My wife's mom lives about 2 miles from us. She's always over at her house or goes over, even after I come home from work, she'll go over there. I don't feel like going over at all, not because i don't like her but i just wanna come home and chill, or chill at home on the weekends. She keeps demanding that I give her an explanation for why i don't wanna go, and i think her family demands her to give them an explenation too. I don't think i need to explain myself to anyone if i don't wanna go somewhere. We got into an argument about it, i keep telling her, "i don't wanna go" and i guess that's not good enough. What do you suggest?
2006-07-01 12:34:10 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Oh and by the way i ain't making her choose between me and her mom. I moved over 1000 miles away from home to comfort her cause that's what she wanted to be close to her mom.
2006-07-01 12:42:34 · update #1
Moving 1000 miles for her to be close to her mom should have been your first clue. Stop in have a beer or soda or whatever for 30 minutes, say hi, talk about how rough your day was and then politely excuse yourself to go home and take care of whatever, once a week wont kill ya man and if it makes your wife happy the benefits could far exceed any discomfort.
2006-07-01 12:48:17 · answer #1 · answered by blasted 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd sit down and have a serious conversation w/your wife about this. Just, I don't wanna go is not an answer. Tell her that when you come home you are tired & just want to relax for the next day. If she wants to go there everyday fine, but you need time to rest. Tell her that you don't mind going once in a while but not every day. Just tell her the truth and if she don't understand, then she's got a problem. I'd tell her family also so there will be no hard feelings
2006-07-01 19:47:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not okay for your wife to hang out at mom's house all the time esp not after you come home from work. Sounds like she still has a bit of growing up to do and her mom, if she had any sense, would send her daughter to her husband.
You should have a talk with the mom sometime. Not confrontational... just ask her whether she thinks its okay that a "wife" spends as much time at mom's. See what she says. Try and enlist the mothers help in getting your wife to grow up a bit.
Good luck.
2006-07-01 19:50:51 · answer #3 · answered by scubalady01 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you are tired and need to unwind? Do you enjoy the home you two made together and would like to spend time there? Do you think it is great that she loves her mom and goes to see her and you like her family, but you LOVE your new family? Can she compromise on you going with her to her mother's one day a week or something since she can still go without you? It is great you are not making her choose as you should not. Mothers and daughters have a wierd bond and she may feel torn between her mother and you because she wants to spend time with both of you even though you are not making her choose. Ask her why it is so important you go with her to her mother's every time she does?
2006-07-02 00:11:30 · answer #4 · answered by Jill M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
While you do need to be considerate of your wife and your in-laws, you are certainly NOT required to go over nightly.
You and your wife should be learning how to mesh together, building a life of your own. Normal parents would not demand nor expect their kid to keep coming home, day in and day out.
You owe them no explanation. Again, normal people respect each other's boundaries and don't expect you to be there so consistently. Be kind, but be firm and stand up for yourself.
You really need to live further away, to help your wife break the apron strings. She sounds like she is too attached to her mother and not enough to you.
2006-07-01 19:49:34 · answer #5 · answered by Jennywocky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is not exactly advice...you gotta make your own choice
but what I would do is:
when the argument starts...try to get a calm and straight answer from wife to this question
"is this my home as well as yours?"
keep at it until she says yes, don't get fooled by diversion.
then I would say firmly:
"when I come home from my job to my home...I want to do the things that I want to do. As an adult I have that right. I will assist you where-ever possible to help you do the things that you want to do but I am not going to be told how to spend my time. Take it or leave it."
2006-07-01 19:54:49 · answer #6 · answered by leadbelly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd tell her I work all damn week and on my days off I am staying home and kicking back in my house. Do I tell you that you can't go see your mom? No I don't. So back off and accept the fact that I'm staying home when I want. If I wanted to spend time with your mother, I would of married her.
2006-07-01 19:42:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell her parents after you get off of work yould like to come home and relax but i can say one thing dont ever make her choose between you and her mom i choose him and i love him but i wish i would have done something different, now i live 500 miles from her and i miss her so. well good luck
2006-07-01 19:40:58 · answer #8 · answered by Crimson_Skies 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you are married its called being mature stop being a little boy and tell your wife and get off this egostistical high horse. inlaws dont need to know but your wife has ever right to know what happens with you and why. i bet you wouldnt like it if she wouldnt talk to you thats what so many peoples marriages fail becuase they feel they can live there lives as single people
2006-07-01 19:41:15 · answer #9 · answered by uabgurl22 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try living at least 50 miles away.
2006-07-01 19:39:12 · answer #10 · answered by onestickyrice 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋