I had a friend that always talked about me behind my back. One day I caught her. I heard her say that she did not like me. She said she never said anything. This been going on over 2 years. She gives my buisness out to everyone.Then she and another one of my friends were talking about me. She always follow after her. Then they made a plan where our whole group of friends would where a white shirt witha pink or blue skirt. They did not want me to know so that the next day I would not fit in with them. Only the people who made that plan wore the colors. At the end they were the ones who did not fit in. What should I do so that next time they would respect me and not talk behind my back?
2006-07-01 04:25:22 · 37 answers · asked by sassygirl5993 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
It seems to me that they are not really your friends. Don't let there be a next time. Cut them loose. They aren't worth your time.
2006-07-01 04:29:19 · answer #1 · answered by greentiger1978 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, you can't stop people from talking about you behind your back. Backstabbers have been around a long time and I foresee their demise during our lifetime. These girls are not your friends. Right now, the things that are going on may seem very important to you, but one day you will realize that you are so much more than a pink shirt to fit in. YOU are a wonderful individual. Surround yourself with positive people and things who appreciate you for the great person that you are. In other words, get that dirt off your shoulders.
2006-07-14 04:44:50 · answer #2 · answered by intentionalmasterpiece 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself this.......are they friends, or am I just feeling the need to fit in? Chances are the answer is the fitting in. Then ask yourself fit in to what? Is that what I really want to 'fit' in with? It is hard being an individual and it is hard feeling alone. But in all honesty, the person who made the comment about immature actions, was on to something. ~ Until you find a true friend..........stay busy......work on your grades.....things that make you feel accomplished and make you feel good about what is important and that is you. If you like to read, pick up a good book, if you like to write, get some sincere penpals. They can turn into great friends. Reach for your goals. You will find in life that a lot of the very girls who made you feel like the misfit, go on to accomplish less than you will in life, where it really counts. Cliques are not fun and I know they can make things miserable, but really, I do not think you want to be like them enough to fit in. Be an individual. If they were "happy" "content" "confident" people, they would have better things to do than plot to make others feel bad.
Pray about it too. You would be amazed at the difference that will make.
2006-07-13 17:36:41 · answer #3 · answered by roo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are a number of ways you could handle this (in an adult fashion). You could go to the girls in question, and have a heart to heart. Tell them the effect their gossip and hateful discord has had on you. It will be easy to see, right away, if they have and remorse or regret. Another way, is to just break all ties with the "friends" in question. To be real honest... these girls don't seem to be your friends at all. Friendship is a bond... a kinship. Friends (especially girlfriends) are suppose to support one another, build each other up, offer encouragment and a hand up. The girls in question cause you unnecessary pain, worry, and distress. They tear you down and make you feel like and outcast... causing you to feel like you have to watch your back. I can tell by the wording of your question that resentment is welling up inside you (and rightly so)... do they sound like friends to you? Is resentment, anger and fear, what you are after? Do these negative feelings make you feel closer to these girls? Bonded with them? I suspect the answer is no. Another way to deal with treacherous aquaintences, is revenge. Part of you probably thinks they have some nasty deed, coming to them, as they have used their manipulative ways on you. I advise against this... this only drags you down to their level. Living well is the best revenge. Rise above their petty ways, and find you some girlfriends whom are deserving of your time, energy, talents and kindness. I wish you well in your pursuit.
2006-07-01 04:42:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW, things have really changed since I was young. It used to be where the word "friend" had a completely and totally different definition. This being true I guess I have no comment or suggestion for you. Had the meaning of a friend remained the same as it was to me when I was young, I could suggest that you find a true friend................( those are people who don't do as the so-called friends did to you) One who would lay down their live for you. Oh, the good ole days.
2006-07-01 04:35:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh hon. these are NOT friends. I repeat these are NOT friends.
People at school know what these people are like and how the abuse their friendships and how they rudely exclude people and try to make them look like fools. Actually they are the ones that look like fools. They just have the arrogence and entitlment that makes them apear to be in the hip group. As you mature you will not want to pay a price for friendship.
You need to appear confident.....you might be scraed or nervous but don't let them see it. Stand up to them, maybe say something like this " this group is basically bullies who are so needy for acceptence that they belittle other people in order to make themself feel superior. A good person makes their friends feel good not bad. I don't need to be friends like you, I enourage anyone else ready to choose to not be back stabbers and get away from this mean spirited group." then walk away. Stay away from them. It is better for you to have NO friends than friends like that. You might be amazed with the fact that other girls feel the same. Some of you might start a new group and agree to not be back stabbers, to be kind of each other, to be such good friends that you can count on each other forever.
There is a really a very good movie and I can't remember the name of it. I have rosie Odonnel in it, Meg Ryan, and other good actresses. It shows them as little girls, teenagers and finally as adult women who come back to their home town to support each other in a troubled time for one of them.
Also a good movie about the ya ya sisterhood. Geesh I wish I remembered. Watch a few movies about friendship and make up your mind that is how you want to be and then don't settle for anything else.
Also something that I learned as I got older in high school (a long time ago) is that as we age we might have less friends becasue we have narrowed down what we need in a friendship. And that it is best to have one or two best friends,than it is to have a large group of friends that you can't trust.
When you do have friends don't repeat the mean behaviour of your mean friends. It is up to you to find quality friendships.
Qualilty more than Quanity.
Good luck
2006-07-14 12:41:22 · answer #6 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like everyone else is saying, they do not sound like true friends. But that was not your question. You want respect. Here's how to earn the respect of others:
1) Respect others. Be polite, kind, and patient with EVERYONE, but know when to...
2) Respect yourself. Respect yourself enough to not hang around with people who treat you badly. Respect yourself by telling them (if necessary), "I'm sorry that you have nothing better to do with your time than to exclue people and talk cruelly about them, because I certainly do."
If you carry this attitude all the time, no one can talk badly about you because they will respect you, and plus, there will be very little bad to say.
2006-07-14 19:01:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thank God, that we have the opportunity to change friends they are not like our family/relatives which we are born into so just change but you have learnt your lesson take your time and just don't discuss what happen with you and your friend let your friendship be on another level and learn to let personal things remain personal because a best friend always have another best friend
2006-07-14 15:31:22 · answer #8 · answered by Mellisa A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girls will be Girls...... I don't know how old you are but I'm sure you will switch friends more times in your life than you can imagine. You may only have one friend that will remain true to you your whole life and even one is asking for a lot. I'd say that if you feel that have wronged you and you feel they may do it again. Drop Um! Karma will get um!
2006-07-14 09:00:05 · answer #9 · answered by exotic69n 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they are acting very childish and are not worhty of your freindship. Be careful about sharing your personal buisness with any of them. the walls have ears. If you don't want it know, don't say it out loud! I think if you behave more maturely and don't even TRY to fit in with them, they will see you as more grown up and may respect you for it. If not, they werent' the friends that they claimed to be.
With friends like that - who needs enemies?
2006-07-01 04:32:30 · answer #10 · answered by helpme1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the same situation with my cousin
do like I did I ignored her I stoped calling her
or sometimes when she wore nice clothes
tell her its ugly and that u dont like this color.
and always try to look prettier than her.
show her that u dont want her around but dont tell her
u dont want 2 be friends with her anymore
than she will know that shes on ur nerve.
GOOD LUCK!!
2006-07-01 04:37:33 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋