I am a stay-at-home mom, and I absolutely hate my husband, there is some bad history (abuse), but every time I feel like I'm ready to divorce, I freak out and stop because of our son. I know I'll never have another child, so he's it, and it scares the hell out of me to lose him even part time. But our home environment is very stressful, with arguments and naming calling (from my husband) what do I do?
2006-07-01 15:16:15 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Where I live, the courts don't care what he's done to me, as long as he's never hourt our son..,
2006-07-01 15:17:28 · update #1
If this situation is as dire as you describe it - leave or resign yourself to raising the next generation of an abuser. You son will believe that your relationship is how relationships are and be a jerk to his future partners.
2006-07-01 15:46:27 · answer #1 · answered by justsaynotogrumps 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would this isn't the best environment for any child and he shouldn't be around this kind of behavior, And you also shouldn't put up with any abuse he (husband) needs to get some kind of help no matter what you decide for at least your son. He might start abusing him when he gets older so you need to get out now and if you need to start working get a job and move on and get divorced. You deserve a better life then this and so does your son best of luck to you.
2006-07-01 22:41:48 · answer #2 · answered by wildrose 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If things are this bad now, you may want to just leave. You used the word hate in your description. That says "TIME TO GO"!!!
You definitely do not want to do this in front of children no matter their age. If there is abuse involved you can get help from domestic violence agencies. Be strong - take a stand - make it better. Do you think it is good for your son to be in an environment like that? How do you think he is going to treat women when he gets older? That is one of the things that "freaked me out "& I left. One of the best decisions I ever made!
2006-07-01 22:27:41 · answer #3 · answered by ♥Saffron♥Daydream♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a tough thing to face losing your child even part of the time. I am facing the same thing right now. Fortunatly my wife is having so much fun with her new man friend that I have my daughter all of the time. There are so many fears to face and painful decisions to make. Try to look at the situation from another point of view. What advice would you give to someone in your positon? Answer that question and then follow your own advice. Good luck to you.
2006-07-01 22:30:48 · answer #4 · answered by Scott B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I bet if a good friend of yours asked you the same thing you'd tell her of course to get out of there. Now I'll admit that it's quite easy for outsiders to look in and tell you to get out. It's going to be hard (i'm sister's going through the same thing, abuse and all), but for your son, it's so important to get him into a healthy environment. If you don't think you're "worth it" -- that for some reason you deserve to suffer, then you could always use therapy for yourself. it's healthy and will give you much needed courage AND support that you truly need right now. Also, your son deserves more than you and your hubby are providing for him jointly. He could really prosper getting the best of mom and dad apart as apposed to the worst of you two together. No matter what you chose I would seek support -- a womens/children's shelther, church etc. You're a good woman, and sronger than you think. Good luck !
2006-07-01 22:28:11 · answer #5 · answered by bride 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I left my son's father when he was less than a year old and I was never happier. THe minute I left, I knew I had done the right thing. I could breathe again. I would start by going to counseling, that's how I decided to leave. He stil sees my son, who is a healthy and well adjusted 21 year old boy now. If I had stayed. I believe my son wouldn't be doing as well as he is now as he would have been in a house full of tension and unhappiness and fighting.
You only have one life. You have to take care of yourself. Good luck.
2006-07-01 22:21:31 · answer #6 · answered by Elizabeth 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I grew up in a home where there was constant fighting. My sister is 13 years younger than me. It was like that my entire life. It was miserable and I hated my dad for making my mom feel the way she did. When I got older, he took out his frustration on me also. My mom divorced him when my sister was 2. She doens't remember any of it. Leaving my dad is probably the best thing my mother ever did for us. She and her dad have a great relationship. He is fine with her. I on the other hand am trying to make peace with my childhood. It is better for a child to be in two seperate happy homes where that child is loved in both places, than to be in a constant battle. When children see their parents fight, they think it is their fault, no matter what! I see that you only want what's best for your child. Look at your inner feelings. You gut motherly instinct. It will tell you what to do. Good luck in your decision!
2006-07-01 22:22:09 · answer #7 · answered by #3ontheway! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl please get you a lawyer....and leave that asshole... if your a good mom the baby goes with you, he gets visitations.but if you stay i can tell you that you are going to be so miserable to the point that living is going to be painfull and your baby can not grow up watching his mother be abuse and verbally humilliated all the time that is not good for either of you..... get a lawyers advice and tell that lawyer what is like... if i was you get a woman lawyer they tend to be more agresive about this things they take it personal.have some witness ready like people that have watch him insulting you...and you need to document everything he does if hes abusive get a polaroid and take some pic of bruses you may have.
but really hey if you just dont have that and you want out .just by saying that he is mentally abusing you is enough and see a therapist their reports count,...do what ever is nessesary to get out of that relationship. i know how you feel its sucks. but you have to be brave.for you and your child.good luck
2006-07-01 22:39:16 · answer #8 · answered by boricua_2290 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a single parent who went through something similar until I talked to a counselor that told me that it is worst for a child to live in an environment filled w/ strife than to live in a single parent environment.
Maybe, if you leave, he can still have a relationship with your son minus the fighting with you.
God Bless
2006-07-01 22:21:12 · answer #9 · answered by Madame Butta-fly 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well the first thing leave your hubby if he is abuse you.cause he might harm u bad and kill u.and ur states dont care what happen to you.it is best for u to leave and so to another states to a buse center for women with children,we are very rule here for a spouse abuse and the safely for the children.or try to find a place there that have rape,abuse for women and her children or you can find them on the internet they be glad to help you.you wont lose your kids from this.you needed to be some place safe.cause ur kid will be without a mom if u are not safe from abuse.i know money it hard to live and the stress we live in,but it is not nice for name calling and if u really hate ur hubby dont be afraid to leave. i will be praying for your safely and your son.
2006-07-01 22:27:36 · answer #10 · answered by hillbillie1960 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋