I have been with the "father" of our unborn baby now for about a year and a half... we planned on getting married this summer and we found out that we were pregnant about 3 weeks ago. Now he says he wants paternity testing done.. I know he is the father and it just hurts that he is doing this!! I will let him have the test done to prove to him that he is the fther.. but then what?? and am I going to have to pay for the test??
2006-07-01 10:43:52 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
should I even try to stay to make it work if he is questioning me now... I've never been unfaithful
2006-07-01 10:48:04 · update #1
He wants it done so he should pay.
2006-07-01 10:46:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Go ahead and have the test done, but make it perfectly clear that he will be paying for the test. You know the baby is his, but when the test comes back, he will appreciate the fact that you understood the need he had, to "Know" the baby was his. Apparently he doesn't trust, and it may have nothing to do with you at all. Perhaps he wants to always KNOW that this baby is his. He will never have to worry about someone taking the child away from him.
There are so many women that claim the baby they are having belongs to their boyfriend or husband, when in fact it's someone Else's child. Down the road the baby's mother gets mad and says the baby isn't his and then takes the child away. He probably doesn't want to deal with anything like this in the future. Not that you would do that, but it does happen.
2006-07-01 10:54:05 · answer #2 · answered by Healthnut 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men are always listening to other people, one of his family members or anyone might be telling him to get the test. Get the test and let him pay for the test. He might be looking at the baby and not see himself in the child. Several children look like past relatives rather than the parent. He might not want another baby that soon. Ask him and find out what he wants.Ask him what is going on with the relationship. Men stress out alot when children come. He was probably just starting to be able to deal with one baby and the two might be to much.
2006-07-01 10:53:28 · answer #3 · answered by robbyk310 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how hurt you mest feel to have your future husband think that you may have cheated and Im so sorry to hear that. Firstly, ask yourself, why does he think that? Have you ever cheated on him in the past? If yes, then I dont think he's out of line for asking you for a paternity teste because once someone betrays you once, it's difficult to regain that trust again. Eventually, they do regain trust in you after awhile, but sometimes it could take years for that pain to heal. However, if you never cheated on him and he's still asking, well then have a chat with him and ask him why he thinks this child may not be his. Maybe he's been hurt in the past. If that's the case, try and help him to see that you're not like his ex. That you love and respect him enough to never hurt and betray him like that. Tell him that you're willing to have the test done if it makes him feel better and more secure, but also let him know that it does in fact hurt you to see that he doesnt fully trust you. Try to communicate more with eachother and try to see where the trust barrier was damaged. Try to fix and move on with your lives. Maybe you could even consider counseling.
As far as who pays for the test, Ive heard of couples making agreements, for example, if the baby turns out to be his, like you know it will, then you two can agree that he will pay, and if for some reason, it turns out that it's not, then you will agree to pay. That way, he will be reassured and Im sure he will have no problem with paying for it, and if you're 100% sure it's his then you have nothing to worry about right? However, if you're 100% sure it's his, why even worry about who's going to pay...if you're getting married then your money is his and his is yours so it shouldnt matter. Just as long as both of you are reassured and happy going into the marriage, then that's all that matters. Good luck and congratulations on your new addition to the family!
2006-07-01 10:59:29 · answer #4 · answered by hapi82 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is insecure then he is probably the one who is being unfaithful, let him have the paternity test once the baby is born but make him pay for it.I wish you good luck since I too am pregnant
2006-07-01 10:52:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough one. If he is wanting the test done then he will be the one to pay for it. You told him you would let him, you didn't need to pay for it too! How sad is this. I wish you the best and hope that he will come around and be what he needs to be for you. Don't let this behavior go on for long because this is only the beginning of a long hectic relationship.
2006-07-01 10:51:15 · answer #6 · answered by ddy'sgrl77 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm unlikely to decide like each and every the different jerks on right here. blunders ensue. you in all threat won't desire a paternity attempt. If the organic and organic father extremely needed you to get an abortion, then I doubt he will attempt to project the toddler being your husband's in case you have made it standard to him which you do no longer desire him in contact. He replaced into in all threat basically demanding which you're able to desire baby help from him or something. i do no longer think of you're able to ought to besides, in case you and your husband the two say to all and sundry that he's the father, then it is not proper what the different guy says. reliable for you for telling your husband the reality. reliable for him for taking the toddler in as his very own. That shows that he extremely loves you. reliable for the two one among you for working all of this out. To me, yalls' marriage sounds greater appropriate than maximum on the quantity of forgiveness your husband has and the quantity of honesty which you have, and which you do no longer circulate away on the drop of a hat like maximum human beings. yet i'm hoping you discovered your lesson and could never cheat in this style of reliable guy back. reliable luck interior the destiny.
2016-11-01 01:36:23 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, if he wants a paternity test make him pay for it....Sounds like a great guy, doesn't even believe the baby is his...
2006-07-01 10:46:36 · answer #8 · answered by Jen G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will know what your blood type is and what your baby's is after the birth.
If your husband doesn't know or isn't sure what his blood type is he can find out by donating blood. He'll help save a life and they will let him know his blood type ... free.
Than go here: http://www.genetree.com/resource/aboBloodTypeCalculator.php
Is there something you aren't sharing? Why would your fiancee even ask? There has to be more to the story.
Maybe he's trying to piss you off ... enough not to get married.
2006-07-01 11:00:36 · answer #9 · answered by Sam 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he wants the Parernity test done then he shoukd pay for it and the only reason he is doing it is because you are probably sleeping with someone other then your own man.
2006-07-01 16:39:15 · answer #10 · answered by Carrie L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is probably being safe rather than sorry. I don't know about your state, but in VA the loser pays. If its his kid he has to pay. if its not then you have to pay for it.
Don't take it personally, any man in his right mind would have a paternity test done now-a-days.
2006-07-01 10:50:16 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋