My name is Robert, I'm a senior. I have a great girlfriend, her name is Andrea and she's a sophmore. Well we've been dating for about 4 months now and I love her and I know she loves me. The only thing is that she can be kind of, for lack of a better word, obsessive. She tells me she loves me many many times a day and she says she doesn't know what she would do without me. She's even talking about trying a long-distance relationship when I head off for college. That's not exactly cool with me. I need some help on how to tell her that I'm not interested in a long-distance relationship.
And another thing, me and my ex broke up last year. We became best friends after the break up but all our friends say we should date again. Now I have had feelings for her since the breakup and she said the only thing she regrets in her life is breaking up with me. She has a boyfriend and I a girlfriend. We both have strong feelings for each other and I don't know what to do. HELP!
2006-07-01 16:26:19 · 15 answers · asked by rob wells 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Honestly, it sounds to me like this just isn't a good time for you to be tied down to anyone, and that you know this. You really won't want to be away at college, starting all out fresh, and have ties like that back home. Besides, being a college freshman will keep your mind busy for awhile. Go there concentrating on school, not clingy girls. Andrea sounds too immature for you anyway. Best of luck to you in college, and have a fun, safe, and restful summer!
2006-07-01 17:11:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well let me first say that a 4 month relationship no matter how old you are does not mean that you or she are totally in love. By the sound of it I think you know this. You said that you are not interested in a long distance relationship but if the love you say you have was true this would not be the case.
You are going off to colege which is a whole new part of your life. You will be meeting new people and making new friends and experiencing new things. If you already know that you do not want to go away with a girlfiend back home then you know what to do. You can spend time with her at home before you leave and hell even love her but be truthful and respectful to her and yourself. You know this is not going to last and by allowing her to think this is unfair. Explain to her that while you love her you know that when you go off to college you can not be tied to someone. Explain that you are beginning a new life and since she will not be there and she will still be in school at home that it is not fair to expect you or her to stay true to each other. Because who knows next year when you are gone there may be a guy that she becomes interested in. Also about how she cannot live without you... That is just love talk. I am not saying that she does not have love for you only that at the age that you and she are when someone new comes into your life that becomes important you love them.
Just be honest with yourself and her. Honesty is the only thing that will allow you to do this guilt free. And as far as your ex. You broke up for a reason and whatever that reason it happened. She is a good friend now with a boyfriend independant of you so let that alone. The same situation goes for her. Do not start something that you know you are not goingto finish.
2006-07-01 16:39:31 · answer #2 · answered by lvb524 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, you don't love Andrea. Second, you need to break up with her, especially if you have feelings for your ex because in the long run (or very soon) you will end up hurting Andrea. Third, break it to her gently...tell her it's your first year in college and you want to be single in this new experience. She's only a sophomore...she's still young and needs to experience more relationships before she decides to do a long distance one. Tell her this will be good for her because she can go out with other guys and not have to worry about hurting you. Fourth, this ex of yours, if she makes you happy, i say go for it. Just remember, if you do it immediately, people are going to get hurt...like Andrea and your ex's boyfriend.
If you end of missing Andrea, you'll realize you made a mistake and hopefully she'll still be there for you. Good Luck.
2006-07-01 16:45:10 · answer #3 · answered by curious 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is the point when you say "I need some space." yes, it generally means the end, but it also leaves enough room for a sequel (for lack of a better term) to the relationship.
Try to figure out why you broke up with your previous g/f and if those factors probably exsist still.
Freshman year in college is the roughest year of all your schooling. Not even freshman in highschool compares. You do not get a re-cap of your previous year on ANYTHING, and most of the subjects will jump you a year as well.
Tell your current g/f that you need to focus now on college and you don't want to compromise your future, and think it's totally selfish of her for wanting you to compromise it. You would never expect her to compromise her education for you. She's gonna cry, so hold her and kiss her, tell her to be good and who knows what the future holds.
2006-07-01 16:38:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well looks like you got yourself in a jam there...
When a girl tells you a hundred times a day that she loves you. That is a pretty good sign that she wants to be with you for a good amount of time. Girls are more prone to saying it often and you two have been dating for 4 months.. That is a long time for most girls.
Now as for the ex. You split up for some reason.
You have to make a decision here. Why don't you want to have a long distance relationship? That for one shows you DON'T love her like you tell her. Love can get through ANYTHING.
So right there.. Your not made for her,
This ex.. why did she leave in the first place?
Do you love her? Are you willing to have a long distance relationship with her?
If you need more advice or have more questions...
My name is Corinne you can reach me at
echoesrocker@yahoo.com
2006-07-01 16:35:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you're both still young and have alot of life ahead of you. Like Judge Mabeline says look deep before you leap! If you really loved your girlfriend, you wouldn't hesitate to have a long distance relationship! Sounds to me like you really don't know what you want! As far as your ex-girlfriend goes it depends on what the reason was that you broke up in the first place. You know what they say - you always want what you can't have! How long were you broken up before you got a new girlfriend? Maybe not long enough - the new one could be just a rebound - I don't know all the circumstances to give a good opinion?!
2006-07-01 19:21:00 · answer #6 · answered by cracker 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I too am a "senior", just a different kind than you are. As a result, I have years of experience behind me, yours is all ahead of you. You and Andrea are still just "kids". Its apparent young girls haven't changed much in one respect: they love to "be in love" and love the drama involved. Very fickle. Don't take the bait. Go off to college and enjoy your new experiences and relationships. You are too young to get serious with anyone! Distance will be good for you both.
Give it one year, at least, and then see if you still feel the same way. I'm betting you won't. Good luck to you.
2006-07-01 16:46:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well sounds like you don't love your current girlfriend, and she probably doesn't love you. She may just need to be reassured that she's wanted. She'll get over you breaking up with her. To lead her on with a long distance relationship is just wrong. As for your Ex, keep in touch with her. Just keep in mind that you are going to college where you are probably going to want freedom.
2006-07-01 16:32:34 · answer #8 · answered by Mayday85 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I read you right, you would like to get your current girlfriend out of the way because you want to give it another shot with your ex... Sometimes dating other girls make you appreciate what you had before that... Be a nice guy and tell her the truth, and that she deserves to be loved by a guy who's going to give her his whole heart.. and yours is not entirely there... and treat her like you'd like any other guy to treat your sister... if you had one... and it's okay if you can't love her, you don't have to, and she needs to understand that... Good luck with your ex!
2006-07-01 16:40:35 · answer #9 · answered by Pivoine 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First: write down everything you want to tell your new girl.
Second, tell her straight forward that you dont see yourself being her "the one"
Third: DO NOT smile while doing this, DO NOT laugh at her, DO not show any facial expression that might be considered a "happy" expression. You want to get rid of this girl right? Dont smile or you will send a mixed signal. AND keep to your words! Dont go back on them.
2006-07-01 16:34:32 · answer #10 · answered by ziggunerin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋