im 17, almost 18. I told my mom that I have a girlfriend and she said that she "accepts" it. But she has told me that it would be better if I go back in the closet. She also tells my younger sister that I "flaunt" my sexuality (Holding my gf's hand for example).
I dont't know if she accepts me or just acknowledges the fact im gay and have a partner. Should I let it be or confront her about it?
2006-07-01 15:08:18 · 10 answers · asked by Marki 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Ok, so yes. She does need time. That much is true. That doesn't mean you shouldn't clear up some of her misconceptions. She might want you to go back in the closet because she's genuinely worried about your safety; that might be another long talk in the future. The "flaunt" thing is kind of unacceptable. Google the definition of "heterosexual privelidge", and attempt to convey that idea to her. Tell her that she has flaunted her heterosexuality her enitre life. When you correct her on the things she's a little...confused about, you'll probably get a good feel as to whether or not she's really trying to understand, or if she's just hoping it's a phase or something.
2006-07-02 02:26:25 · answer #1 · answered by Atropis 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Parents have a difficult time accepting things with their kids. From what you're telling me, Momma hasn't accepted it at all! Remember, dear, it takes a lot for parents and loved ones(and most folks in general) to come to grips and acceptance of homosexuality. Some people are okay with it, some are not. But be respectful of your momma('specially if you're living in her house), but do not allow her to disrespect you by any means. Try and calmy(that's the key..you can't be raisin' hell tryin' to get your point across!) talk things out. If that's not possible, consider mediation or family counselling from a unbiased professional. Good luck, my dear.
2006-07-01 15:29:55 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she wants to accept you but still has to come to terms with it. You prob'ly had much more time to think about your sexuality then she has. Give her a little more time to come around, but don't hide your feelings. If she seems to be taking it to a non-accepting place then tell her how you feel and talk about it openly. Hold your girlfriend's hand and be happy. Family is hard sometimes but it is worth it to try to understand each other.
2006-07-01 15:34:42 · answer #3 · answered by MindStorm 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she sounds like she has both acknowledges your sexual orientation and that she doesn't want you to be hurt. i think you should confront her, but do it civilized-like. if it starts to become a shouting match, then nothing will be accomplished.
just a side note here: try to explain to her that holding hands is not flaunting. parading around with rainbows and triangles is.
2006-07-01 19:30:08 · answer #4 · answered by gaygoddevil 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she is trying to accept you, but having a hard time with it. She sounds concerned that your sister will "convert" to homosexuality if she sees you (which is obviously a silly, but common belief). Try to give her more time. If things don't get better, try sitting down with her again and discussing it. Maybe she is hoping it is a phase and when it doesn't pass, she'll come to terms with it. Good luck!
2006-07-01 17:11:35 · answer #5 · answered by Maggie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that she does accept it, but is scared for your safety because of the nutcases out there.
I wish for a day that GLBT's are safe and have no worries that someone will do them bodily harm....but it's not today.
If one of my children is gay, I would not have one iota of a problem with it personally. But I would hurt for them because of the problems they will encounter because of ignorance and hatred and bigotry.
Be glad that you have a mother that accepts you. But also understand that she has to face the very real problems you are going to face.
2006-07-01 15:25:27 · answer #6 · answered by iam1funnychick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She accepts it - but she's not comfortable with it. So, every little thing you do (holding hands) is magnified in her mind. Over time she'll get it - don't worry about it.
2006-07-01 23:42:10 · answer #7 · answered by unclefrunk 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let it be, give her time. She will either get over it or not. Doesn't really matter you will be 18 and on your own making your own decisions soon.
2006-07-01 15:12:50 · answer #8 · answered by jdc591 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give her time...it's a big adjustment for her...It sounds to me that she does really love you and is trying to come around...this may have been a big surprise for her to handle all at once.
2006-07-01 16:12:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not think she really understands that you are a lesbian yet. Give her time for it to sink in.
2006-07-01 15:18:04 · answer #10 · answered by Melanie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋