2006-07-01 09:11:14 · 30 answers · asked by Rodney 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you're still worrying about this 10 years into your marriage, it sounds like this may be haunting you. Decide which is harder - keeping this secret from your husband or dealing with his reaction.
You were a teenager when this happened and I'm guessing, based on the fact that you never told your husband, you are ashamed of the decision you made - and you may not have forgiven yourself. Be careful not to assume that your husband will be ashamed of you as well, although you do know him better than anyone. If he is familiar with the circumstances you faced as a teenager and the things going on in your life at the time, maybe you could slowly disclose information and gauge his reaction.
Obviously he may be upset at first, but this may be more to do with this secret being kept from him. If that's the case, he should forgive you if he realises that you have now put all your cards on the table.
If you don't think he will forgive you, then you will need to decide for yourself if you are willing to lose him over this. Only you know him well enough to decide, but I wish you all the best with your decision.
2006-07-02 11:03:31 · answer #1 · answered by Dusty 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The question is, why didn't you tell him before and why do you suddenly feel the need to tell him now? If he truly loves you and you have a great relationship, you should have told him at the beginning of your relationship. He will probably be upset that you didn't tell him before, and more so if there are other important things you haven't told him.
Think about what his response may be - you know him better than anyone else, and if you do decide tell, be prepared for him to be angry initially. Letting it out may make you sleep better at night, but it may cause a period of resentment and distrust if he doesn't take it well. It may be better to let sleeping dogs lie.
2006-07-01 17:26:51 · answer #2 · answered by Princess Lueji 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe the question could be - why are you thinking about telling him now? It might be useful for you to take some time out to look at your motivations for wanting to disclose this information. Have you someone you trust to talk it through with? What do you want to achieve by disclosing? Don't rush into a decision on this one. Good luck, whatever you decide sweetie.
2006-07-01 16:41:03 · answer #3 · answered by butterfly_grrl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are having problems having kids as a result of your past abortion and it is likely you will not be able to have kids then tell him so that both of you wont be losers. Otherwise no need. Let sleeping dog lie.
2006-07-01 16:57:35 · answer #4 · answered by patoliko 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a marriage needs to based on honesty...you were a teenager..it was done outside of the marriage...ideally you should have told him before your marriage but since that isn't the case yes, you need to tell him, apologize for not telling him from the beginning, talk to him about your reasons for not bringing this to the forefront, and most of all your abortion issue needs to resolved between you and God.
2006-07-08 02:03:27 · answer #5 · answered by Jessica 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it's something you really need to say, then tell him. I believe the best policy is honesty. If you don't have trust and love in a relationship, what do you have? One of the best things about being married is having someone to talk to who doesn't judge you for your mistakes in life. Good luck.
2006-07-01 16:22:41 · answer #6 · answered by heidielizabeth69 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I made that mistake and my husband has thrown that in my face any chance he gets...."oh..you don't like my porn addiction? Miss Morale? The person who had an abortion" I would have taken that back and I would advise you against it as when an argument happens he might throw that back at you....
Listen to me...somebody who's been there.
2006-07-01 16:18:33 · answer #7 · answered by susanstudio2000 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was told that two of his former girlfriends had abortions, one without his knowledge and one with his consent and encouragement. I can't look at him the same way knowing that two of his children were killed just because it was convenient. Do not burden him with this information. There is no point in sharing this information, except with your Gyn.
2006-07-01 21:12:00 · answer #8 · answered by lily 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. What is the point after all this time?
He will only want to know why you didn't tell him earlier in the relationship.
2006-07-01 16:18:20 · answer #9 · answered by monkeyface 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel the need, but its a little bit late to drag the past into the present and it might possibly ruin your future
2006-07-01 16:14:58 · answer #10 · answered by Lil mama 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋