It bothers me alot that he watches porn. He gets angry with me when I argue with him about it. I feel that maybe he is losing interest in me but he claims not. I sometimes feel we don't have sex as much because of the porn.
2006-07-01 16:03:53 · 48 answers · asked by pumpkin 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
XXXXXXXXXXX Rather or not all guys have porn isn't really the problem here. The problem is your husband watches porn and you don't like it. He should care more about your feelings than trying to justify his actions. How about you buying a sexy outfit. Do some role playing with your husband. Give him a sexy lap dance. Maybe being a little more sexually spontaneous will send him less to the tube and more to your arms. Good luck hun. XXXXXXXXXXXXXX
2006-07-01 16:10:11 · answer #1 · answered by asoldierswife 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
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2016-07-20 11:36:35 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, no man has porn because he is losing interest in his wife, girlfriend, etc. It has nothing to do with you. I understand why you feel jelousy, and it is understandable. However, it has nothing to do with you.
Next issue, I cannot imagine a man having less sex because he watches porn. That is just not the case.
3rd, he gets angry for 2 reasons. #1 is because is ashamed, embarrassed, hurts because he knows it upset you and so forth. #2 is because he is being attacked, judged, perceived negatively, blamed, being made to feel like he is some kind of sicko, etc. When any person is attacked, he or she reaches for their defense mechanism...so people get mad, others cry, some run, some become violent, whatever. It just happens.
Finally, there are 2 types of men. Men that admit to either watching, downloading, owning, viewing, reading or any other medium of porn consumption. The other type of men are the ones that lie about.
Look, I am a dude. I have lived in a fraternity house. I literally have more male friends than I can even count. We are all open and honest with each other about everything. I have seen the exact same situation you are in with a few friends. Others have wives that accept it. Some of the couples enjoy it together from time to time, like in a hotel room on a romantic night. I'm not talking about blowing hundreds at a strip club, hiring escorts, cheating, etc. neither are you.
I am in no way suggesting it is right, correct or whatever. Like I said before, I completely understand why you asked the above questions. Fortunately, you have nothing to worry about. Your husband is normal and all good. Remember, us men never change. We are the same dude from the day you meet us till the day you bury us. You know your man is a good man, otherwise you wouldnt have married him...him looking at porn does not change that.
2006-07-01 16:28:18 · answer #3 · answered by Cing 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Porn is a bad thing. I don't use it but alot of guys do. I have this belief that I don't want to look at something I can't have. Especially if I have been married awhile. Now the big question is when he's making love to me is he thinking about those hot young porn babes (which makes you noting more than a warm recepticle) or is he thinking about me?
Porn is one of those things that can get out of hand easily. There is always a dark side to porn if you let it get out of hand. The internet can really let you expand.
If he's looking at the odd Playboy then I wouldn't worry, if he's working the internet then you might want to have a good talk.
There is a book out there that gives a birds eye view of the male psyche and could be very helpful. The website is as follows:
http://www.condomsbrasandstraightjackets.com
Good luck
2006-07-01 16:20:39 · answer #4 · answered by hoyhoydc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All men do have porn at one point in there lifetime. However, usually when they get married they don't need the porn because they have someone they love. If it bothers you so much you need to sit down with him and really talk to him. Make him listen to you and understand how you are feeling. If he still seems insensetive and indifferent then maybe talk to a counselor or something.
And don't stress too much about the sex thing. First, it really has nothing to do with how much he loves you. And second, as the marriage continues and you are together longer sex starts to seem less exciting and you do it less often. However, that opens the door for other things like quality cuddle time and real romance.
2006-07-01 16:09:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Porn is a problem if it's a problem for you. Porn is a problem if it interferes with your "real" sex life. You and your husband should talk calmly about why he watches it so much and why it makes you feel bad. If he doesn't feel the need to resolve this issue you have a much bigger problem then porn, it means your husband doesn't care about your happiness. No all guys don't have porn...some guys think it's stupid looking at slutty women.
2006-07-01 16:12:25 · answer #6 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pretty much all guys have some porn. My wife and I used to argue about it quite a bit, and it was one of the things that helped end our marriage because she became so obsessed with it. It was never a problem for me, I only watched it occasionally but she felt so threatened by it that she made it a major issue. My advice is lay off him about it, if it's not an obvious problem for him, don't make it a problem in your marriage.
2006-07-01 16:10:02 · answer #7 · answered by colorguy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They may not "own" the porn, per se, such as a stash under the bed or stuff on their computer, but they all have seen it.
Also, there's no pressure with porn. With real sex, there's always that element of having to perform to some degree.
It's just a fantasy aid.
2006-07-01 16:12:00 · answer #8 · answered by electroberry1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
easy answer. NO.
to make that claim false, i only need to find ONE single guy in the billions of males in the world that does not have porn. And I know a lot who don't.
maybe what's he's trying to point out is that having porn is normal. and yes, it is. what isn't normal if he watches porn everyday and would prefer to do himself rather than make love with you.
2006-07-01 16:08:09 · answer #9 · answered by toughthrone 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a man and yes i like porn but not in the excessive way that you described it . It sound to me that if he likes to watch porn more then having sex with his beautiful wife, there is seriously something wrong in your relationship. Take counseling or leave him and his porn tapes
2006-07-02 04:47:28 · answer #10 · answered by dragor321 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋