my dad and i had a rocky past, and he and my mom know that i want to walk down the aisle by myself. i have it all thought out to where it would be really nice and stuff, but lately my mom keeps saying stuff in front of my dad about how he's going to walk me down the aisle. and it's like she's putting me on the spot!! and when i say "MOM it's MY wedding and i am gonna walk down the aisle by myself!" she says something like "you'll change your mind" or "no one walks down the aisle by themselves, you'll look stupid!"
do i have the right to have my wedding the way i want it, or should i just give in and let my dad walk me down the aisle?
also, i want to have dancing at my wedding and she also says to my dad that he's going to have to take dancing lessons for the daddy/daughter dance. which i have made it very clear that there is no way in hell that i am going to do that with my dad.
why is she doing this to me??
2006-07-01 06:55:47 · 15 answers · asked by lifeistough_period 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
i'm only 16, and i'm not even sure if i ever want to get married if she's just going to put me through hell until i give in.
2006-07-01 06:56:27 · update #1
they both know how i feel, but they refuse to listen.
2006-07-01 06:57:06 · update #2
i don't love my dad, and i don't want to have to walk down the aisle with someone who isn't special to me, just out of obligation.
2006-07-01 07:01:31 · update #3
Unless your dad pays for your wedding I see no reason for him to have an expectation of walking you down the aisle, you are correct... it will be YOUR wedding and you have the right to have it your way.
2006-07-01 07:02:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If your dad has been there for you emotionally or financially I think you have an obligation to him to let him walk you down the aisle. That is an emotional thing for a good, caring father to do: walk his little girl down the aisle. If he is a loser then its your choice. No matter what, tell your mom to back off for the sake of your dads feelings.
2006-07-01 14:01:17 · answer #2 · answered by chlobug26 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We might have differences with our parents and we might never get along with them. But there is one thing for sure. They love us very very much. I had feelings similar to yours few years ago.
Try to be a little patient.... May be walking you down the aisle is his greatest dream of his life..... he would be so proud. May be doesn't even live till the time you are married! We are not perfect people so maybe not perfect parents too. Be at ease avoid talking to your mom abt it. Relax you are much too young. Cross the bridge when you come to it. Decide on the day of your marriage and that day do what your heart really wants you to do.
2006-07-01 14:07:18 · answer #3 · answered by amazon 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off IMAGINE your wedding, but don't tell your parents b/c they are going to try to change your mind till it is how they want it. So just say "sure, sure whatever" so they'll leave you alone. Then when the time comes and you are planning your wedding, then don't tell them how you WANT it, tell them how IT IS going to be. Anotherwards, never say "I WANT to walk down the isle alone" say "I AM going to walk down the isle alone" By saying the word "want" it makes you sould wishy washy and they will try to change your mind. Don't argue, don't try to make a point. Just "I'm walking down the isle alone" Who cares why? It is your wedding and you can have it anyway you want it. You don't need a why. That day is the only day in the world I think when you can say "Because I want to" Well till you have kids of course. Just try to stop everything now. Don't deal with it till later when you have. No use in unnessary stress. Good luck. Now and later
2006-07-01 14:09:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just get married by a Justice of the Peace at your local Court House. Your dad won't have to walk you down the aisle and you won't look stupid.
2006-07-01 13:58:23 · answer #5 · answered by stevis78 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you don't want your dad to walk you down the aisle, then don't. it would be your day and no one else should make decisions for you. you could even threaten them with not allowing them to attend your wedding. my mom wanted my step dad to walk me down the aisle saying how he had been more of a father to me than my actual dad, but the truth is, is that i hated my step dad, and i simply said no...even though she still brings it up i don't let it bother me. it's not like your parents can force you to walk down the aisle with someone that you don't want to.
2006-07-01 14:02:24 · answer #6 · answered by tlacyo74 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, honey, its your wedding, and therefore you have a right to do it how you want. I myself, don't want my mom to do a particular ceremony at my wedding, and i'm sure it will hurt to tell her no... but it is your day, and you have to emphasize that. see if you can't find a way to have a nontraditional wedding, where those types of things don't even have to come up. plus, you are young and have your life ahead of you,... i wouldn't worry so much about the wedding until you actually have the ring on your finger. Because, you always have time to change your mind.
2006-07-01 14:01:21 · answer #7 · answered by rollarcoaster brain 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's your wedding and you do what you want. Don't worry so much about it now as you are only 16...but just make sure you stand up for yourself when it is time....sorry to hear things aren't great with your dad.....see if you can have a private talk with your mom and just talk to her about what is important to you and why...just be as calm as possible when you do....but don't give in to anything you don't want because it will be your special day
2006-07-01 14:00:08 · answer #8 · answered by pineappleclock2002 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds to me like what they used to call "borrowing trouble."
Do you even have any one in mind to marry? By the time you actually get around to getting married things could change. You and your dad could be on better terms. He could be dead. Maybe you'll be living in another country and won't even need to invite him. Better you should save the bickering until you're sure what the problems are going to be. Meanwhile talk to your parents about other things such as whom you will invite to your graduation.
2006-07-01 14:13:07 · answer #9 · answered by Lleh 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like they are using you as an excuse to hold themselves together, dont let it get to you, stop reacting to it, and YES you have the right to make your own decisions now and in the future, just smile and nod, and carry on. You can change your mind a hundred times between now and then or pretend to at least.
2006-07-01 13:59:48 · answer #10 · answered by c_d_carrier 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋