what should i do?

Question

my 'best friend' calls me fat and says things like, that i don`t have much to look at.....she physically degrades me. and sometimes she calls me stupid.she says she`s playing and when i asked her if she does this b/c she feels bad about herself she said no.
i told her that it`s not funny and i can`t accept it as playing when she does it even tho it bothers me.ithat was an hour ago.i haven`t talked to her since then..but i know she`s gonna still do it.
she`s really mean to me and calls it playing.and she insults ppl that she knows i don`t want to hear them br insulted.every time i try to tell her something serious she laughs and/or changes the subject.she never listens ,she`s mean..and not a good friend.what should i do?

Answer 1

You can not help your friend with whatever she is going through. It is sad to lose a friend, I am sorry it has happened to to you. It may seem like there will never be anybody who could be so close to you, but you will make another "Best Friend" soon. I hope you don't hurt for too long, the pain does get less. God Bless.

Answer 2

Best Friend? Maybe because she knows that you call her your best friend she thinks she can say and do what she wants. Of course you allow her to keep doing this to you. Firstly I must say this your feelings are hurt, you feel degraded and most of all the confidence is gone. With that said, anyone who is mean and intentionally hurts another person, don't deserve anyone's friendship. She is insecure and not happy with her life, so in turn she's making your life a living hell. You are no longer going to take it from today!!. Let her know how you feel and I don't mean just saying "would you please stop" or "could you not say those things to me". No! not that way. Stand up for yourself, you are not fat nor are you stupid. You are special and a beautiful being no matter what your physical attributes are. It is not funny, and she is not playing, she insist on being this way to you, because she cannot do it to anyone else. Let it be known to her that she is a mean, ugly person for treating you the way she does, if she wants to remain friends with you it has to stop! All the insults and negative things have to go. With a straight face tell it to her. I presume that you all are young. If possible have your parent and her parent present. Don't let her have a word in and let it be known to her the way you feel. It seem to me that you do appreciate her friendship, so let her know this. Don't argue or debate anything with her. She is probably going to deny everything and not speak with you for a while. True friends always come back, if she feels any remorse at all she would be humble and return to the friendship..If not cheer up, you, more than likely did not need her in the first place. Always remember that everyone is special, no one deserves to be treated unkindly. We cannot help, but live amongst the mean, hateful ones, but eventually you'll be happy. Life is full of suprises, and we must make room for dissapointments.Be happy, little one!!!

Answer 3

Though I'm tempted to say 'give her a taste of her own medicine', I doubt that's what you wanted to do since you stayed with her for so long. Why not try doing this? Everytime she said something insulting, make it not worth her while. For example, if she mentions that you are fat again, answer her by saying "speaking of getting fat, i heard that people who are fat are less likely to get kidnapped that those who aren't" and so on (talk about it for as long as you can, make up some stuff as you go along, talk to her until her ears fall off), defuse her insult that way every time until she finds your long stories annoying (as you feel about her hurtful insults), and hopefully she will stop doing it when she sees that she is not getting the reaction she wanted.

Answer 4

Well, you seriously need a new class of friends.

Why do you want to be friends with someone who is mean and spiteful? Is she perfect? Somehow I doubt it, and I agree with you that the reason she may be doing this is because what she says to your and her other "friends" is actually a reflection of how she sees herself. And because you all are letting her continue with this awful behaviour, she will keep pushing the envelope.

She obviously does not value your friendship,especially if she refuses or belittles anything serious you may want to discuss with her.

Sit her down and set her straight, tell her that it isn't right or fair to degrade you(I'm willing to bet she will deny it or ignore it). If she still refuses to listen to you, then I'm afraid she never will and it will be better to cut your losses.

Good Luck to you.

Answer 5

don't talk to her anymore. Go out with your other friends and don't invite her. When she gets upset and asks what is wrong tell her. If she agrees to change give her another chance but do it slowly. See her only for a short period of time at first and see how she does. If she can vehave don't see her anymore.

Answer 6

If you have tried to tell her how you feel and she is still insulting you then maybe she shouldn't be your friend anymore. You could try telling her to grow up a little because she sounds really childish and is compinsating for her short comings by making other people feel bad.

Answer 7

Even if she is your friend you shouldn't be hanging around her.
Since you have told her numerous times to stop belittling you and she hasn't, it's time to find a new friend.
Someone who has to make their friends feel small and hurt them is suffering themselves.
If you really care for her as a friend, sit down and have a serious talk about it. Tell her you love her as a friend, but if she doesn't stop being a jerk, then your going to stop talking to her!

Answer 8

She is not a friend worth having.you deserve better friends that that!People degrade other people because it makes them feel good,superior.A lot of people thrive on being nasty.she says oh Im just playing.That is just an excuse to continue how she is treating you.put a stop to this.when someone treats us badly,they need discarded out of our life.

Answer 9

Well it is good to always have a few goofy friends.....but if she calls you fat, then tell her she is.... And then Go I'm just kidding- also try not to hang out as much but still hang out, Friendship shouldn't be slipt over this. :)

Answer 10

find new friends! Best friends don't put you down or insult you. This person has problems, and most likely has low self esteem or a crappy family life and is taking it out on you.