I've been marry for 29 years,but the spark is not there.what should i do?

Answer 1

do your best"both" to keep what you still have ,try not to loose it;then the moment will come ,don't upset your life.easy

Answer 2

Over that period of time, the fire of a new relationship IS going to fade, but it should have mellowed into a nice, comfortable and loving relationship.

Is that part still there?

If you're just not interested in sex, there may actually be other reasons for it. Talk to your doctor. Hormone fluctations can completely kill your libido, as can other medical conditions. Sometimes the fix is very simple.

So rule that out first, then start making an effort. Sometimes you have to "fake it until you make it."

It can take some effort to bring back the sexy spark but it is very doable. Dress sexy and make a nice romantic dinner in the empty house. Play and have some fun. Maybe drink a little wine and just let nature take its course.

That often does it. Really.

Answer 3

Why isn't it there? Is it you, him, or a combination? Figure that out and then what you can do to get the spark back. Are you wanting advice on whether to get out of the marriage, or advice on how to get the spark back?
Wanting to opt out of a marriage because you're bored is bull.
Does he beat you? Verbally abuse you? Cheat on you?
Do you ***** at him constatnly? Made it a practice to withhold sex from him over the marriage?
If the answers to these are no, consider yourself lucky, your marriage has been a whole lot better than most of the ones you see in this site.
The 'spark' tends to disappear, especially after 29 years. As people grow used to each other, grow more comfortable, more content, they get complacent. It takes a lot of work to keep a marriage exciting, to keep it sexually charged. I can't tell you how to put the spark back in..either talk to him and figure it out between the two of you, or see a marriage counselor.

Answer 4

Do something to relight it. Set up a romantic dinner by candle light in the back yard on a nice starry night or a bath you can both get into together and set the mood. 29 years is a lot to just throw away because of a spark that hasn't been lit in a while.

Answer 5

Sounds like you and him got so comfortable. That your romance be came just a plain routine. So the candle that once burn romance, had burnt out already.
If you want to light that burnt out candle. Try some fantasies. Spice it up a bit. Take on romance in a new way. Try doing romantic dinners again. Take a hot bubble bath together. Go on a a romantic getaway.
But then again, you may want to get out it. Have you discuss the problem with him ? Maybe give it another chance, before calling the marriage quits. If you have, and a second chance is not in the future.
Then have him or your self to leave. Get out, and find yourself again.

Answer 6

If you truly are in love with this person find something!!!!!!!!!!!! I was married 31 years and recently divorced and I am very much in love with my x still. Always will be. Our situation got to were it is because lack of communication, lack of communication, lack of communication. Get what I am trying to say. When someone knocked on my door to serve me divorce papers, that was the 1st real clue that the best thing in my life was over. Of course we were having problems, not big ones, just everyday little ones, and I just assumed we would work it out sooner or later. I was completely wrong. He never verbally said how unhappy he was, he kept this inside and when he did, by serving me, it was to far gone for him. So I say, communicate, and definitely set time alone just for the two of you. I can not tell if you are male or female, but coming from me a female, make sure you let your man know you appreciate him. This is big. I did, just did not tell him enough. Good luck. You know I just realized the biggest, most important thing. Invite God into your lives and all things can be done with him on your side. I always went to church and such but we both got away from our spiritual path. Now, through my depression, knowing and seeking God is what makes my heart smile. Praise the Lord.

Answer 7

It is interesting the number of people who advise you to just quit.

Pretty poor advice.

My wife and I have been married for 46 years and together for 51 years. There have been good times and not so good times. The “spark” as you have called it, has been high and it has been low, but you have to work at it and there times when both of you are working at it at the same time and other times when it seems you are going opposite directions.

The question you have to ask yourself is, “is it worth the effort?”

Think about the future. When your 80 and setting in the rocker on the front porch, who is it you want in the rocker beside you?

Answer 8

if you've been together that long and the spark has just gone consider yourself very lucky, happens to lots of folks after 9 months! you know how to put the spark back, change things up a little, go out together...date your husband again, new clothes some new cologne and something you've never tried before even if it has nothing to do with sex being interested in what someone is doing and doing interesting things with them will make 'everything' interesting again.

Answer 9

Put the spark back into it!!! Hell, honey you have been there 29yrs. So there must be something there because it has kept you there this long. Maybe seek marriage counciling it may help. I have a saying and it rings true the grass looks greener in the other pasture until you are over there grazing in it.

Answer 10

Nothing lasts forever, but to spark up your marriage, try reading the book "For You Both" by Lonnie Barbach, the leading sex therapist in the country. Cheap on Amazon.com, and worth every dime.....

Answer 11

well u should fallow your heart and if it leads u to a divorce roll with it and find someone that you have sparks with. But if you are really committed to this relationship then do something to make that old spark shine as bright as new.