every night he has off were together. and he picks me up to spend the night at his nearly every night after his work ( ie i have spent 14 nights at my home in 4 mths). he calls every day when he or i are out of town. he always says he misses me and he likes me i have been introduced to all his friends and his brother but wont commit. i know he was hurt very badly in his last relationship and wants to take it slow which am more than happy to do. but why does he introduce me to everyone as his "friend" (they clearly know its more than that) than his partner. i really like this guy and dont want to push him into something he is not ready to do, but i dont know how to ask him where he thinks this is going without freecking him out?
2006-07-01 14:37:30 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Give it time. i went through the same thing. It lasted nine months. but when he saw i was getting tired of it, and really thought he'd loose me, he asked to go steady...that was five years ago. He's introducing u to people because he wants to be in a relationship with u, but it's like u said, he wants to take it slow, and the term gf just implies that u guys could be on a path to becoming serious...and he doesn't want to give the wrong impression, just in case he looses u because he waited to long to ask u to be his girl, or something like that, then he has to explain y things didn't work out, but if ur just a friend...even though it appears otherwise, since that's how u were introduced...his friends and family would think it was just a fling...no biggie...no explanation needed, no drama to report. Plus...he might like u with all his heart, but he might still be hurting from his previous relationship(I'm guessing it ended bad), so how can he make that kind of a committment to u, when his heart REALLY isn't in it yet? Give him time, his heart will heal, then he'll give it to u, and u can take care of it for him...but until he's ready, don't force it. but if ur not willing to wait, then bail, and find a guy who's totally willing to be urs from the start.
2006-07-01 14:47:44 · answer #1 · answered by Uncertain Soul 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have to admit myself to having been a commitment Phobe and this sounds like what he's doing. Having a relationship made me nervous but doing exactly the same things, but not calling it that, was fine. Weird I know.
When these relationships fell apart, mainly due to my insecurity, it was then I realised what I was missing out on. Its like predicting the future but it actually happens because of your actions. A self fulfilling prophecy. Perhaps if he thinks he's going to lose you, he'll realise his fear of heartache is exactly what will cause them.
The only other thing I can say is that if this guy is nice, give him some time. Some people take longer to trust but then they really are committed. Don't let your own self confidence take a beating though. Hope this helps
2006-07-01 14:54:36 · answer #2 · answered by dignifiedcollapse 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is definitely a relationship between you both,and as long as you both know how you feel towards one another,what does it matter to the rest of the world at this point?Like you said you both are taking it slow anyhow.It sounds like you deep down want to be recognized as his Lady to all that you both go around,and i am sure they know as well for him to bring you around to begin with.However,if this is a bothersome point with you,you have to just talk to him and ask him why he introduces you the way he does?That it makes you feel less than what is really between you both,and this shouldn't scare him off or freak him out,because you both have been hanging out long enough for him to know how your relationship is.As far as his past relationship,that is exactly what it is,the past,you are you and you need to remind him,if needed and that you can't judge anyone by a person's past affairs,if that was the case,no one would be together.Him being hurt should teach him about the mistakes that was lead to part so he won't allow them to be in your relationship.I wouldn't worry to much about this issue though,because as time goes by his heart will grow stronger towards you and the words and feelings will show more and again as long as you both know where you both stand is really all that matters.Good Luck to you both!
2006-07-01 14:54:32 · answer #3 · answered by twjp1962 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, all you can do is ask. Just ask him were you guys are going with all of this. If he has been calling you and you have been staying alnight with him and your still a friend? I was say you are nothing more than a play toy to him. If I was in his shoes I would have commited by now and told you how I felt but thats me. Maybe he isnt like that. You have to talk to him about all of this to find out what is on his mind. Good luck.
2006-07-01 14:43:44 · answer #4 · answered by bigdog_0032 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Six months is long enough . Stop going over and being at his beck and call . Start dating others . Quit being available . You are not getting any respect from him . I'm sorry he was hurt but it had nothing to do with you and you don't deserve the punishment . He's already made it clear to you and others ,you are just his friend so ask him nothing , just start doing what a single girl does :DATE others . If and when he ask what are you doing : tell him ,I don't sleep or date my friends . If he doesn't mind than you'll know that he is only your friend .
2006-07-01 15:03:40 · answer #5 · answered by Wonderings 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm a guy and that i trust you thoroughly. I fee love lots greater beneficial than I do lust. Do issues together as friends, then artwork on a romantic relationship. Do you savour a similar meals, pastimes, stay shows, music and theater? It takes time and attempt to be certain in case you greater wholesome or no longer. in my opinion, i like the wonderment and anticipation of a a threat romantic relationship.
2016-11-01 01:47:27 · answer #6 · answered by rangnow 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your relationship isnt as bad as mine. Im a fall back girl to him. Mayeb give him some space and tell him what you mean to him. he might say why do you wanna know or somethign but be like it means a lot to be if you tell me an answer. If he likes you He will take some space and think about you and him then realize how wonderful you are.
2006-07-01 14:42:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that he is using you for sex. If majority of the time that you spend together is a sleepover at his house than its clearly just sex. I think that you should tell him that you waited 6 months for him and that you want to be in a relationship with him and if he doesnt want to yet then tell him that you are moving on to someone who does want to be with you.
2006-07-01 15:35:24 · answer #8 · answered by Bay Area Gal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Apparently you want more from this relationship than he's willing to give. If you're unhappy with the way things are, you need to let him know that you want things to change. If he can't handle a change and you can't handle things staying the same, then maybe...
2006-07-01 14:53:05 · answer #9 · answered by klunk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him to take it or leave it. tell him u know he wants to take it slow but 4 months is a while, and that u ARE looking for a real relationship. n if hes not willing to give it soon u have to leave him...
2006-07-01 14:43:08 · answer #10 · answered by jpiccoch 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋