Please help. I am a 23 year old male, attractive and don't have problems attracting women. I do however, get extremely red and begin to stutter and act nervous around them, the pretty ones at least. Do you find it to be wired and should I seek professional help or is it a normal thing. I was brought up in a house hold that was somewhat religious and was taught that sex was bad. Let me know your thoughts.
2006-07-01 14:20:54 · 24 answers · asked by Inquisit 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I've read a lot of self-help books and can even provide people with counsel on their prolbems but the only thing is knowing and doing is far from the same.
2006-07-01 14:48:53 · update #1
Maybe. I mean it's normal to be nervous, but come on man, you HAVE to get over this or you'll be alone forever. So if it takes therapy to get you over being shy, then that's what it's going to take.
I'm not telling you to have sex with them...I'm telling you to go out and talk to some women or you'll be ALONE FOREVER.
Good Luck!
2006-07-01 14:23:13 · answer #1 · answered by Corn_Flake 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have the same issues with men. I found when I met Mr. right, that was not an issue. I felt totally secure with him since day one. Though you may be shy, I think when you find that person that makes you feel comfortable this will not be an issue. I hope you find the same thing I have. I have now been happily married for 6 years and we have been together for 8 years. Don't change for others, look into yourself and make sure if you feel this is something you need to do that it's for you. Sometimes, some people make themselves difficult to approach and talk to, so it is not a comfortable feeling and makes you uneasy.
2006-07-01 14:55:40 · answer #2 · answered by Shooting star 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Naw! Nuthin wrong with you. You just need to work on your confidence. Some professional help my help get you on the right track, but just keep getting back in there man. Find a good friend of yours that's a girl and hang out with her and a few of her friends with no pressure of dating and hooking up. Let her know that so she doesn't try and force the girls on ya. That will get you used to socialising with women. And don't put all the pressure of the sex thing on the first hello or date. Give yourself some time to figure out what you want and take it slow. When your ready to jump in a little deeper you'll have some experience then :)
2006-07-01 14:32:02 · answer #3 · answered by Young B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is nothing WRONG with you, but yes, i think therapy would definitely help you. obviously you have some issues in your life or resulting from you childhood that cause this shyness or embaressment, and talking to a professional will help you get to the root of what's bothering you and help you through it so you don't get so nervous and flustered anymore! this will really boost your self-confidence. almost everyone can benefit from some therapy in one way or another. i am sure there is self-help books on this topic, too if you would rather look for some methods that you can use to get over this on your own. good luck!
2006-07-01 14:25:05 · answer #4 · answered by neverneverland 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Therapy couldn't hurt. I've been where you are. The more you put yourself out there and force yourself to talk to them, the easier it gets over time. Also, as you get a little older, your hormones will slow down and it won't be as hard. But if this is keeping you from being happy, then giving therapy a try couldn't hurt.
2006-07-01 14:26:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Professional help may be the answer but in my opinion I think that all you need is self confidence. Once you realize that you have value...just as much as the next person...you can overcome this shyness. Remember, you don't have to be perfect, be the best looking, be the smartest or none of that. you simply have to believe in yourself. I wish I could recommend a particular book but I am unable to. I suggest you go to the library and ask the librarian to recommend some books 0n self confidence. Once you understand that there is no magic just knowledge to being self confident, you're well on your way.
2006-07-01 14:42:32 · answer #6 · answered by Robere 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you need therapy, however, if you think you do, then get it, by all means. If you just stutter and get nervous when you first meet a girl, that's perfectly normal, but if it continues as you continue talking, that's not quite as normal. I don't think it matters that you were brought up thinking sex was bad though, because you should be abstaining until marriage anyway.
2006-07-01 14:26:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think a lot of girls would be flattered if you stutter a little around them. Maybe try to think of girls as friends first, then potential girlfriends later. I don't think you need professional help, unless you really want to. Guys are cute when they are a little nervous.
Also, sex is not bad. God created it to be enjoyable. He just intended it to be between a married couple. I don't mind waiting for the right person.
2006-07-01 15:53:46 · answer #8 · answered by alcachofita 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you crazy? NO! But therapy might help explore why you are shy around women and help you not to be, so it might be worth it. I know how that feels and DH was even shyer than I was about that sort of thing.
2006-07-01 14:25:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A therapist might be able to teach you some social skills or try behavorial or cognitive techniques to help you feel comfortable in that situation. Maybe hypnosis in which you can picture yourself talking to an attractive woman while in a relaxed state.
2006-07-01 14:29:20 · answer #10 · answered by klunk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋