My husband and I are separated and he refuses to talk to me regarding our situation. He drinks heavily.?

Question

Our problems began when his very troubled son moved in (we have other children) He refuses to see the depth of the problems and has alianated himself from the rest of his family because of this . He also refuses counsiling.

Answer 1

Then you need to save yourself and your children. Leave him. If he's not doing anything constructive on his part to make your marriage work, you're not going to get anywhere. You're in this marriage by yourself and that never ever works. It's like trying to drive a car with only 3 wheels.

Answer 2

You can only do so much he has to want to help himself and counseling for him be for the rest of his life some kind of meetings to get off the drinking. I know I married a recovering alcoholic and everyday is a challenge I chose not to drink. I also think if this troubled son is a problem and hes 18 kick him out so he can learn what the world is really like without your help and you also don't want the other children subject to that either. So I guess you did what you can now its his turn to make changes not you.

Answer 3

If you are separated why do you care. If you had enough sense to walk away then keep on walking. Addicts use, to get away from reality. Until he hits his bottom and decides for himself to seek help all of your talking is for nothing. Also speaking as a child of an addict if you got your children out of that situation then worry about healing them and let your husband worry about himself. Until he is able to decide for himself he will not care about you or children I am sorry to say. I speak from experience worry about your kids that's most important.

Answer 4

I went through the same thing. It wasn't until my youngest child was 13 that I left with my two daughters. We were separated about 2 years. I heard all of the excuses, but the comment that stuck with me most was, I don't want to change, I wouldn't be happy. That was it for me. It was too late for us, and eight years later, I realize I left too late before the alcoholism "infected" my oldest daughter. She is an addict and miserable. That is the biggest regret of all. "Don't go down with a sinking ship."

Answer 5

He has an addiction, and speaking from experience, if he doesn't want to help himself you can't help him. You need to decide for yourself if you are willing to put up with this and if not then find the strength to move on. If he doesn't get help for himself then you are just starting a vicious cycle that will only end in heartbreak for yourself. I wish you the best of luck!

Answer 6

Well your husband has a problem. If talking to him doesn't work then talk with the son. If all fails then just try moving on. Don't let him bring you and your kids down with him.

Answer 7

You'll have to deal with it then. If he won't you'll have to take control and try to get help for his son. He probably won't take responsibility for his son or his own life so it's up to you to make a life for yourself and your family. Try to go forward and take one day at a time. Get a positive support group around you - maybe church friends. Have people who care about know what's going on and dropping by to check on you.

Answer 8

If your afraid of him and you thing he might do something to you or himself . Then you shouldn't be alone with him , and change the Locke's on the doors . Tell him you won't talk till he will do something about his drinking .

Answer 9

then you know what he aint worth it all it will lead to is a lot more problems. seen it first hand and you know keep pushing the issue further and try to fix it it is going to lead in a bad situation. so cut loses while you can and know that there is nothing you can do.

Answer 10

Get his mother to come over and talk some sense into him,,,,,they can tell it like it is, and make them feel like an ant when they get through w/ them bad boys!!!