What's the best way to get over a rape?

Question

I was raped when i was 16 now 20 and still need advice on how to forget.

Answer 1

I don't know if "get over rape" is the best way to phrase it. Sweetie... rape is a huge infringment of trust, personal space... not to mention, it's against the law. I don't have to tell YOU the horrors of rape... sounds to me, like you are all too familiar with them. I'd hug you, if I could... it sounds like you have been through a terrible ordeal. But you can heal. There are many ways to approach this:
-Tell someone close to you... someone you can trust. Often just dragging this heavy secret into the light/open, can dispell some of the shame and burden. Make sure it's someone you can trust, whom can offer you support and comfort.
- Get counselling. I can't stress this enough. Rape is terrifying. It has lasting effects that can damage your ability to love, trust and hope. Sometimes you are aware of the effects it has on you... often, you aren't. There are counselors that specialize in dealing with sexual assault. Do an online search... ask a trusted friend... call a rape hotline. Any of these resources can help you find the help you need.
-I hope this goes without saying, and ofcourse should be number one... INVOLVE THE POLICE, AND GET A MEDICAL CHECK UP. Protect yourself from your attacker, and from anything he may have given you. This is not an option. For your safety, and that of the next woman (women) he may attack... involve the local authorities.
-There are support groups... hell, even YAHOO! groups for women who have been through what you have been through. You don't HAVE TO do it alone... so don't. Rape is not something life prepares you for... don't go it alone. Seek help, there is no shame in that.
-Remember a few things: A.) I didn't ask for it, B.) I didn't deserve it C.) it's not my fault. I don't know about your particular situation, but women are often left under the impression that they had it coming... I assure you, you did not.
-If all else fails... I am a survivor of rape... I am happy to listen and advise (where I can). my yahoo id is: apromiseofanewday . message me.
-Don't give up... there is happiness waiting for you. Years of joy and a wonderful life ahead. And you deserve all of that, sweetie. Happy healing, and God bless/

Answer 2

I know what you are going through, I have been there ...and more. Go the website listed below. It is about forgiveness and more importantly forgiving yourself. Until this is done you will not heal... I am 38 and I am finally healing! And not from just the rape but from everything that has ever happened to me that hurt me and broke my spirit. I am slowly gaining trust back and I can also enjoy sex more fully than before. For a while there were LOTS of things I wouldn't do with a man. I have learned to be more comfortable in my own skin.

This may not happen over night... but you will heal. One day you will see that something good came out of this. Maybe with advice to younger girls on how to avoid certain situations... or if after the fact... by just talking with them like I am with you right now.

Everything happens for a reason, the good and the bad...we learn and grow from all of it.

Answer 3

Hi! I went through the same exact thing about 15 yrs ago (I'm 30 now). It's something you never really "get over", but there are ways to have a happy productive life.
How I dealt with it is, I went to therapy & learned that it wasn't my fault & there was nothing I could change. It happened, now I have to learn skills to deal with it and move on and don't let it ruin my life. Anti-depressants and also, lots of prayer. That helped me. You just have to figure out what works for you.
I am now married and have 2 wonderful kids and I'm real happy. I sometimes think about it, but I realized that I am in control of my life and I am NOT gonna let it control me. So, now when I think about it and I start getting sad, I say to myself, "Yeah it happened, now what am I gonna do about it? Nothing. There's nothing I can do to change it." And then I pray. Then, I go do something else.
Another thing that has really helped me is opening up to my husband,best friend, and family. Mostly I talk to my best friend about it. (she's been through the same thing) and we are there for eachother and support eachother.
If you seem to not be able to "forget", then call the rape hotline in your area. I've heard they're real helpful.
I hope I have been of some help. If you would like to contact me to further talk, I'm here! I'm a great listener and I do have some knowledge. [e-mail]
Take it day to day!
Best of Luck!!

Answer 4

believe me its very hard i am in the same situation. i was 17 when it happened and i am now 20... and every time i try to get to close to someone i get scared and back away i have tried help... praying... talking about it with family... but i kinda found a way to ease the pain, i talk to a friend of mine who was also raped, and that helped a lil because now we have each other to lean on when we are feeling down instead of someone who doesn't even know what it feels like to be taking advantage of... so if this makes any sense and you need someone to talk to email me sometime at [e-mail] and we can talk

Answer 5

That's not something you just forget. It's a life-changing experience and you can't just pretend it didn't happen. What you CAN do is offer your story and apparent pain from it to others who have gone through the same thing. Maybe volunteer at a shelter for battered women or something that helps people who have gone through what you went through (and often many many worse things). Sometimes facing an issue head-on is really what helps you to grow from it. Instead of trying to forget it happened, try remembering it happened and do what you can to help others recover from or avoid ever having to experience what you went through.

Answer 6

First of all, believe that it was a bad occassion, and you couldn't do anything about it.

Pray the ONE alone creator of this world, that you get it forgot.

And, in order - that you do not get such bad expereience ever again, wear the Hijab,

you may not like it, but this is the real solution.

If you need info on Hijab, or what is it. email me at [e-mail]

Answer 7

Think that it was a bad dream. Or the other way is to think that in your previous life you had done similar torture to an innocent person for which you had to pay a price in this life. Accordingly, you should not do similar things to hurt others in this life, so that it is not carried over to your account in the next birth.

Answer 8

You have some good answers to your question but I would like to add one more for you to do.
Please get some kind of notebook and start writing down all of your feelings this will be a journal that can help you. I have done this and it really does help.
I am also a victim and if you ever need to talk then just email me at my yahoo email .

Answer 9

i have a similar situation only i was 14 and now im 15 but there really is no easy way to get over it you could talk about it to someone that you really trust and then try not to think about it thats what i did after i told my mom what happen to me you could tune it out of your life or if you find yourself drifting into the thought try to think about something different

Answer 10

Stormy Mariah's answer was perfect!
Forgiving yourself and the person who hurt you so badly is the only way to real freedom.....I know this from experience and it will take TIME but I promise you this if you allow yourself you can do this one day at a time!
Ask God to help you with every second of the day to overcome your pain and he will!!