What is going on?

Question

I've had such a complex life the past few years since 2000. In Aug 2000 my mom had a stroke, Apr 2001 my dad died. I went to college in Aug 2001 - had a lot of drama there. I was engaged in Dec 2002 for 6mths - then he left. I finished school in Aug 2004. In Nov 2004 I got married to someone else - separted from him Jan 2006 and he wants a divorce he's already got the papers written up but I haven't signed them. Those are just the highlights. Oh yea, I have a bachelors in business and can't get a good job. Right now I live with my mom and make $7/hr at a deadend job. Point is I'm tired of all the drama and "life" situations. For the past couple of years (even before my dad's death). I've wanted to die and still do. I think about it everyday and I fill like I've ran out of ways to cope with all this. I think I've been just pushing everything aside and not dealing with it. Now everything has built up so much I have no choice but to deal and I don't know what to do. Any comments?

Answer 1

I had really bad years also. where every one in my familey died includung my best friend i used to be neighbores with and a lady friend here. for 2 years all this hit me at once. 5 people gone. it was really hard on me.i felt like an orphane, with no familey left but my daughter and grandson....i turned to god, and then also went to theropy for help with the griving process....you are not the only one my dear, and i also was still recovering from an accedent to which i had to have a full hip replacement...... and moved also to a new state before all this happened........
so i went through about a 4 year deal also. but know we can survire alot. and some times we are tested by god, like job was.
iam a christan, and really i thought i could not go another day...
but i did. yes i can identife with your thoughts.....but wanting to die is only the pain you are feeling now. i think you haven't delt with alot of it. I was the same way. go to a theropist. and start to think it out with help. they will help you take one thing at a time.
there are behavior health services just about every where. they don't charge large fees just acording to your income.which is very little as they use a scale of pay fees. i have had help that way also. you are not alone. in this. it is normal also, really. to have things jump out of every where all at once...many people may say ah, no not me. i just say it's not your turn yet...
god bless you dear.....it will all turn out fine.

Answer 2

I Feel for everything your saying.I had a very bad 2005. It seems like nothing is going to be the same, but it will, I keep telling myself that. You have a good start, got your bachelors, you could try every anything to get your foot in the door. Go to all business you can think of, have a job description made of what you can do. The thing is you cant giveup. Life can do a number on you , but I tell my kids, its what you make of it, get back on the horse. I think you may also may want to think about talking to someone, counseling, it never hurts to talk to someone, they let you vent, and that's what we all need. I hope I could help, and you keep going for that job, you'll get it!

Answer 3

You are wrong! Not a Complex life. Stressful? Yes. Emotionally trying? Yes. Lots of anxiety? Yes. Feel lost? Trapped? Nowhere to turn? Having to ask for help on the Internet? Suicidal? Don't want to burden your mother or family.

This is a very hard situation that you are in, you know you need help but no longer know if you have the energy or strength to seek it. Choices that you know are not good are starting to look like answers.

I would like to say I know how you feel, but I can't, everyone's hell is different. I have been dealing with my own version for a couple of years now, have had to resort to therapy and meds. Oh yes, I am not rich, lucky to qualify for aid. You might. You are not alone, there are people who care.
Please try to save yourself, email me if you would like, I have no answers but I sure can listen.

Answer 4

You're in one hellava rut. And of course you're only relating all your negative happenings. Surely you've had something positive in the last 5 years?!
And if you truly havent, then I hafta say, stop using all your time to feel sorry for yourself. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps, and start doing something.......anything.........At least ONE thing to improve your situation.
Dont sign the papers til you enlist the services of a good attny so that your husband provides you with alimony! That will enable you the opportunity to seek employment to match your degree as well as some financial independence.
Now, go to it girl!!!

Answer 5

just stick with it hun! i've gone through tons of crap in my life...and it all seems to suck and you want your life to end..but then something wonderful happens and its worth all the crap! dont worryy...just look to Jesus...and stick with it...it will all work out in the end!