it will take a while. Just take the adjustments slow, one day at a time.
2006-07-01 17:16:59 · answer #4 · answered by MandyHawk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes during a divorce, parents may be so caught up in their own changes it can feel like your own life is on hold. In addition to staying focused on your own plans and dreams, make sure you participate in as many of your normal activities as possible. When things are changing , it can really help to keep some things, such as activities and friends, the same. Take care of yourself, too, by eating right and getting regular exercise - two great stress busters!
2006-07-01 17:13:49 · answer #5 · answered by J~Me 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, but at least you got to spend time with both parents for a whole bunch of years.
My parents got divorced when I was 3 and my dad and I really have no good connections so its like I don't know him.
But, I'd be upset too.
2006-07-01 17:11:25 · answer #6 · answered by DisneyLover 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce affects all memebers of the family, married or unmarried. It is hard on all involved and takes a long time to accept it. Hang in there, it will get better, I promise.
2006-07-01 17:13:00 · answer #7 · answered by jbpammy004 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have all the right to be hurt. You are their daughter. Have faith in God that the learning from this experience will be clear to you.
Be there for both of them and listen to them. There is no right in a divorce. Just too many "I wish" "I need" I want". It is all about what the "I". Without compromises there is no marriage.
Have faith and pray for them, you and your family.
2006-07-01 17:14:44 · answer #8 · answered by hmc121667 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so far you are married. it will not effect you too much but your younger siblings might be suffer, if you are ready to look after them then there is no problem at all. the important point is that if your parents can not live with each other it better to be seperate, after all they are your parents they will not forget you and your siblings as well. so be positive."god bless you"
2006-07-01 17:18:49 · answer #9 · answered by don21 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Their not trying to put you in the middle their just mad at each other and with you being 19 they probably don't realize that your upset. So tell them that you still love them both and that your trying to be understanding but you really wish they would ditch each other to you. It makes you uncomfortable and sad all at the same time.They'll listen.
2006-07-01 20:54:58 · answer #10 · answered by Countrygirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋