Are you good friends with your former spouse?

Question

Do people think the whole thing is strange? How long after your divorce were you able to get back to friendship? Are there children involved?

I have been divorced since 1981, and we are the best of friends. We're both remarried, and it took our spouses a while to get used to the idea of our friendship, but its all great now. Just wondering if anyone else has experienced this.

Answer 1

Yes it is possible. I was married for 5 years before my ex had a lot of affairs. I was really angry at first. But we also have a daughter and she was the important issue. So I started by being civil for her and them started seeing things that I really didn't like in my ex. His way of life, drinking and such. Boy did he do me a favor. I found the greatest husband in the world, we have been married for 10 years now and going strong. What I always wanted. My ex showed me that he was not what I wanted. Our daughter is graduating this year and we are hosting her party together. I knew my husband John was the perfect guy because he understood and cared enough about my daughter to become friends with my ex also. Oh don't get me wrong my ex still does thing that I would like to kill him for but I don't. I think that progress. Besides people have to realize that when you divorce you child is still part of his family. They are her family also. They will miss them. Good luck if you are at this point in you life.

Answer 2

We were gonna try to keep it friendly. But she went about things wrong. She went behind back to file divorce first when we were gonna go together. We did live together for 3 months after divorce only until she got money to move into better house. Than she kept it a secret and lied until the one day I came home from work and her and the kids were gone. I had known that she was moving and didn't let on I knew. Everytime she went over to the other place she would lie and say she was going to town. I would drive by new place and there she was. I don't even know if I want friendship with her. Since divorce she has been self centered, standoffish, rude, and down right mean. I don't need friends like that. Yesterday I talk to a woman who said she knew my ex really well. She said my ex slept with her boyfriend while she was married to me. He happened to be her supervisor at the time. Now she is a supervisor. I bet she is really proud of her "accomplishment". I could be supervisor too, I just don't like sucking d**k. I hope she likes what she sees when she looks in a mirror. She makes me sad and I do feel sorry for her (just a little). She don't have a clue what is really important. I love my kids and wouldn't give them up for anything. She cares more about her job then her two kids. She works nights and doesn't see much of them. Today she won't get up til after noon and won't do anything with them anyways. She just reads romance novels while they play by themselves or with the neighbor kid. Anyways I try to be civil and an adult when there is an issue with the kids. Otherwise I don't want nothing to do with her. Thanks a lot. I hope your happy bumming me out? :)

Answer 3

After my first divorce, I couldn't stand talking to my ex again. He went around cheating on me, when I was home trying to be good wife. But anyway, after couple of years later down the road. He acted like his crap didn't stink. Like he was the king of the world. What a jerk.
But that came back and bite him in the butt. The relationship he had after me went down hill. From a nice house to a beat down nasty trailor. His luck with people wasn't good either. Someone try to kill him, hit and run.
But we didn't have no kids. Thank God.
After my second divorce. We were talking, not trying to work it out. But just as friends only. For a while it was going good. Till he move back in with his mom. Then things went sour. She was the back stabbing kind.
She couldn't stand for her sons being with other women. This woman was sick and needed help badly. He use to tell me, when he was a lil boy. That his mother would try to get him, to do things with her. Sick and incest. That is so nasty.
Why he went back and live with her again. Lord knows why. But he did and we stop talking.
Everytime I see him now. Him and his now wife acts like they are better then me. Whatever, I have my own home, my own car, money coming in, and I have a better relationship then they do.
He married her, she cheated on him the next day. He didn't have a job at the time. They was only living off the check that her child gotten.
So I pick dumbass men at the time. But you live and learn. There was no children .
But some people do become friends after divorce. They have a better friendship then a relationship.

Answer 4

It is not strange. Just because you tried life with another person and decided to try it in a different way does not lessen the relationship that you had with someone. If children are involved it is really important to stay firm together so the kids don't get the upper hand and use it to their benefit. Believe me it is much better to be friends than to carry around the baggage of disliking somebody.

Answer 5

Funny!! It is very possible to be friends after a divorce. Actually, I think it is a good idea, especially if there are children involved. My cousin divorced her husband many, many years ago. They had one son. Throughout the years after the divorce, they actually became friends. His sister is her best friend. Well, my cousin remarried two years ago and he was more than welcome to the wedding and he was there, with his family. And her x-husband is friendly with her new husband. It is actually a very mature thing. And it's helped them raise their son to become a very well-rounded man. (He's not 20).

Divorce doesn't always have to be a scratch your eyes out kind of thing. If your marriage didn't work out, that's one thing, and the best thing is to move on.

Answer 6

Me and my ex are great friends. Actually, I think we are better friend now than ever before. We have been seperated for 2 years. Yes, we did hate each other but after alot of talking, we decided not to blame on each other but rather make the best out of everything. Things are already bad as it is, we don't want it to be worst. If you just try to compromise with each other a liitle more than usual, things will be ok. Forget about the past and move on to the future

Answer 7

I have three kids with my former spouce and even though he had an affair that caused the divorce we still remained friends and not for the kids. We said that when we were married we'd keep each other close for other reasons but that never happened. Good luck to you.

Answer 8

yes you can...I was married for 14 years and after him having an affair, we divorced...I hate him for what he did to me and our kids ...and we could be with in ten feet of each other without words flying...but two years and so soul searching..the only people that were really hurt we're our kids...I put it behind me and starting being nice to him and I could see the change in my kids it took months but soon we were talking. now we talk daily about the kids and our new lives....we will never be a couple again but we are friends..

Answer 9

I found it strange at first but we are the best of friend we weren't married but lived together for 3 years and no children

Answer 10

"Friendly" works for me. And yes, I'd say we are friends to some extent. I still feel as though I can talk to her about anything and everything and I can. We've got 3 beautiful girls. We're separated (probably forever) and she lives w/the kids w/her parents. Miss the kids more than her because our husband/wife relationship slowly eroded away. I Still believe in happy endings, though. And I hope there's one for each of us... Sigh... ;(