now, the problem, i just found out that he's been seeing an old gf and didn't tell me because he knew i'd get pissed. well, i'm MORE pissed because he wasn't up front with me to begin with. i found out because she texted him after he went to sleep last night. i have NEVER checked his text mess. before, but for some reason i did last night. it simply said, "kisses" michelle!
i confront him first thing this morning because he knew something was wrong w/me. he 'swears' that he told her to leave him alone, but she keeps on. he said he told her he's happily married...blah, blah...he's cried and begged me to believe him and said we could call her together, bs. he said her marriage ended and she called him crying and saying she'd kill herself, so he talked to her to try and help her out, but she was wanting more. i don't know w/to believe, but i don't wanna b a fool either. he says he'll change his phone# and all, he doesn't wanna loose me.how 2 know, am i saying ok just do it again?
2006-07-01 02:44:51 · 13 answers · asked by thundakat312 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
please tell me what you think? honestly too!
ty
2006-07-01 02:45:42 · update #1
I'm probably not the best person to answer this, because I have a real trust issue because of this very thing. but my Ex-husband told me the same thing...over and over. I was a fool and believed him, the first 100 times...finally I wised up and left. I lost everything, but it was better for me and my kids. I don't believe your husband is telling the truth, if he has done it once, he will do it again. If you want to try to make it work, get counseling. I have a friend whose husband cries to her and begs forgiveness on a daily basis...yet he still does the same thing over and over again...and each time she forgives him and takes him back.
2006-07-01 02:50:38 · answer #1 · answered by Fire Storm 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If I were you I would give him one more chance but on a very tight leash. He is your husband and he does deserve your trust and respect but of course that comes with stipulations. I am a woman myself and oddly my husband and I fought last night too he was suppossed to be home at 9 and came home right before midnight. I found some stuff hidden in his top dresser drawer and confronted him. I got the excuse he needed some time alone away from the family we have two kids. He says he was at his brothers. I gave him the benifit of the doubt but of course the stipulations I was talking about was to do some more investigation. Just be careful whatever you do. If there was any sexual contact with this GF then go get counseling if you don't trust him. I dont think mine was another woman but I'm not sure where he was maybe the bar he used to have a drinking proble. Good luck and welcome to being married to not a perfect man like most of us GIRL POWER
2006-07-01 02:52:23 · answer #2 · answered by mrsdamico22 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, with my boyfriend...I had a problem with him lying to me at first. I knew he was, but I just couldn't get him to admit it. Call it women's intuition, whatever. Anyway, one day, I just sat down with him and looked him in the eye and told him that I knew he was lying and it would be a lot better for him if he just confessed. I think he could tell I was being truthful and he just poured out his heart and told me absolutely everything. I had also been hiding some stuff about my past, so we had a total "Honesty Day" and our relationship has never been the same. It's so refreshing to not have to hide anything or wonder if someone from the past might tell something to the other, etc. Maybe you could try that ? I don't know how helpful this was to you, but I tried ! :)
2006-07-01 02:52:07 · answer #3 · answered by not in use anymore. 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being a man, I can answer this question by asking you look at the children, how often they cry and swear? and how often the criminals (and/or the politicians in the world) cry and swear?
Those who like to cry and swear shall not tell the truth!
You can trust him one more time by asking him to write down what he promises. Do not confront with the third party ! The light in your house shines your own house ! Do not take other standard and apply to yourself.
Remember, angry and grief are the great fire which can kill you! Only compassionate can save your grief and calm your angry.
May you be happy again.
2006-07-01 03:09:27 · answer #4 · answered by nitzche 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok..it's very possible your husband is the type who likes to help other people when they are down. I, myself, am like that. If he told her to leave him alone, which he might have, I'd believe him. But honestly, to get to the bottom of this....why don't you and your husband go together and confront this girl? She may have more information to give you than you already know. If there was something going on, you're husband will have to explain himself with the two of you there. It won't give him a chance to lie. This way, you will know the actual truth. Tell your husband to tell her right then and there that if she doesn't stop bothering him, he will file harassment charges. He has to tell her he was only trying to help, but no longer wants to be bothered.
2006-07-01 02:55:27 · answer #5 · answered by trueblond195 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing that catches my attention is this, if he was only talking to her to calm her down, then why did he start crying. The only time when a person starts crying is when they feel guilty about something or they are afraid of loosing their girl. I think that he might be just as guilty as she is, but let him change phone numbers and see where it goes from there. If they begin to text each other, then you know that something is diffidently up.
2006-07-01 02:55:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First thing how did she get his number in the first place? Its good if he says he will change his number and he needs to tell her in front of you that he is happy and loves who he is with now if he cant do that then its just going to keep going on..None of it is his problem she had her chance in the past she married someone else it didnt work out so she maybe trying to rebound on him..But he should leave it alone and worry about his own relationship with you...
2006-07-01 02:54:55 · answer #7 · answered by Tim H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not tell you to break up with him but he was not honest with you or he would have told you instead of hiding it yes that's always the # 1 answer i didn't want to make you mad. Honesty is the most important part of a relationship this is what we build our trust on. Lies destroy that trust, and now you don't trust him right it is possible to remain friend with a ex but the fact he was hiding this is wrong if he has any more contact with her it should be with you there to. Listen to your Heart of Hearts it will help you through
2006-07-01 02:59:05 · answer #8 · answered by jamnjims 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, believe him - forgive and respect him for all of the reasons you fell in love with him. The girl is acting out of bounds - he may very well have been trying to get rid of her - girls who are unhappy tend to gravitate back to ex's and hang on - despite their protests. Give him the benefit of the doubt and take the high road and don't worry about being a fool - because then that will become bigger in your mind than your rleationship with him.
2006-07-01 04:04:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never believe a mans crocodile tears.They speak lies.
President Clinton cried as well on live Television and the world saw his tears for sex scandal.He pleaded he was inocent,the rest is history about Clinton and Monica!!!
Dial a health help line and ask your man to report that lady's problems and about the suicide attempts to them and tell them to do the needful to help her out.
2006-07-01 03:06:13 · answer #10 · answered by Dipi s 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋