Outline: Married in 9/04. In 12/04 I rec'd a call from him stating that he would be filing for divorce because he found a woman who supported his newest interest in motorcross racing. (He is 47 now, I am 40) I have never been an enthusiest of the sport, but I have never objected either. Even w/ the thousands of $ it costs 2 be envolved. The only thing I won't do is go sit in some God Forsaken desert by myself waiting for his return. Jan. 05 passed, no divorce. May '05 I find out that he has taken a job in Sac., Ca for 4 months. OK with me we need the break. Then he decides that this will be permenant. He claims he will move "with or without" myself and our then 7 yr old son. Then 3 months later he claims that he moved 2 make a better life for his family and that he always intended on us 2 move w/ him. I don't believe him, or trust him. He grew up in Sac., and he now lives w/ his folks. Housing is twice the cost, and he now expects me 2 work 2 help pay for this. I am fed up w/ his game!
2006-07-01 11:40:54 · 19 answers · asked by knrsits 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think you have answered your own question. Now you need to work on your and your son's future.
2006-07-01 11:42:56 · answer #1 · answered by Curious1usa 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The answer to your initial question is "Hell no!"
Document everything that you and your son have gone through with him and the more detailed the better. Find a good divorce attorney who will take your case on contingency if possible as you are strapped for cash. Your case sounds solid although it is a one sided view point. The fact that you have your son and have not forsaken him on a whimsy like he did is great for you and him. Gain sole custody and child support. Any alimony is up to you, but do you really want him to screw with your alimony the way he screwed with your heart and your son's heart? Just get what is necessary for you and your son to move on and leave it at that. He will try to mess with your heart and mind so be alert to this. Keep up a brave front for your son as he is too young to fully comprehend this whole situation. He may even try to play your son against you. File a TRO on him and get sole custody ASAP if possible. If he doesn't comply with the courts when all is said and done, then take your story to the news, the radio and the Internet. Deadbeat dad's are not very popular in this day and age. It may even garner you some attention and sympathy from agencies and people who can be of assistance to you and your boy. But let's just take this one step at a time. File for the TRO citing emotional and mental abuse towards you and your young, impressionable son. While awaiting for him to be served, look for a lawyer who is willing to work on a contingency basis or a reasonable fee that you can afford. Get it in writing too. It will be a long and bumpy road with much disclosure about both of your past behaviors and such. Be prepared for a battle. Above anything else, you are doing this for the betterment of your son first and you second. Never lose sight of that. I wish you the best of luck and happiness for you and your son.
2006-07-01 16:22:15 · answer #2 · answered by The Good Humor Man 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he decided the fate of your marriage when he walked away. My husband did the same thing (except I got the news in a note). He is now playing an emotional head game with you. You have two choices here, you can continue in the "game" or you can call it quits. Let me give you my two cents worth, let the game end now. He doesn't know what he wants, and he wants you to wait around until he does figure it out (trust me..he will NEVER figure it out). If he doesn't have enough guts to file and get it over with, then YOU do it. You and your son need to make a life for yourself. It's evident he isn't capable of being a grown up. Let him continue living with his parents, you as the only adult in this situation, need to be making wise decisions for your son. Living as nomads is no life for a child. You keep doing what your doing, only without him. You can do it. It's just time for the head games to end, and if it's you who quits the game first, then so be it. I wish you all the luck in the world.
2006-07-01 11:58:38 · answer #3 · answered by carolscreation 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, very much so. They decide that they will not work together as a couple and that decision hurts the one who is trying. Your husband is playing mind games that is simple as day. Stop him in his tracks by telling him no more and you want him to make a decision and stick to it and if not you are out of this equation of a marriage. Never allow a man to have that much control over you because he will use it to whatever he wants and not what is good for the marriage. This has to keep your son very unsettled about what is going on with his parents.
2006-07-01 12:17:32 · answer #4 · answered by Krinta 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see trouble ,and he doesn't have any money if he could show you some kind of living there yes go but I don't know
maybe you could visit and see how you like it
Be carefull and check it out if you have the money
Because I know about this my husband don't work for three years just stay home on the computer while I work and pay for the bills ,he work now and then now but one when I want give him money becarefull Dear and check it out first
2006-07-01 11:46:50 · answer #5 · answered by Linda 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds very childish of him and if I was him I would stay and be a family. Sounds to me like he is running and he has no intentions in staying with you...he only NEEDs you to help support him. I would NOT move with him and let him deal with his own life. If he wanted you apart of his own then he would have NEVER left you for some person who likes motorcross or whatever it is he is interested in. You might need some help yourself, but it certainly shouldnt be from someone who cant even consider you in his life aspirations.
2006-07-01 11:46:09 · answer #6 · answered by jzbebegyrl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really should consult an attorney because some states have community property laws and you could be liable for the debt he is running up. He's not proven anything other than the fact that he's selfish. Get a good attorney and get out.
2006-07-01 11:45:17 · answer #7 · answered by Starla_C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has taken his path and you have yours. It is time for you to move on . It will be a hard thing to do but one will take a situation for so long and then finally you will say "Enough "
Sounds like the time is now
Good luck and find yourself a man who you will share more interests with and appreciates you and your son
2006-07-01 12:11:12 · answer #8 · answered by mick987g 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marrage is a partnership according to our Judeo-Christion ethic. By definition this calls for communication between the partners. it does not appear that your husband communicates as much as he announces decisions he has made based on his needs and interests with little regard for you or your child. As a former free fall parachutist and grandfather this guy adds up to a brat who needs some fatherly advice. Grow up and man up. The boy needs a dad to be there and care about his kid and his woman, not his bike and leathers.
2006-07-01 11:53:56 · answer #9 · answered by Airborne Traveler 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, since you are finally fed up with this game, get out of it! Get yourself an attorney and divorce the sorry SOB! He is not supporting you emotionally or, it seems, financially. He is just a sorry excuse for a man, and I am sure that his parents are very proud of him (sarcasm).
2006-07-01 13:09:58 · answer #10 · answered by beckie g 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one spouse can not decide the others fate. Do not fall into his trap. He doesn't even know what he wants and he is a loser. Leave him alone and do what is right for you and your son. Sounds like there is no communitcation and that is the key to any great relationship.
2006-07-01 11:46:09 · answer #11 · answered by themisslita 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋