another woman during this time.He told me he no longer loved me and after much hurt and pain i filed for divorce in May.He left the other woman 3 wks ago and says he wants me back.Should i trust him and take him back or is it too late for us and we are doomed to fail again?
2006-07-01 12:56:38 · 16 answers · asked by kcjcac 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Not necessarily some marriages can survive and even thrive after infidelity. If you love him and want to give him a second chance, insist on marriage counseling. Only you can decide whether or not you will be able to trust him. He needs to know that broken trust has to be earned back.
2006-07-01 13:01:50 · answer #1 · answered by sosassy70 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely NOT. First, if he did it before, he'll do it again, and even if he doesn't do it again (which he will) you will never trust him and everytime he goes out without you and runs late, you'll be wondering if he's cheating on you and everytime you go out without him, he'll think you're cheating on him-because he's done it so now he's worried too. Plus, if you take him back you're just showing him that no matter how horribly he treats you, you will always forgive him so he can continue to walk all over you and hurt you.
But most importantly, you don't deserve to be treated like that. If you want to be in a relationship with somebody that cheats on you, hurts you and treats you like garbage, why don't you just walk down the street and pick someone walking by you since I"m sure you can easily find someone who will treat you just as badly in a second.
Do whatever you want, but personally, I would much rather be single and happy with self-respect, then in a marriage where I am being betrayed and walked-over.
2006-07-01 13:10:44 · answer #2 · answered by Fran33 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably thought the grass was greener on the other side and once he was over there for awhile realized that it was not. I say take him back and give him another chance. But first have a long talk about the situation so that you can be assured that it won't happen again. You need to have him tell you what happend all of a sudden to make him love you again and want to be with you again. Just be careful with your heart. It's going to be hard to trust him again. I would also strongly advise counseling for boh of you individually and the two of as a couple.
2006-07-01 13:02:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you'll find help here. You must find out what went wrong and try to fix it. You will also need to build up a new relationship with your partner. You may feel the trust has gone and I don't think you will ever find it again. Take some time out together and talk to each other without shouting or blaming one another and see why he left and what he was looking for and how you can still be yourself to him and he to you. If you have children don't say "i'll do it for the kids" as that will make you feel worse, do it for you as well as him. good luck
2006-07-01 13:04:55 · answer #4 · answered by littlebrother1961 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he doesn't know what he wants. Do you know what you want? These are issues that should be explored by you and your future ex. Honest, open communication is the key. The truth may hurt, but it's better than letting a mid-life crisis turn another marriage into a statistic. Only you and he know for sure what your issues are (and there must be more than this or "this" wouldn't be an issue at all) and if you really want your marriage to succeed, you and he both may have to fight for it.
2006-07-01 13:34:31 · answer #5 · answered by rtanys 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm a guy and that i trust you thoroughly. I fee love lots greater beneficial than I do lust. Do issues together as friends, then artwork on a romantic relationship. Do you savour a similar meals, pastimes, stay shows, music and theater? It takes time and attempt to be certain in case you greater wholesome or no longer. in my opinion, i like the wonderment and anticipation of a a threat romantic relationship.
2016-11-01 01:43:14 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
heavens no you shouldn't take him back!! after what he has put you through? do you want to risk going through it all again for a guy that has proven he's no good. he wanted a vacation from his MARRIAGE so he could go screw around, he found out its not so great out there and wants you to take care of him now. you ask me he had his chance and he blew it and you deserve far better than him!! i always say going back to an ex is like putting spoiled milk back in the fridge and convincing yourself it will be better next week.
2006-07-01 13:01:25 · answer #7 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He left you for another woman and then left her for another woman (you) after three weeks! so what do you think? if you take him back how long do you think it will be before he leaves you for another woman again?I would say that it is not too late for you but if you have any sense at all then it is sure to late for him!
2006-07-01 13:07:27 · answer #8 · answered by misterbig356 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to know that every time he walks out that door or as a message on his phone that you are going to be suspicious. He needs to earn back your trust that can take up to two years. Make him aware that you need that time to recover if he is willing to accept this and let you work through your grief than work on it thirteen years is a long friendship to just give up on.
Look after yourself it’s not your job to heel his wounds.
2006-07-01 13:04:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please go for family counseling (both of you). He needs to go on his own too (his own therapy). The trust was broken. He needs to build that trust again. You have to be sure that it is not repeated. Start all over, date, go out for lunch or dinner. Your feelings were hurt and you don't want to get hurt again.
2006-07-01 13:03:58 · answer #10 · answered by jumping bean 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋