My boyfriend's bro is in the hospital - how do I express and give the family support and uplift their spirit?

Question

My boyfriend's brother is in the hospital in intensive care. My boyfriend and his mother are coming and going out of the hospital. I want to help somehow. But I don't want to call everty day because I feel like I am intruding. But I feel bad not doing anything. So I went up to the bro's apartment and cleaned it up. But this was a few days ago. My question is: Should I call everyday? Should I call his mom and his dad seperately? (he is in another state), How do I give them support?

Thank you

Answer 1

Call them often

Answer 2

VIA YOUR BOYFRIEND:
This is a very easy one - because you've got an in directly via family. I recommend you ask your boyfriend if you can go with him every time that he goes to see his brother. Or if you're too far away., tell him how often you'd like to call his brother and see if he agrees. You can also ask him if maybe you'd just be an unwanted guest. You can also ask him whatever you want - whatever you feel like you want to do, ask if you can or if it would be wise.

FAMILY REACTION: Some families want to see how you'd react yes., but you don't know HOW they want you to react unless you ask. Some -depending on how close you are with your boyfriend- would want you to stay the heck away.

Some may think jeeze.. she's not family why the heck is she calling and bugging him every day, he needs rest.

Some may think you calling his brother is flirting and .. some others may think of you as a really loving girlfriend that they would want to marry their son, etc. because you are so wonderful.

Well you just really never know unless you ask. And your boyfriend is the one to ask.

BE THERE FOR HIM: Don't do JUST this. Don't just call once and say you'll be there for him. I'm not sure what type of intensive care he's in. But if he were to pass away.. would you regret only talking to him that one time/??? Personally, I would. Many people say that they're fine if you just call the one time, but they don't really mean it. They feel like THEY are the inconvenience being in the hospital requiring everybody else to stop by.

Again, ask your boyfriend. He knows best. :)

Answer 3

You are such a nice person. I don't know of many people that would clean someone's apartment while a loved one was in the hospital. I think it would be very nice of you to call his mother, let her know you care and if there is anything you can do for the family just let you know. During this time they will need all the support they can get. Sometimes just sitting with a person and being there means more to them than anything else.

Answer 4

I feel the same way as you. When some one in my husbands side is sick in the hospital. I don't know what to say. I don't want to say the wrong thing. But, I learned just being their is meant more than words can express. By you cleaning his apartment and visiting him in the hospital means more than any thing to his brother. And, for his parents just give them a call and just telling them hi and how are you is their any thing you need. No you don't have to call them every day. And, for your boyfriend just hug him and let him know you are here for him if he needs any thing to let you know. you are doing a good job by just being thier.

Answer 5

unfavourable little daddikins. those actual everyone seems to be naughty little tinkers and haven't any precise to be so wicked to others. they say stay faraway from politics and faith. maximum human beings got here across that genuine after traveling the RS. a lot for romance thy neighbour. I easily have the kettle on puppy and a roaring hearth so get here and attempt my farmhouse cake. Thumbs down purely take place and can be taken care of with the contempt which they deserve. You gotta ask your self " Do i think fortunate?

Answer 6

This depends on how deep your relationship is with your boyfriend and his parents. If you have a committed relationship which is exclusive and has been long term then calling on a consistant basis is appropriate. Who you call on an every day basis depends on how close you are to each person. If your relationship with your boyfriend is like I just described then call him at least once a day to show your support. If your relationship with his parents is super tight, then call them once a day too to show your support. You can ask how the brother is doing, what his current prognosis is and how the person you called is doing as well. Do not do a lot of talking. What people need in a crisis like this is a good listening ear, someone to bounce emotions off of without getting a lot of comments back. People just need to know you care and will let them talk as much or as little as they want. Sometimes just having somebody sit with you in silence is what is needed. You will know by following their signils. They will talk if they need or just be quiet. Just offer murmering and if they are people who like touch, put you arms around his/her shoulder, give a hug, and just allow them to talk of be quiet. Don't allow your own emotions to run unchecked. They are burdened with all this fear and worry, so they don't need to feel like they need to comfort somebody else when they are the ones in need of comfort.

If you have just started dating this guy, met his parents a time or two, then sending a card with flowers is about all you should do. Let your boyfriend contact you with updates as he feels the need, do not burden him with repeated calls. Also don't allow yourself to feel left out or neglected as this is a major crisis and of course all the focus will be on the ill brother. Just be patient, show your concern as above and then wait it out and be ready to provide that listening ear when he does call.

So, it really depends on the depth of your relationship with each of these family members on an individual basis. Good luck and I hope he gets better soon. Blessed Be.

p.s. His family is NOT watching to "see" how you handle this!! They are totally focused on this member who is so ill, they do not have the emotional capacity to use this as an "opportunity" to check out how you behave. Trust me they are not focused on anything but this young man who is so ill. It is possible that they may remember if you intruded innapropriatly, or if you did not show any concern at all, but right now they are not thinking about what you do or do not do. I simple do not understand how anyone could think somebody would be focusing on judging the behavior of a girlfriend during such a crisis. Now, when he is out of ICU and on the mend, then yeah, perhaps, just maybe they will be aware of how you are behaving. There is not any one set of behavior for this situation. Just show your concern, send a card and flowers, and be there according to your relationship with each member to provide comfort and a listening ear. How you do this is totally up to you.

Answer 7

He's in intensive care so call everyday, every so often send some small sympathy card etc...your b/f and his family are watching to see how you handle this (weather you're a caring person or not).

Answer 8

I'm going thorugh the same thing but he is not my boyfriend,just a good friend.
I feel like a heel for not calling him everyday but then again, I don't want him to think that I am imposing on him and his mom.
When he does hear from me...he's happy...
Just don't cram[ his style..

Answer 9

just be there for them and let them know if they need anything you will always be there for them.. im sure they would aprechate you just being there with them exspecilly your boyfriend. think how much that will mean to him..... ur not intruding your just worried and your careing. and im sure that they love that and why not call every day? u call because u care... good luck

Answer 10

just being there helps more than u know. yes call anyttime .yes by all means call his mom and dad, i pray all will be fine .just be your self