I work with a girl who just got married in May, she's 9 months pregnant. The problem is her new husband is a complete *** and lies to her about everything and she knows he lies. But theres been times when she's at work and he tells her he has to work and instead I've seen him out with another girl. One of my other co-workers has also seen him kissing another girl. I feel my co-worker deserves to know but should I tell her or just let her find out herself?
2006-07-01 02:04:02 · 13 answers · asked by farmergyrl23 4 in Business & Finance ➔ Careers & Employment
I don't want to upset her when she's pregnant and add more stress for her.
2006-07-01 02:08:48 · update #1
Tell her
2006-07-01 02:07:32 · answer #1 · answered by ~*Just me*~ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bad situation. Have you ever heard don't kill the messenger? If you tell her and she does not believe you it could make your work situation very uncomfortable. If she really is just a coworker, leave it alone. If she is your friend (not just work friend) that is a little different. I told my best friend that her boyfriend was cheating on her 15 years ago, she did not speak to me for 3 years. She married him and 4 years ago she divorced him for cheating on her. I am not saying don't tell her just be aware of the consequences. Her hormones are out of control right now and she has a more important issue in her life to deal with, maybe wait a month or two if you decide to tell her. Be there for her! Don't dump news like this on a new mom and then walk away, she will need support. If you are not close enough to offer her support you might not be the person to break the news.
2006-07-01 02:15:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most women know when their men are cheating. Some choose to ignore or deny it, not because they want to, but because they are in a difficult position which they cannot change at the present moment. This situation is between her and her husband. It probably would only make things worse for 3rd parties to get involved. If they eventually work things out, she may hold a resentment against those who were tattling on him. The best thing to do is just be a supportive friend, don't offer advice, and let them work things out in their own time. They may eventually split, but right now she just needs supportive friends because having a baby is hard enough without adding a ton of horrible emotional baggage on top of it. Resist the urge to spill the beans.
She will be grateful to you for not adding to her misery at a time like this. Maybe the husband will have a change of heart when he sees his own baby. Sometimes husbands do run around while the wife is pregnant for various pyschological reasons. She will have all she can handle taking care of a new baby. Don't spoil her joy in bonding with her new little bundle. There will be plenty of time in the coming months for the husband to either turn himself around or "hang himself with his own rope". The truth will surface, but I suspect she is aware of it and is choosing to put it aside for now so she can focus on the baby's birth.
2006-07-01 02:19:58 · answer #3 · answered by torticollus 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really depends upon her personality and your relationship with her. People usually do best when learning things on their own, but sometimes we -- as their loyal friends may need to give them a little "push" in the right direction. This can sometimes be accomplished with some strategic questions, such as, "Are you confidant that ___ is faithful to you?" or, "Was that ___'s cousin I saw him with recently -- she's very pretty?"
However, being the person that comes out and says, "Hey, that jerk husband of yours is a lying *** and he's cheating on you!" that might tend to be a little rough, pregnant or not. Stress in something like this is usually instigated by the actual first shock of learning it. If you ask a strategic question or two, you are planting a seed in her head that may take a day or two to germinate into full realization, thus reducing the shock as she has had time to slowly digest the idea before being smacked with the harder reality of it.
Sincerely hope this helps!
Daniel
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2006-07-01 02:19:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She deseerves to know! Whether you tell her or not, if he is the complete jerk you say then she will find out sooner or later! Chances are if she truly loves the guy, she won't listen to what anyone tells her about him and she may be angry at the messenger of the knowledge but then again she may be grateful for someone being completely honest with her! I would rather someone tell me who I considered a friend than to find out on my own!
2006-07-01 02:12:42 · answer #5 · answered by trinitarianwiccan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's pregnant, and ready to deliver. Let it be right now. But, If and when she finds out, be there for her. She will need a true friend! Another option is to maybe confront her husband.
2006-07-01 02:14:57 · answer #6 · answered by ASTORROSE 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Would you want to know?
In the most caring way you can, share this information with your friend.
You must know that it may cause a break in your relationship for a while, but, she will thank you when she grows up.
2006-07-01 02:11:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her, if she finds out you knew and didn't tell her she may feel betrayed by you as well. Let her know you are there for her.
2006-07-01 02:12:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are good friends you should tell her. It would be sad for her to find out herself and find out you knew he was a jerk
2006-07-01 02:08:33 · answer #9 · answered by Karen H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you do and you will probably lose a friend, Its sad but true, some people just have to find out the hard way.
2006-07-01 02:07:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋