Strange situation. I am a 25 year old female in a very stressful marriage. Recently I met a young girl who approached me for help. She is 14 and very pregnant. Her parents will not provide her a place to live if she keeps her baby. She very much wants to keep the child, her boyfriend is 17 and wants to help her. His parents are also not capable of helping them. What can I do to help these children? They are babies having a baby and I want to help them but am not in a position to do so by taking them in. He is able to become emancipated at his age, but I'm not sure if she can do the same. Anybody with serious advice, please give me any ideas you might have. She is due in September.
2006-07-01 14:37:50 · 25 answers · asked by corrie 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Thank you to every body who answered this question. I'm afraid I'm gonna have to put this one up to a vote because you guys really helped me far too much for me to choose one as the best. Thanks again. Especially to those who are praying for us. I don't really know what I believe in these days but one thing I'm still sure of is the power of prayer. Thank you all so much!
2006-07-02 19:21:43 · update #1
Try to be there for her and him as much as you can. She needs someone right now and after she has the baby. Encourage her and him to finish school or get a GED and work to support that baby. You don't have to be the financial provider, but help out if they need money or offer to babysit if they are doing the right thing and supporting the baby. Help them get on the right track and guide them. I wish you and them the best!
2006-07-01 14:42:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I say help her out, as a teen mom (altough I was 17) is very hard and you barely ever have anyone to talk to and help you with life. This poor girl has no idea what she is getting into, she will need all the help she can get. I say help her with a place to saty if she needs it and if at all possible when shes 15 or 16 (and if you have the time) let her worjk and you take care of childcare. AND please make sure that 17 year old bf has a job too. I think what she really needs though is just a listening ear, someone who listens, really listens, and doesn't place judgement. Also you cant really do anything about the emacipation thing,unless her parents give har up for an open adoption, which is very unlikely, and be assured, they will come around after their grandchild is born. JUST BE UNDERSTANDING AND NON-JUDGEMENTAL!!!
2006-07-01 21:47:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There may be foster agencies that will take her and the baby and may be able to place her in a home where she can keep the baby also, only if her parents give up custody of her. I know of someone who fosters and did this with two girls, about the same age. If the guy does become emancipated he may be able to work with the agency to provide for the child, in order to keep the mother and child together, again as long as her parents co-operate. . . Good luck, and thank you for caring, she'll need you.
2006-07-01 21:44:05 · answer #3 · answered by soided 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what state your in, but as far as I know her parents are responsible for her because of her age. There is nothing you can do, you could get yourself in trouble, and from what you said you have a stressful marriage, you don't need more. I would talk to the girl, and tell her if her parents will not let her stay there until she has the baby, then decide as time goes on in her pregnancy what they want to do, then there are places for unwed mothers to go until they deliver. They have time also to plan or decide what that they to do. I wish the best for all of you.
2006-07-01 21:58:37 · answer #4 · answered by mybudnoobs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would offer to give them the security deposit for an apartment and offer to take them anywhere they need to go to apply for help or advice. The thing is that they need someone's help if only emotionally but they both need to learn that if they are old enough to have sex, then they should enough to deal with what can happen.
If at all possible I would talk to the parents about counseling with the daughter and them. This way she can lean on her parents for support as well. Remember you must take care of yourself first, do what you are able to do and then help them find someone or something that can help them as well. Mind you this is not just financially but emotionally too.
2006-07-01 21:43:24 · answer #5 · answered by sapientia2010 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what is best for her. it will be hard for her to raise this baby when it born,dues both side of thier parent wont help.My youngest sister was parent about that age.She has welfare help with the baby formula.but the way the price are today for daiper and clothes r very expences.if she want to adopt the baby i wish i can afford to adopt her baby.but if she want to keep it she really do need help to raise it.we all make mistake in our life.thier parent wont know what they r missing they have a grandchild coming in this world and it is not the baby fault.maybe they be over it by the time the baby is born.when they see the baby they probably change their mind.good luck.
2006-07-01 22:43:12 · answer #6 · answered by hillbillie1960 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is not old enough to support a baby alone (or the two of them alone ) then she shouldn't have had sex. What is wrong with her parents for letting her date a seventeen year old and have sex anyway. If her parents had morals and passed them on to her then she wouldn't be in this situation. They aught to have to take care of her until she is 18 anyway, and the baby would be better off being adopted by a nice couple who can take care of it that actually wants a baby. It would be cruel not to adopt it out.
2006-07-01 21:46:12 · answer #7 · answered by sldolphins 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they're too young to such a situation. But being she's determined, you could give her some money and a bus ticket, to her uncle's city. Your marriage is probably too stressful right now, to take her in to your home, but you could do that, too. She needs a place to live and to get a job. If it was up to me to help her, I'd let her stay with me, on the condition she get a job and pretend to be my niece. Also to pay rent, once she has a job. She'll need transportation and a baby sitter, too.
2006-07-01 21:43:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
None of them stand a chance. They really need to give the baby up for adoption. There must be some kind of family clinic in the area to provide the proper solution. I assume neither have family to be able to assist or direct them.
2006-07-01 22:10:34 · answer #9 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would offer a "role model" type of support. Not too much financially. They r both young, and do need guidance; but better to tech someone to fish rather than give them the fish. Also, it's really hard to believe the parents would just turn their backs like that. Right now they r mad, weather it be by choice, or not, they'll accept this
2006-07-01 23:14:51 · answer #10 · answered by yelloerose07 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hope this helps. Pray,Believe,Do. Take it to God.You sound like a very compassionate woman to me and I know you will do the right thing. Do you know of anyone wanting a baby? Maybe you can find someone who can not have any children and wants children, and hopefully they would take the girl in and help her to raise her baby. It sounds as if the parents of the girl do not care about her. God gave us each other to help one another.You and the girl and baby are in my prayers. Pray and believe in what you ask of God and he will answer your prayers..God Bless You Lady.
2006-07-01 22:19:09 · answer #11 · answered by callofthewildsarahblue 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋