Just to start I am gay. My boyfriend broke up with me a week ago. We decided to stay friends but best not to see each other physically for a while and just talk on the phone occasionally to become friends. The reasoning for the breakup was that we just had too many issues that couldn't be solved right away causing stress on both of our lives and that we needed time to fix them before even considering going out again. I still love him and in some way I believe he still has feelings towards me. We agreed it might be a good idea to see other people after our problems have been fixed, but that the future might have us two together again after becoming friends. I guess my question would be in this situation where the breakup wasn't really for any good reason so to speak, that is it possible we still have our chances after becoming friends? I still love him and would do anything in the world for him and I still believe he likes me, just the fact that he has his own life problems.
2006-07-01 04:49:10 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
We didn't necessarily agree with seeing other people. The point came up when we talked yesterday which was 4 days after the breakup. My ex has so much emotional stress right now and he really has no friends. We broke up because we drifted apart only because we let these issues get in our way. Our life choices created a barrier to see each other. He lives almost an hour away and it is hard to be by his side 24/7 with working full time. Being there in person to console someone is completely different and more rewarding and healthy than trying to do it over the phone. Another issue was the fact that my parents did not know I was gay during our relationship of 4 months. My mom told him that she hated him based solely on the fact he was gay. His own family doesn't like the fact that he is gay and ridicule him and "abuse" him for it. With his low self esteem I understand why we needed time apart from our relationship. We are trying to become good friends & see what the future hold
2006-07-01 05:18:24 · update #1
Very hard to answer... It really depends on the issues..
If issues effect the relationship - then possibly the relationship isn't strong enough & has now come to a natural end..
Only time will tell... But - If I still loved someone - I couldnt remain their friend - simply because when she found someone - It would kill me.. So If you've agreed to see other people - then I would say - "Thats it" Look for someone else...
2006-07-01 05:02:04 · answer #1 · answered by want_to_explore_life 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well the issues and combonation of stress you have been facing have completley over-burdened your relationship. It changed from a loving one, to an unhealthy one. I wouldn't suggest getting back together. Let me explain.
I am not gay, I do not have gay friends but all relationships are the same. Even involving two men. You might thinks it's different or unique, but it's not. Heres the point: Men have physical relationships, before they have emotional ones. For this reason gay men are the most sexual creatures on earth, and also the most unlikely to settle down in any case. Seeing that you mutually agreed to find other people during this break shows that the emotional part of your relationship cannot be repaired. Upon finding a new physical partner, the time away will repair your emotions. Once, you assume you may be able to get together you will meet up and discover that you are the equivalent of poison to eachother.
The relationship will not work again. Especially, as a man knowing that to be satisfied in your just-ended relationship you both needed to get with another man.
If you do get back together, or remain friends it will be a physcial relationship. Sense you are the one who wants the emotional impact, it will be him who will deceive you.
2006-07-01 12:02:11 · answer #2 · answered by Poestalker 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey, hiya doing, look pimp this, the position you are in right now is a very fragile one. The best thing u should do is tolet him make the next move, cause you shouldn't try to make it happen when he has something gnawing at the back of his mind, it will ruin the whole thing. Keepp showing him that you love him and if he gets back to you, then know that ur relationship has grown stronger. The fact that he wants to be friends with you shows that he too still cares about you but it's juts a matter of time, so hold and and keep showing them feelings, but not too much. Be a little attentive to his problems and offer some support, it will work out for the best. Wish u luck
2006-07-01 12:02:56 · answer #3 · answered by lynexxe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People don't break up for no good reason. There had to be something wrong in the relationship for you guys to go your separate ways. If he had too many issues in his life, you would have stood by his side all the way. Maybe there will be a chance for you in the future. Who knows. In the meantime, since you couldn't stay living together, then just stay by his side as a friend. Don't put any pressure. You are also taking the chance of him meeting another guy that will stand by his side throughout all his mess. Don't be surprised.
2006-07-01 11:58:38 · answer #4 · answered by BluePassion 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's so sad when two people make eachother happy but get so much resistance from those around them who are supposed to be supportive. You didn't have a good start did you? Maybe just have a little time apart and, believe me, if your feelings for eachother are mutual, you will wind up in eachothers arms again somewhere down the line. Families should support eachothers life decisions and I only hope that both of your families can learn to accept you for what you are. Good luck Xx
2006-07-01 14:59:45 · answer #5 · answered by Amanda C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This might sound mean, but you're not responsible for this guy. You're not his therapist or psychiatrist, so don't try to be. You broke up, so the usual advice is to stay away from each other to give the both of you time to heal from the relationship. Although there is a possibility of getting back together, in order for that to happen you need to be apart from each other. I understand that you want to help him, but you must also realise that it is entirely up to him whether or not he wants to solve his issues. I guess what I want to say is that, if you want to help him, do so because you want to help, not because you hope he will come back to you.
2006-07-01 15:31:26 · answer #6 · answered by newbie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said that you still love him and you believe he still likes you. There's something in that statement. You always have a chance. I would not hold my breath. Become friends and see where that goes. Good luck to you.
2006-07-01 12:02:03 · answer #7 · answered by doglady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think its good to still be friends but i wouldnt see other people while use are apart because it might cause problems if or when use do get back together
2006-07-01 12:00:52 · answer #8 · answered by sharon v 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do you wont to be my boyfriend email me kerribrookes 2006@yahoo.co.uk
2006-07-01 14:00:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋