We have a promiscuous teenager? What do we do and how do we get her to stop?

Question

She is in birth control, but has had clamydia

Answer 1

Well, what do you mean by promiscuous? I take it she's having sex; is it with one guy, 3 or 4, or 20?

First off, you need to understand that sex is much less of a "big deal" for many teens today; sex is often a way of saying "thank you" for a good time; many teens have several "friends with benefits" and within those circles sex is about re-affirming the friendship they feel.

Dating is pretty much extinct among large segments of the teen population. Things are done in groups, but people "hook up" for sex, which doesn't mean they are closer to that person than they are to anyone else in their social set. Exclusivity tends to come later than it did in the pre-video game era.

I would suggest actually trying to listen to your daughter, and explain what your take on things is, and let her make her own mind up. Let her know that you may not like what she is doing, but that you don't look down on her for making her own decisions (even if you think they are terrible). Especially, make sure she has access to birth control and knows about STDs and their symptoms.

Answer 2

Finding out WHY she behaves this was would be a big step. That means counseling of some sort.

This is one of those "landmine" issues, where the more you "try to help", the more messy it gets. Acceptance and love of her, no matter what, are the first steps to guiding her.

I won't be there when my kids make a sexual decision, and you can't teach them every pitfall, so what have drilled into my children, is that there are two rock bottom requirements for sexual relations, Respect and Responsibility. If you adhere to these two principles, your physical and emotional health is much less at risk.

There is a book, "It's Perfectly Normal" I have had my kids read it, and it is arguably the best sex ed book available. It covers everything, and is written in a format that can be understood by various age groups. Get your daughter a copy. It may open up a fountain of communication you never suspected.

Answer 3

Promiscuous probably means lonely/ feels misunderstood/ feels unloved by parents, mentors, family etc. Promiscuous probably does not result simply from being horny. Look for ways to give her the emotional intimacy and unconditional love that she truly desires. Teenagers still really need their parents and crave their attention/ approval even if they seem like they hate you. If she does not find the approval and unconditional love she needs within her family, school, etc she will seek it using the only resource she may feel she has -- sexuality.

Answer 4

When i was 16 i was very promiscuous.My mom took me to the health clinic where we live and they have a class that teaches about all the STD.They also had a video of actually of patients and what the disease looked liked.It scared the crap out of me.Also had teens who had HIV and where willing to tell there story's.That also scared the crap out of me because then i didn't feel invincible.Maybe the health department in your area may have something like this.I got my act together and changed my ways before it was too late.

Answer 5

well I'll tell u my story...i was the same way, my mom caught on to this so she would make me go to support groups for HIV positive people and volunteer in the aids wing at hospitals..she made me do this for weeks until i understood what could happen if i kept acting the way i was. it finally took having to watch this guy i had become friends with dieing, for me to get it. We clicked almost instantly he was such a loving and caring person i really wish i could have known him longer, when he died he left me all his journals that he had been keeping for years even before he diagnosed with HIV. i read all about how he was and how many partners he had up until about 2 weeks before he died cause he didn't have the strength in him to even hold up a pen any more. i think instead of talking to her about it she needs to actually see for herself thru her own eyes what can happen. try to let her know that she was lucky to only get chlamydia next time she might not be to luck...i think if my mom would not have made me go to the hospital and those meetings my life would be a whole nother story!

Answer 6

I was promiscuous as a teenager - later realizing that it was due to low self esteem. I wish my mother would have been more open with me about sex and about the differences between what boys want/need and what girls want/need. communication is what will help your daughter. Boys get self esteem from having sex. That is how they are programmed. Girls get self esteem from emotional support - love, hugs, attention. HOwever, girls don't realize this yet. they think that if a boy wants to have sex that they like her. and that's not the case. they just want to have sex. it builds their self esteem, and unknownst to the girl, it destroys their own self esteem. YOu need to explain this to her. Also describe the risks of STD's and pregnancy in graphic detail. That to care about herself is sometimes having to say no. Good Luck!

Answer 7

Get a pregnancy test and make her real scared. when she takes it tell her she is pregnant. Seriously, let her know that her being promiscuous is not a good thing that if she keeps it up and get a rep. that she isn't going to get a good guy that trusts her or even respects her in the future......

Answer 8

About the only thing you can do is educate her about STD's, HIV/AIDS, pregnancy and birth control. We can't be with our kids 24/7 so we educate them as much as possible and hope they make the right/smart choices but if they don't we love them anyway.

Answer 9

What does promiscuous mean?

Answer 10

Give her love and support. She is lacking something at home so she is looking for love elsewhere.