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baby and the house. He pays the majority of the bills because I do not get PAID for the work I am doing. I do however still make money doing small jobs and pay my cell phone bill, groceries, gas etc. He is constantly making rude comments about how he is sick of paying for everything. How do I make him understand that he has a responsibility now to do just that? If he wants to stay home and take care of our son, I will gladly go to work. But he won't do that. What do I do?

2006-07-01 12:07:06 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Other - Family & Relationships

15 answers

there's really nothing you can do unless he wants you to put the baby in daycare and go to work. You need to sit down and come o some kind of agreement because it's really not right how he is acting. I mean at least you still work and pay a few bills, so what's he complaining about. He should have thought about before having sex with you, no offense but how did he think it was going to be once you had the baby. it's hard i know my sister has 2 kids and once she had the kids it was hard for her to work so her fiancee had to make all the money and pay bills. she does work a job but it also only pays a few things like groceries or stuff for the house and when she got tired of him saying stuff to her she told him she'll get a full time and put the kids in daycare and he told her he doesn't want that. I think they just want to rub it ur face that their paying the bills. But hey they don't want to change the crap diapers or clean the throw up.

2006-07-01 12:39:43 · answer #1 · answered by jean22005 2 · 3 1

Having a baby is a great strain on a relationship. Both of your stress levels are probably at the breaking point. It's a tough situation. You are right to expect your boyfriend to value the contributions you are making. Being a stay at home mom and doing small jobs on top of that is not an easy thing. What you're doing is just as important as what he's doing. Some guys just don't get it no matter how hard you try and explain it. I think what would be best is to go see a therapist, some unbiased third party who could help the communication in your relationship better. I hope you can work it out.

2006-07-01 12:15:33 · answer #2 · answered by Girasol 5 · 0 0

Studies have shown that stay at home moms or dads do the work of 2 full time jobs. See if he is up for the challenge on one of his days off with a list of things you do in a typical day while you have a mom's day out. Make it an appealing challenge. Fighting and bickering doesn't work. After wards, there may be an overdue mutual respect for each other.Be sure he has access to a relative over the phone only. He may find himself overwhelmed. No "I told you so!" Though tempting. Go out to dinner afterward alone without the baby (ask a friend, or a relative, or a neighbor). Good luck.

2006-07-01 12:23:00 · answer #3 · answered by firestarter 6 · 0 0

o man another sob story let me start off by first saying hes probably implying that you need to get a job and help him out yes there will probably be cost for day care but alot of that is returned back threw taxes its not only his responsability to provide but for you as well and sitting at home taking care of one kid isnt that big of a task try three or 4 you think you have it hard imagine every day when he comes home hes worn down and tired and you on the other hand had a few task here and there and then sat your butt down watching court tv eating a bon bon im sick of women like you all you do is drag on your man when they ask for support even if you could get a job and have him stay home do you think you could get a better paying job then him lol no burger king is not going to do it lady and here is another thing why is your personal income going to your personal needs (cell phone) what do you need a cell phone for if your at home all the time? Sounds confusing to me get your sh it straight

2006-07-01 12:14:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

On his day off, take off. Meet some friends, shop, go to lunch, a movie and stay out all day. Don't come home until the baby is in bed then point out everything that hasn't been done! If he doesn't get it then, he's just a jerk that you are better off without. He can pay child support and you can find a more understanding (and enlightened) partner.

2006-07-01 12:11:20 · answer #5 · answered by mab5096 7 · 0 0

ok, alot of men say stuff like that when we are stressed, or worried. my best advise would be too continue doing what your doing, and possibly get a part time job, maybe working at a daycare, so that you could watch your son and work at the same time. then you could help pay the bills. however, if he really is stressed or worried, he will find something else to complain about, no matter how stupid. its just the way we are. sorry. and congrats on your baby boy!

2006-07-01 12:13:10 · answer #6 · answered by Marines 4 Life 3 · 0 0

I think your heading down a rocky road, has he stayed home with the baby for any period of time? Try leaving him at home with the baby for the day and go to work, maybe he'll appreciate how much work you put into this, if he won't he may likely split on you and the baby, from what you said it sounds like he's pretty selfish, good luck

2006-07-01 12:14:42 · answer #7 · answered by Richo 2 · 0 0

Make an excuse to leave the house for a few hours and leave the baby with him....and the house a mess. Stay gone for several hours. He'll get the message that it's not all fun staying at home with a kid.

2006-07-01 12:12:24 · answer #8 · answered by mazey1967 2 · 0 0

realize that you had a baby with an irresponsible idiot, start taking steps to protect yourself and your son for the day when he caves completely and bails on the two of you. also find out what daycare costs and let him figure out that pretty much one of your salaries would go towards paying for that alone and your son wouldn't have the benefit of time with a parent, then tell him to grow up, if you play the fiddle you gotta dance and if he didn't want the responsibility of a family he should have used a condom or two. tell him this is what we call being a GROWN UP, spell it for him and speak slowly so he can understand, its done it can never be undone so he might as well quit whining and deal with it.

2006-07-01 12:12:22 · answer #9 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0 0

i mean being a mother at 15 is way hard for me i have gone through a lot my boyfriend dropped out he makes a lot of money he pays everything i cant do anything at all just babysit and then i have to go to skool he does the same thing but i stick up and say what would you like to take care of the baby or what its so in possible for him to stay with the babay at all...i tell him dont say **** to me at all cause at the end im working hard as you are...just tell him whats up with you.........

2006-07-01 12:13:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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