my brother live's with me and my husband and child?

Question

My brother live's with me and my family. He was going threw hard times financaly so, my husband and I decided to take him in. The only thing is he don't clean up after himself. He has a fit if you tell him to do something around the house. He don't do his laundry. And, If I don't do it then his laundry would stink up the whole house. He has realy stinky feet. I tell him about that. He laughs and say's I know. His body oder is very nasty smelling to. He don't take showers on a daily basis. He say's he do. But, He don't He only takes them once a week if we are lucky. sometimes he skips a week. And, If my husband a I tell him to take a shower this place stinks his things Im picking on him. I need advice people please my husband and I live in a very clean home. I feel he don't care on how I feel about his way's but I don't want to throw him out. Its not right. I need some advice. My brother don't want to listen about him stinking or cleaning up after himself.

my brother is 33 yrs old to the question i

my brother has a job. even if he is not here his body odor still linger's I can't take it.

Answer 1

You need to get rid of him before he destroys your own family.
I have seen good people destroyed by an uncaring individual like your brother. After awhile, you yourself are going to hate your own lifestyle.He can be helped ,but if he is making an *** out of himself, why bother? Later on, he is going to tell everyone that you never helped him.Kick him out before he takes you down...There is tomorrow. So, wherever he was, he can return or find himself another fool who will let him in..............

Answer 2

Oh Dear! At 33 years old, it is too late to start teaching him hygiene, especially since he has no concept or realization of it at all. it also seems that he is taking his privileges to be his rights.
you say he is going through a bad time, is he making any efforts to get back up on his feet or is he just sitting at home secure in the knowledge that his sister is feeding him?
you have shown him great kindness by supporting him during his rough patch, he should return the kindness at the very least by making sure that he does not put you to any more trouble looking after his daily needs. that said, there is another aspect to consider. was he always like this or is this new? if this is new behavior, it could be that he is depressed due to his financial trouble and his sense of self-respect cannot handle the fact that he is dependent on his sister's charity. people do things very differently when they are depressed. they don't go through the normal daily routines simply because they don't feel upto them. and criticism does not help as it makes the person feel victimised. your best course of action would be to first discuss this privately with your doctor to see if depression may be an issue here. if yes then he is going to need treatment, but he will get well and then be grateful to you for pulling him out of a downward spiral.
if, however, he has always been uncouth and unhygienic, then there is nothing you can do and you should get him to leave as his behavior will eventually put a strain on your relationship with your husband.

Answer 3

If your brother is 33 then I think he is old enough to take care of himself. Just tell him straight away that if he does not mend his way you will be forced to ask him to leave. After all its your house. He is just living off you and taking advantage of your kindness. If he still does not listen just tell him to leave. He has no right to give you so much trouble. Let him solve his financial problems himself. He sounds like an ungrateful rascal.
I would never let such a person live in my house even though he was my brother.
Tell him to get a job and get his own place. Such people need to be taught a lesson. I know I sound harsh but dear if you keep bearing this person he will never leave and you will always have to live in a mess.
If you want peace to prevail between you and your husband better tell you brother to leave cause one day or the other your husband will be fed up and may even get frustrated with you as he is your brother.
There is nothing else that can be done except telling your brother to leave as I feel he is not going to change his habits. Just give him an ultimatum and see what happens.
If you don't want to be harsh then keep bearing his ways silently. you think it will not be right to tell him to leave but tell me one thing, whatever your brother is doing is that right. He is living off your earnings and even then is being ungrateful. Is that right ??
Just give it a thought. All the best.

Answer 4

Well then you and your husband must make the hard decision that is what is the best for YOUR household. If you entertain much what are you guest going to think about things. I just know how important a clean house for a female. My wife when she expecting company will have us clean for days to make sure our house is very clean. Then as the company arrives will say Excuse how messy the place is. To me your brother is showing you, your house,and himself disrespect. I understand you want to help but there should be or you should some respect for doing it. Just maybe by giving him a choice to will be helping to grow up and get some self respect. I know it will be hard but you must make a stand and tell him that his actions are not acceptable. There are other places that will help him out. So what is most important to you as a wife, a mother, and as his sister. Stand up for your self if you don't no one else will.

Answer 5

You obviously love your brother but at thirty-three years old he is a full grown man and such should not only have respect for himself but for your family. Sit down and calmly advise him you have tried to assist him as much as possible. He needs to have better personal hygiene and help your family with the household responsibilities or ask him to leave there are shelters and organizations that will help him you can only do so much if he isn't willing to do for himself then stop the fire now before he adds more logs to the flame!

)o( Goddess Bless )o(

Answer 6

O MY GOD!!!!!!!!!! you have to put your brother out of your home before u start having problems with your husband over it. Tell him you love him and you would not do anything that would cause him harm but her has to go if he can abide by your house rules. hes a grown man if he dosent like then he can get out if he gets angry and says hell hate you for life he wont hell thank you in the long run for making him do better for himself. GOOD LUCK oh yeah pray about it. God will give you the answer and the strenght to do what ever u need to.

Answer 7

Give him an ultimating. This is your house not his. While he lives in your house, he needs to follow the house rules that were set up before he moved in. If he doesn't like it, it will be his choice to move out if he doesn't want to change. If you don't do anything, he will be taking advantage of your and your husband's generocity. This could get worst.

Answer 8

If he throws a fit then say I took you in but you dont help at all, And when I say you smell take a shower daily. I cant have this in my household andtheres also the impact on (insert Child name). Then threaten to move without him and sell this house(Dont really tho)

Answer 9

You need to tell him straight. Exactly what you told us. I think the time for tough love is at hand. He is abusing your generosity and your child doesn't need him for an example. If he doesn't like it, It is up to him to change or leave. It won't be your fault if he chooses the latter. You told him to clean up his act not to leave. But still make it clear. He needs to straighten up.

Answer 10

Does he have a job? What does he do all day? Sit on his butt?!?!? Tell him straight up how you feel, he doesn't have to ruin your life just cause he's isn't all that great. I'm sure he feels like a loser having to live off his sis.