I love my wife and she is driving me crazy. She has always been "moody", but lately its ALL THE TIME. Unless I am doing something for her at that exact second...she is pissed at me. She tells me she loves me, but then she tells me she'll give me the divorce she knows I want. (I have NEVER said I want a divorce...she has always said I'm going to divorce her since "she doesn't believe in it") Anyway...I took her entire family to the beach for a week. (13 of them) and paid for everything. ($10K+) She got pissed at me because she got lost and I was leading the caravan (even though she forgot to charge her cell phone) and I left the place and found her when she called from a borrowed phone. She was pissed at me the remaining 3 days of the vac. no matter what I said. She said she wanted to be nice to me, but she just couldn't. This ahas continued since we've gotten home and she won't talk other than to threaten me. What should I do...I'm getting to the end of my patience?
2006-07-01 12:25:28 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
oh wow ...
1. is she going through the changed?
2. is she getting enough "attention"?
3. when was the last time you took her out on a date?
4. when was the last time both of you just had "couple" time?
5. does she have interests that she can join a club?
6. have you asked her how she feels about herself lately?
good luck there are various things that could be going on ... if there is anything on the above list that you havent been able to do I'd try that first ..
Best of luck!
2006-07-01 12:30:33 · answer #1 · answered by wanderinglife 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Please read this......First of all how long have you been married, how old are you guys and you said that the way she is acting is all the time? Does your wife work, or is she a stay at home wife? Mom? Do you work like all the time and hardly have any time to spend with her and the kids, if any? All these are factors in what could be bothering her, how was she when you first got married? was she angry but not like now and didnt let things bother her, if she is a stay at home wife i'm guessing that maybe she feels like she hasnt accomplished much in her life and is really upset with herself and takes it out on you.. She probably has too much time on her hands or if she is working and has the ability to talk to other people, then its deeper..maybe someone is talking to her about how good they have and she is jealous and wants a divorce b/c she can do better alone or she is interested in someone else or something else... Did you take the vacation just b/c it was well deserved or did you take the vacation to see if it would help things between you two? She is blaming you for her being in her own position, my advice to you is to let her vent how she fells but dont get too emotional over it see where you stand and then try couples therapy either through church or else where...I would hate for you two to divorce especially if there are children involved, but if you have tried everything you can to make it work and she still doesnt come to the realization that she needs to grow up and work as a team then you do what you have to do and then she will see she was the one that messed up, oh she could also have very bad menstrual disorder PMS... so take her to get checked out and if you have ruled out all those then guy I hate to tell you she just doesnt want to be with you....
God Bless you and I wish you the best of luck...
Married 15 years to the same man
2006-07-01 20:06:58 · answer #2 · answered by *butterfly* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are clueless when it comes to women. It's not your fault though...all men are. It was stupid of you to pay that much money on a vacation. People are starving in this world...what a waste. That is probably what she is really mad about. She works hard for the money you just wasted. You should have spent it on bills and groceries. Be more considerate and responsible. Also, she probably didn't want to drive in the first place. If you had let her ride with you, and if you had made it a romantic vacation just the two of you, she wouldn't think you want a divorce. You should spend quality time with her alone, and spend some money on something she wants. Next time you take her on vacation, let her pick the spot, and then drive with her in your front passenger seat. It is obvous that the incident made her feel vonerable and left out of your life. She thinks you did it on purpose to get rid of her because you are such a jerk all the time. Quit being so selfish and quit bragging about how much money you spent!
2006-07-01 19:39:43 · answer #3 · answered by sldolphins 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's a tough one.
I usually don't like to suggest medical intervention but in this case...drugs may help.
Before that you could try a number of things.
If it is not a family habit to consume alcohol...you really ought to.
I suggest a large glass of red wine before the evening meal twice a week. drinking during the meal is only for the experienced.
And if she can't find a way to relax more...maybe she needs a hobby or a sport to burn off her tension.
Often, grumpiness within the family is a sign of isolation...she needs to get out more. mingling with other adults will take some of the rough edge off her personality.
If the children are grown, encourage her to get a job.
That's the clean stuff.
Not for the faint-hearted:
tie her wrists and ankles to the bedposts and perform prolonged oral on her...you lick her down "there".
good luck.
2006-07-01 19:41:05 · answer #4 · answered by leadbelly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
man! you are in a bad relationship, you should be getting out of your marriage as much as you are putting in, she is just trying to force you to get the divorce that way she can continue feeling like the victim, and make you the villain. This marriage is on it's way out, but she is waiting to make you the scapegoat, think about weather or not you want to put up with this crap and for how long, because she's going to do it until you leave her. I'm sure she's already planning her court case, check it out and good luck!
2006-07-01 19:33:13 · answer #5 · answered by Richo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She sounds like she is lashing out at you. We have a tendancy to hurt those closest to us. I'd ask you whether she has been hurt in her life by a loved one, who should have been someone she could count on forever, but they somehow failed her. She sounds as if she's testing you to see if you'll leave her too.
These are called self-fullfilling prophecies. i.e. She constantly proclaims that one day you'll leave her, then behaves so badly for so long that eventually, you do leave her. When that happens, not understanding that she created the problem, she'll look you square in the face and say "I Told You SO".
You need to tell her that you love her, but you understand that she is hurt from her life experiences and you want to get counseling, separately and together because you want to be with her forever.
2006-07-01 19:35:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She might be suffering from depression. Take her to a doctor and explain her symptoms and he might prescribe her some medication. My husband and I went through something similar. I was always pissed off and down. But ever since I found Effexor, we both feel better.
2006-07-01 19:30:37 · answer #7 · answered by makingthisup 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your wearing the shackles. For anyone that wrote how she treats you is fine they must not care for someones self respect.
I have no problem letting a woman go if she decides to go psycho. I have self respect and there is only so much I would deal with before I give my love to someone that cares. I'm sure she would have a problem if you were treating her that way.
2006-07-01 19:50:20 · answer #8 · answered by ahauntedhistory 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask for forgiveness! Admit your flaws. Tell her you will try to do better and then do it for her. Not for 100 people who will praise you for your mighty kindness.
Use words of love. Words of giving her attention. Words of being interested in her desires. Buy her a card and a sweet flower.
One flower. Not 100 flowers to show off! Just one sincere flower and a true act of forgiveness, on the knees, and be sincere!
I've got more love tips for you too.
2006-07-01 19:32:32 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like your wife has mood disorders. Maybe she can see her doctor or something. Does she love you? Maybe she wants out and can't tell you that. I'd ask and if she does, get out before you go crazy. Pouting is for children not adults. Maybe she just needs to grow up.
2006-07-01 19:29:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋